dallaspenn.com

You can credit Ralph Lauren with at least making the Native American arts a staple of his Americana design. I don’t know if that forced us to consider their plight anymore than we should have already but, as a supremacist apologist might utter, it is what it is.

I had to show you one of my star acquisitions from the 2010 holiday season. I came up on this I.T. at my usual haunt – Marshall’s. The Polo R.L. MSRP (manfacturers suggested retail price) was $495, but the Marshall’s tag was only $200. Mot people might consider that amount a veritable bargain. Not me, and definitely not Chocolate Snowflake. When I showed her the item she frowned at me and asked me if it was a woman’s sweater? Ouch, LOL.

I’m sure she knew I wanted it but she didn’t want me spending a grip for it. Neither did I so I decided to play a little game I call Marshall’s Layaway Roulette. The idea was to put the item on lay-away one (or several) times in the hopes of retrieving the item once it has been marked down in the TJX computer system. It’s tricky business because there are hell’a variables that come into play with this game.

Don’t even consider this game if the store you are playing in isn’t one of your regular haunts. You’ll miss the pick-up date and lose the item altogether. Keep in mind that you are already losing the lay-away fee (minimum $10). Don’t play the game in a store filled with hating-ass associates. Those haters won’t give you the markdown even if its in the system. Don’t play the game if you don’t know the markdown system, because you will fux that shit up for the rest of us.

The end result of the game had me winning this time. $99 for the sweater plus $20 in Marshall’s fees. You can’t put a dollar amount on all the chicanery I used to get this I.T. at that price, but that is the collateral cost of living the lifestyle. I’m gonna rock my ‘woman sweater’ to the February First Saturday at the Brooklyn Museum of Art. While I’m there I’ll go check out some of the BMA’s native American collection. Lifestylin’ on ’em FTW.