Archive for September, 2010

Curren$y Events…

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010


This is a look at some of the redesigns in the U.S. dollar that are part of a contest sponsored by an NYC graphic designer.

I don’t mind adding some color to the dollar. Colored people? Not so much. You see how that shit is working for Zimbabwe? How about a 65,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 % inflation rate?

Nah man, I don’t want any Black people on my dollar bills. Shit is already expensive enough to buy shit with a pocket full of big faced white folks. No way I’m gonna get my monies worth with some Duke Ellington dollars in my wallet. And what Black people would we put on our denominations? I love the irony of Malcolm X on a dollar, or the humor of Richard Pryor on a $20 (rolled up to snift yayze, natch).

Chances are we will have the same Black faces we see every February – MLK Jr. and George Washington Carver. Black people need some more heroes. My choices would be Turkey Leg Jenkins or Everett Bailey? This is America people, and if we are going to devalue our dollar bills any further then at least we should have some fun with it.

You know what shit would push white over the edge? Obaamabux.


Pop Culture x Theater Of War…

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

war machine

The underwhelming sequel to ‘Iron Man’ will be available on DVD and Blu-Ray today. The further adventures of billionaire industrialist (read: weapons manufacturer) Tony Stark didn’t pack the punch of the first feature but strong supporting performances from Scarlett Johannson as Black Widow and Don Cheadle as War Machine warrant the views of fanboys in my honest opinion.

Coincidentally, Raytheon Corp., a real world industrial entity unveiled their next generation of military purposed technology. They call their design the Sarcos Exoskelton and they are less than a decade away from issuing the device into the theater of war. The exoskeltons main application will be the traversing of the Afghan mountain region for purposes of mining the mineral resources contained therein.

The design of any exoskeleton must take its inspiration from the ant. These animals have the ability to transport loads hundreds of times their own weight and like all of the species in the insect world their bodies are formed of an exoskeleton. Ants however are communal creatures for the most part whereas humans have evolved to the level where are actions are governed solely by capitalism.

I don’t know which I fret the most for our freedoms, the pilotless drone warship or the piloted mecha-soldier. I suppose they will both work in concert for a time, that is until SkyNet takes over. But by that time I’ll be dead anyhoo. So while I’m still alive and free to watch whatever movie I choose I’ll prA’li pick up a copy of ‘Iron Man 2’ from my local RedBox.

war machine

Blame It On The Goose…

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010



This Is Hip-Hop…

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

hip hop

Sometimes I forget what is Hip-Hop.

But then I remember why God made the YouTubes.

EA Sports NBA Elite Goes Live…

Monday, September 27th, 2010


In a little over a week EA Sports will unleash its NBA licensed video game on the masses. They are calling this latest installation to their franchise NBA Elite. If the gamemakers at 2K Sports have been an inspiration to the people at Electronic Arts its in how they present this game to the public. With much fanfare and hoopla (do you see what I just did?) EA Sports launched NBA Elite to a crowd of the best tastemakers and influencers in New York City.

2K Sports also held their game’s launch party the same night but I couldn’t get inside their shindig. The dude’s running the list said they couldn’t find my name. So I was left to wait outside for some of the dignitaries to float thru that could help the 2K people respekanize my internets celebrity status.

In the meantime I asked some questions to the NBA players who were exiting the limousines in front of the club. I asked Derrick Rose if he wouldn’t mind Carmelo taking more shots than him if the Bulls traded for him. To his credit Derrick said he didn’t care. I told Rajon Rondo that there was a rumor about his avatar turning the ball over frequently in the 2K game. He sneered back at me. Lulz.

Sean Price was due to perform at the 2K Sports event and I wanted to stick around for dude to get me into the party but I was getting antsy. I knew that there was liquor flowing at the EA Sports soiree and some little chickadees from the ad game I know just left the 2K party to go to the EA one. That was the spark I needed to get to EA’s event. They took over what appeared to be a former bank space and filled it with all kinds of interactive stations from gaming consoles to webcasted video players. EA Sports had the proper circus atmosphere. All they needed was me – the clown.


I sucked down hor’s d’ovaries and vodka/grapefruit drinks like I was out of my mind. I was totally nice by 9pm and I still had to find something to do with myself for the next 2.5 hours before I would go in to tape the Combat Jack Radio Show. So I kept throwing back the vodka mixes, even after they had run out of Stoli I went in with the Svedka. Trays of shrimp cocktail danced around me with the shrimp so big you could ride them home.

The room was spinning more than a Tim Hardaway free throw but I hung tough. I mean, alcohol… Its. What. I. Do. The atmosphere felt like a high school reunion. 40 Diesel was in effect. Meka and LowKey. Clark Kent, Mos Def, Treach, 9th Wonder and J-Cole doing a mini-set. EA Sports doesn’t just know how to throw a party either. They kept the NBA Elite lounge open to the public all weekend. If I wasn’t nursing the massive migraine from opening night I might would have fell thru again to get a better look at the new Kevin Durant shoe EA Sports x Nike collabo.

So which game is better? EA Sports NBA Elite or NBA 2K11. Here’s my breakdown…

Launch Party

nba 2k11 NBA 2K11

elite NBA Elite ’11
Obama (open bar) throughout with free food

Attending Celebrities

nba 2k11 NBA 2K11
Derrick Rose, Rajon Rondo

elite NBA Elite ’11
Vashtie Kola FTW

Fanboy Extras

nba 2k11 NBA 2K11
Douchehammer security

elite NBA Elite ’11
Free haircuts and a photo booth.

Clearly the best game of all is the EA Sports retro version of NBA JAM.

When you consider the pure artistry of the game of basketball…

Dr.J > Michael Jordan

dr. j