The Archives – ’85 To Infinity

October 2nd, 2006

lobandito

Say anything you want about New York City. Good and bad, it is the capital of capital because anything is possible. Not Hollywood possible, but for real. I’m not saying that L.A. isn’t real, or Chicago for that matter, or anywhere, but New York City is the place where anything is possible twenty four hours a day.

Part of the reason some of you came to this site is for that slice of life that existed in this city from 1985-1995. I feel responsible as your tour guide for that period to give you a truthful and unapologetic account of how the city dealt with itself. Crack cocaine is typically the definition for the 1980’s but in my mind the freefall of the urban landscape is way bigger than a handful of freebase. There was a concerted effort to reduce the center city to so much as rubble. It was a glimpse of post-Katrina New Orleans twenty years prior to the hurricane.

Brooklyn has since transformed itself, rising from the ashes like a phoenix. It’s hard to imagine how desperate people had become when you see condominium apartments in Brooklyn selling for upwards of three millions dollars. This is still my city. There is still a debt to be repaid that I owe to the people of New York City. The Archives will contain their real life stories. It will be a salute to the spirit of the city that still gives me life and energy.

The first story will be a shout to one of my brothers unlike any other, the incomparable TIMOTHY STONE…

GODDESS OF THE SWEET BROWN GOODNESS

October 2nd, 2006

rosario

For what seems to be one of the greatest winning streaks of all time, Mexican women have again topped the list for the most anally delicious of all females. Narrowly edging out African African Americans (the Blacks from Africa living in America) and African Americans (the Blacks living in Detroit). White women have dropped four places down because it appears that Philipino women are bolstering the score for those of Asian descent. There’s a chance that the Philipinos might give the Mexicans a run for their money so I suggest that you dudes out there brush up on your Tegalo.

We’re Winning The ‘War On Terror’…

October 2nd, 2006

rebuttlican

No big surprise to anyone who doesn’t keep his head in his azz that we have made less international friendships under this presidential administration than any previous one. The world isn’t safer or more stable and the domestic economy is shot to hell and crawling into this fourth quarter like a wounded dog. Well where is all this sunshine coming from that G DUBBZ and General Grievous KARL ROVE are finding to spread out to the people? Here it is…

REPUBLICANS ARE BRINGING SEXY BACK
!
I bet you that there are more Republicans on MySpace than there are Democrats. MySpace does great for closeted freaks and perverts. I’m not talking about your run of the mill BILL CLINTON political perversions, I’m talking love RICK JAMES Republican style. She was only 17, but she was sexy.

APPOINT DONALD RUMSFELD KING OF IRAQ
Instead of managing the Iraq War from America, G DUBBZ should appoint DONALD RUMSFELD as the soverign chief of the United Provinces of Iraq. In this new position RUMSFELD will be allowed to indiscriminately kill civilians insurgents and maintain order within the oil rich annex of the United States.

BOMBARD IRAQ WITH ‘MISSION ACCOMPLISHED’ BILLBOARDS

I’m sure there’s nothing more demoralizing to terrorists than to see that all their efforts have been for naught. Placing these billboards along the roadways from Baghdad to Falluja and all points in between will deter terrorists from placing roadside bombs and return these men to their normal vocation – driving medallion taxis in New York City.

KEEP THE PENTAGON FREE OF FISCAL WATCHDOGS
Winning the ‘War On Terror’ isn’t cheap and inexpensive. It takes generations of hard working Americans’ tax dollars and social security contributions and even then we are still short on the tab, so that means borrowing from friends.

When all else fails theres always old reliable, rinse, wash, repeat…

Abortion!

Gays!!

GOD!!!

The Monday Morning Quarterback Wk.4

October 2nd, 2006

football

I knew the Jets weren’t going to beat the Colts in the end, although I just love laterals in professional football. Who remembers this one from the California vs. Stanford game?



Speaking of laterals. Remember the Titans…



Somebody break up the Ravens! Another last minute victory over a quality opponent has this team looking like it has the eye of the tiger early in the season. I could get used to them if Air McNAIR keeps up the clutch quarterbacking a la STAUBACH or ELWAY. I may not bet against the Ravens next week.

I bombed hard this week while most of you picked up the pace. At least my Cowboys took care of business. Look out for the Redskins too. They could send the tri-state area into a frenzy of talk radio vitriol if the Giants get pwned by them.

Here’s the current tally for everybody’s scores, (+) = overall pt total.

THE DALLAS = 2 pts (12)
40 DAWG DREWLANDER = 5 pts (11)
CANDICE = 4 pts (17)
AMADEO = 3 pts (14)
TIFFANY = 6 pts (11)
PRYNSEX = 4 pts (8)
SHONQUAYSHAH = 5 pts (13)
LM = 5 pts (15)
RD = 4 pts (10)
Mr.KAMOJI = 2 pts (13)
JESSE = 3 pts (9)
SASQUATCHFART = 5 pts (9)
S DOT = 5 pts (16)
ALEX 2.0 = 3 pts (13)

For a third consecutive week the overall points leader is a girl. All I’ma say is fellas, y’all need to get your weight up.

A LETTER FROM THE MANAGEMENT

October 1st, 2006

jordan

It’s the fourth quarter kids. This is the time of the year that I live for. The crisp chill in the air is like a call to tighten up my shit. Santa is watching, of course. Mz. Peaches is watching too, you hear me?!? Mz.Peaches should host a Christmas variety show on B.E.T. Somebody get me REGGIE HUDLIN’s e-mail so I can pitch this. But back to the recognition that this is the 4Q (that’s business people talk). Some companies lose money all year long just to kill shit in the fourth quarter. MICHAEL JORDAN pwned fourth quarters. The Patriots still do. The point I’m trying to make is that this is the time of year that we put up, or we shut up. Now before you put this post in cliche purgatory I just want to say thanks to everyone that has rode with us this far, and don’t change the channel either, because you ain’t seen nothing yet…

Big shout to everyone that came to the FREEDOM Friday event for my birthday party. Shouts to C.S., RAFI, and The INTERN for holding down my Jack and Coke in the mezzanine V.I.P. section. Shouts to BILLY GENE, his wifey shorty and her girlfriend with the JANET JACKSON nipple ring pendant on the dance floor getting their Cabbage Patch and Running Man right. The theatre room was playing ‘Richard Pryor: Live On Stage’. Biggest shouts to the family from Hydra Records, BeatHustle dot com, and TURN ON Design for bringing me the cake. Y’all only need to fuck with that FREEDOM Friday party once to get turned out. Catch me next Friday.

Dukes took C.S. and I too see the ‘Color Purple’ on Broadway. Good times.

C.S. took me to the Oyster Bar restaurant and for a midnight cruise on the Hudson River. Great times.

Thanks for all of the birthday wishes.

Now let’s get it…