Archive for March, 2009

A Word From Our Sponsor…

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

vsop

These are the outtakes from the aftermath of the Roots concert at the Highline Ballroom featuring Hof from ONSmash.com and Shamz da’ baron from OKayPlayer.

This video brought to you by the smooth overproof taste of Ernest & Julio VSOP Brandy and McDonald’s sweet tea.

Athletic Black Guys Who Hustle…

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

ballers

Props to DART ADAMS

The 2009 NCAA men’s college basketball tournament is in full effect. This year we have a boisterous and diverse group vying for a pair of DALLASPENN dot com Nike Dunks courtesy of the good folks in the prA’li movement.

I decided to add a little something extra to the pot since we are mired in an economic recession. The pooler who ends up with the lowest total will also win a pair of kicks too. Since everyone made their selections in an effort to be the king of the hill I feel like showing some love to the biggest loser. I know, I know, that’s mighty Black of me. You are all welcome.

There haven’t been any real major upsets in general, although I did select Wake Forest to go to the Final 4 (I may have been the only one). The Sweet 16 next weekend will have some of the favored teams shaken from the tree. Louisville looks suspect as does Missouri. We’ll see how things come together next weekend. DO the women still have a Final 4 tourney? When are they gonna finally rename that shit the PAT SUMMIT tournament?

PAT SUMMIT is the man!

Here’s Why You Should Make A Ho A Housewife…

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

sexy maid

MSN.com just confirmed what most of already knew…

That prostitution is essentially recession proof.

After the nuclear holocaust the only thing that will remain will be the cockroaches. And the hooker cockroaches.

The only bad thing about the recession is the aspect that hookers have to turn more tricks to come up on the same number of stacks. So instead of a JULIA ROBERTS coming up on a RICHARD GERE to help her get out of the game she ends up with a GARY BUSEY, then a MICKEY ROURKE, then a WESLEY SNIPES, she hooks up with an ANNE HECHE, but then she claims it was her one and only time and she didn’t even like it.

If money were the only thing that mattered I suppose we would all be prostitutes of some sort.

The War On The Poor Continues…

Monday, March 23rd, 2009

lovelle mixon

I’m not going to co-sign or explain away LOVELLE MIXON’s deadly actions this past weekend. I can’t acquit him of the reprehensible act of killing people because he was afraid of returning to prison. However, MIXON’s fate was struck many years before this incident. Before he was even sentenced to prison the first time he was already placed on this path. We are lucky that MIXON had only killed these four people.

More people will die though. More criminals like LOVELLE MIXON. More police officers like the four this past weekend. And even more innocent victims like OSCAR GRANT. This is America’s war on poor people and we have a whole lot more poor folks to expend so I suggest all you mourners visit the botanica and buy the extra big candles because the shit hasn’t even touched the fan.

What no one will discuss though is the high rate of recidivism that American ex-convicts experience. The highest rate of all developed countries.

* chants We’re number #1!*

No, not really a reason for celebration. The prison industrial complex is keeping the maid in ‘Made In America’. The only place that the social and technical skills learned in prison are valuable is regrettably, in prison. Now what if prison labor was the only thing that could save the United States economy?

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA FINALE = PU~

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

bsg

For several years Chocolate Snowflake and I have been riveted to the television set over the BattleStar Galactica series. I can count on one hand the programs that she and I watch with devotional religion, better known as DVR, and BSG is one of those shows (FYI – The Office, 30 Rock, SNL and Anthony Bourdain FTW). I was a little melancholy that this was thre final season of BSG. The show has been more than a little entertaining and exciting considering the premise is simply just a soap opera on a space submarine.

There have been real life themes addressed on this program that transcend the overall plotlines and make you forget that you are watching a science fiction program. I’ve discussed the movie BladeRunner here on this site often. BSG picks up on that theme of what exactly constitutes humanity. We are confronted with characters that are machines in theory, but they respond to situations with emotion that is raw and palpable to that of any “human”. Racism was laid bare and dissected when the viewer had to consider the differences between the human and Cylon perspectives.

“Why can’t we all just get along?”
– RODNEY KING

The BSG finale was going to the answer to this question. The answer was going to lie inside of the mind of a child. Isn’t that where the universe is always the most majestic. Children don’t understand shit like racism or recessions. I thought the writers would bring us to this conclusion but instead they gave us a wild and meaningless shootout and a final thirty minutes of misplaced sentimentality. WTF?!? I have not spent the last four years of my life following this show to be let down like this.

BattleStar Galactica should be ashamed with itself for treating its viewers to such a lazy and morose finale. If I had know they would finish their production in this manner I would have never invested a minute in tuning in this season. It was like getting 24 hours of constant intense foreplay only to find out that the lady spooning your sachs had her vagina removed. At least the Cylons Boomer and Number 6 had operable vaginas.

bsg