CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?!? (ReMix)

March 15th, 2006

Gangsta Love

I will admit to being a little disappointed in the truce that 50_CENT and GAME have brokered amongst themselves. I wanted to see some bloodshed, particularly, GAME’s death, since my favorite rock band from Brooklyn was called GAME until that rapper and his big bucks at SONY shut them down. The band is now called GAME REBELLION and I think it’s appropriate since that is what they are doing. They are singlehandedly changing the direction of the rap game, but I digress…

I had it all planned out. I was culling numbers from database websites on how many people were killed during the four days that 50’s latest album sold a reported 1.5 million copies. I was going to compare those numbers to the amount of people killed on the same four days a month prior, then a year prior. It was going to be one of the great new indictments of modern U.S. rap music. Now my weblog piece is ruined by this peace in the rap community.

50_CENT donated $150,000 dollars to the HARLEM BOYS CHOIR which amounts to approx. one penny from each unit sale of his CD/DVD. If you understand the economics of the music industry then you can appreciate how big each penny really is to the artist’s ‘take home’ monies. After SONY takes 75 percent of the sales from off the top, then INTERSCOPE comes in to smash FIFTY for twenty percent. The remaining 5 percent has to see AFTERMATH, then SHADY RECORDS before FIFTY can feed his family of administrators, lawyers, publicists, stylists and bodyguards.

The real issue that my eyes have been opened to is how modern U.S. rap music directly, and indirectly, feeds the prison industrial complex. We are witnessing a generation of youth that seriously believe that illicit activity can generate a sufficient number of funds to provide a lifestyle on par with a celebrity. It is a theme repeated ad naseum by the rap music and it’s co-defendant, video imagery. A corporate entity like VIACOM which owns MTV and holds shares in Indiana-based, EMMIS BROADCASTING would probably also be invested in the privatization of correctional facilities. Correctional facilities are a burgeoning source of labor(State Property = slavery). I am not sure which corporation owns CONDE NAST publications, but I was told that they use the Cayuga County Detention Facility(upstate New York) as their customer service center for subscription processing.

At what point will we wait for to assume control of our music and our community?

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs | 5 Comments »

DARTH VADER is the Baddest Motherfucker of All Time! (ReMix)

March 14th, 2006

the B.M.F.O.A.T.!
Here I am all juiced up to go to the Ziegfield Theater for the midnite showing of the latest STAR WARS film. My girlfriend is a movie industry cog and she hooked me up with a pass for the night. Nevermind the fact that I am going to go with one of her co-workers who is a white. Ol’ boy is cool enough with me and one time he even shared his magic brownies with me at this crazy christmas house party.

The answer is ‘yes’. I would have carried my toy lightsaber that I usually bring with me to P-FUNK concerts. The answer is ‘no’. I do not wear a jedi robe or cloak. That would just be gay. And like CAM’RON, I am ‘NO HOMO’. Plus it is the last STAR WARS movie or so we are being told by the creator of this universe, GEORGE LUCAS. He vows not to create another movie for this storyline, but I am becoming a skeptic since he is using this upcoming film to innovate cross-promotional marketing strategies that Madison Avenue has never dreamed of.

I can’t remember when any film was being hyped in such an aggressive manner. Everywhere I turn I am seeing products that have little or no connection to the film series using licensed characters and images from the film series. YODA’s face on a can of soup. OBI-WAN KENOBI on a box of cereal. DARTH VADER on a Slurpee cup. DARTH VADER would not have enjoyed a Slurpee. DARTH VADER is strictly black Colombian coffee with no sugar. From now on I will call him the B.M.F.O.A.T. because DARTH VADER is officially the baddest motherfucker of all time!

Who’s bad?!?! Most people argue that ADOLF HITLER is the B.M.F.O.A.T. and I will submit to you all that HITLER should certainly be in the top five. But when I compare records of badness, DARTH VADER has HITLER trumped hands down. First of all, HITLER was a brutal, heartless killer who slaughtered millions of my people in internment camps. DARTH VADER blew up a whole planet in Episode 4 that was easily occupied by billions of people. So VADER wins in overall death toll statistics. ADOLF HITLER was no snazzy dandy and the only people he has inspired to dress like him are the disenfranchised white that live in Nebraska or Montana or wherever the KKK is from. DARTH VADER has had all the designers from Fashion Avenue spooning his nuts for the last ten years. He’s got that whole futuristic dom thing going on complete with with the shiny codpiece, knee high black boots and cape. You can’t even get into a club in NYC if you aren’t wearing all black(yeah I know pink was all the rage last year but after people discovered that KANGAY WEST was an asshole that trend wore off). So DARTH wins again on style points.

HITLER was a charismatic speaker but that hardly counts for superpowers. DARTH VADER could choke a nigger just by closing his fingers. ‘Member that nigger he choked in the Imperial conference room because he was talking shit sideways? Imagine DARTH VADER as the CEO on the TV show ‘APPRENTICE’. Instead of firing somebody he would just put his fingers together and choke they azz.

I am sorry party people, but you have to agree, DARTH VADER is officially the baddest motherfucker of all time.

Posted in Ghetto Celebs, Social Upheaval | 1 Comment »

It Still takes a Nation of Millions… (ReMix)

March 14th, 2006

FLAV
The PUBLIC ENEMY conference at N.Y.U. was definetly one for the books(literally and figuratively). To be inside an institution like NEW YORK UNIVERSITY and to witness actual academic discourse on this album made my month. The conference examined everything that contributed to the formulation of the music. From a technical standpoint, PUBLIC ENEMY revolutionized the music industry in 1998 the way NAPSTER did in 2000.

P.E.’s production team, THE BOMB SQUAD, might sample more than fifty(50) different records to produce just one P.E. track. They culled bits and pieces of music from everywhere imaginable. JAMES BROWN, JOHN DENVER, FUNKADELIC, STEELY DAN were just a few artists, but the discography and musicology of HANK SHOCKLEE is far too complex and diverse to be limited to just that. PUBLIC ENEMY music production techniques forced record companies to hire ‘spies’. These ‘spies’ would act as snitches and would listen to rap music just to detect the records that were being sampled. The recording technology was pushed forward as well because samplers were required to layer complex quilts of music. Eight tracks would no longer suffice to hold all the song being added. Twenty-four track recording devices were developed.

From a social standpoint, PUBLIC ENEMY gave the young black teenagers a powerful voice. We were not to be considered as simply consumers or commodities for the prison industrial complex. PUBLIC ENEMY was the promise and the potential that we might finally get our forty acres(in the era of Reaganomics too!). Crack and the DeCeptiCons had New York City on lock. The overall anxiety and tension in the streets put NYC into the top 5 urban centers for murder, crime and decay. The dark side of the Force that is corporate America had to finally take notice of rap music because the themes of partying and bullshit had changed to education and self-empowerment. P.E. never compromised their politics or apologized for their blackness. PUBLIC ENEMY was like LARRY DAVIS with a bangin’ azz soundtrack.

Instead of getting caught up in a reminiscent mood and stuck in some place 17 years ago I was reminded of why I love Hip-Hop music. The sound of the drum is first a call to listen and then a call to action. At it’s best, Hip-Hop music uses the drum to wake people up and inform them with ideas that are relevant to progress. At it’s worst, Hip-Hop music abuses the drum like an evil pied piper leading the children away from their communities into the belly of the beast which is the prison industrial complex.

As I listened to the radio lastnite, I heard 50 CENT and his partner-in-crime, TONY YAYO boast and brag about their acheivements in the music industry. They spoke openly about how they would crush and dismantle any opposing rap crews that attempted to remove them from their positions as industry sales leaders. Never once did they speak of any social leaders that they had created with all of their record sales. Maybe that part was coming, but before they could get to say it they were forced to exit the radio station abruptly to avoid confrontation and gunfire. Like I said earlier, PUBLIC ENEMY never had to compromise themselves and they never ran from anyone.

It’s unfortunate that the vehicle that so many can use to make a living is being driven by those that only wish to make a killing.

There is still some great Hip-Hop music being made and the drummer is super-nice with his shit too!

Posted in Crappers | 2 Comments »

YOU CAN HATE ME NOW!!! (ReMix)

March 13th, 2006

ILLMATIC!
YOU CAN HATE ME NOW!!
Especially if you didn’t come with me to the free NAS concert at the Central Park SummerStage. How do I get to live my lifestyle when I get to the park at 3:15 and I have no ‘ins’ at the gate? How do I get to enjoy the entire show drinking free alcohol from within the V.I.P. section? Three words…

I AM HIP-HOP!

The NAS concert was too.

There was a nice little set of joints from Mr. CEE that warmed up the crowd. That TERROR SQUAD song is such a beautiful thing because it gives white another dance that they can easily follow, as opposed to that goddamned Cha-Cha slide. LEAN BACK, LEAN BACK, LEAN BACK, LEAN BACK. This way white doesn’t even have to move their feet(rest assured that there will still be some white that fuck this dance up)

There was a D.J. battle that was over before it really got started. Some Japanese cat that says he now lives in the ‘Bridge was cutting up JAY-Z’s “Give it to Me”. Mr.CEE had homeboy booed off stage for not just mis-reppin’ the ‘Bridge, but more importantly, playing a JIGGA track.

ROCK STEADY Breakers came thru and did their thing. My biggest complaint is that these old motherfuckers are still dancing like they about to pass their hat around. Let some young talent get a chance to shine! Can you Imagine Judith Jamison or Alvin Ailey not acting as teachers?

I can’t stand it when I see old fat niggas that know they should be home with a family, still running around with new NIKE sneakers on and a crispy fitted hat, chasing that young cootie-cat… uhhh, yeah, anyhoo

The great young poet, SAUL WILLIAMS, opened for NAS. I asked my boy T if he was the dude on the backside of that KANYE WEST track but my peoples said no. Damn KANYE! I thought you was the truth? How you gonna use a fake SAUL WILLIAMS? Don’t let me find out that ROC-A-FELLA got you on the ‘bronze’ medallion budget?!?

Right after a five minute delay while the Police dealt with the unruly heads that couldn’t get in, my cousin, NAS did all of our favorite tracks. Q-TIP came onstage to sing his hook from the Illmatic classic “One Love”. MOBB DEEP was allowed to shine again by combining with NAS on their collabo(who knows how to spell that word?!)”Live Nigga Rap” and by even doing their own track “Got it Twisted”. BUSTA jumped around with some of that unpredictable ‘crazywildnigga’ energy that he brings, but the best guest by far was A.Z. He and NAS’ classic tracks, “Phone Tap” and “Life’s a Bitch” were the joints that brought that esctasy noise out of the crowd. You know that collective sound that everyone makes when that song comes on that takes you back. Back into a time when your parents paid the cable bill, back before there were flavoured Dutch Masters…

ETHER
NAS killed it with “Ether” and by this time I was into my sixth white wine and my third Heinekin. Right as the song ended I yelled REWIND! I am sure that I was pretty loud and on my second and third chants I even had my section yelling with me. That’s when NAS told us that he doesn’t never do this,”but fuck it!” “FUCK JAY-Z!” I went delirious as he re-did that song. It was a great day after all. Johnny Nunez, the Latino ghetto fab photographer of the stars caught some pictures.

NAS closed the show with the track “I Can” which in my mind is as hardcore a rap song as there is. Real hard core rap music is about taking empowerment from a system that doesn’t care if you succeed or fail. Empowerment begins with knowledge of self and I love this song because of the positive re-inforcement that it can give a child(and even some adults). Now that the show was over it was time to wreak havoc in the streets.

Johnny Nunez was at the QUE Club the following night for KELIS’ birthday party. NAS came thru to show his baby boo some love. They look really happy together. I like NAS and KELIS a lot. They remind me of JAY-Z and BEYONCE, just without all the hit records.

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, T.O.N.Y. | 1 Comment »

PUFF DIDDY = King of all Jiggs (ReMix)

March 13th, 2006

DIDDY for president
The Council of Fashion Designers of America held their annual awards gala monday evening at the great New York Public Library on 42nd Street.

This years winner for ‘best menswear line’ was not some Euro fashion house or even that classic American designer, Ralph Lauren. I will give you a hint… this years’ winner was the one guy that Jennifer Lopez slept with that she didnt marry!?! You guessed it. the incomparable, near I say invincible, SEAN ‘PUFF DADDY – PUFFY – P DIDDY’ COMBS! Johnny Nunez had his camera for the CFDA after party. My favorite picture is the one with JANICE COMBS and DIDDY’s daddy, MILTON COMBS.

Just a year ago I accused the NEPTUNES production duo of signing a deal with the devil because of their presence on everything in the BillBoard Top 20. Lo and behold, it must have been DIDDY who signed that fateful contract, because he can apparently recreate himself into ANYTHING. In the last year I have seen DIDDY do everything else other than music. From running da’ band to running da’ NYC Marathon. From acting as a charming hustler in a Broadway play and then acting every bit the seasoned socialite at the Kentucky Derby. Even I have to admit that nobody works harder than this dude!

Not too long ago, PUFF was a backup dancer for FATHER MC(F.M.C. took his rap name literally. I have been told that he has more seeds than SHAWN KEMP. That would put him into double digits)

PUFF DADDY then became an all-star party promoter with JESSICA ROSENBLUM. They opened the RED ZONE club with a night called ‘Daddy’s House’. PUFF brought in a little known deejay from the Bronx that was actually CHUCK CHILLOUT’s protege. The dj’s name was FUNKMASTER FLEX. The real synergy between FLEX and PUFF would take place several years later at another westside club called TUNNEL.

In PUFF’s early years as a promoter he was an absolute dynamo and anything popping off with his name on the flyer would be hot to death. That was the case unfortunately for nine people who were trampled at the Nat Holman gynasium at City College New York. When Black folks step out to have a good time they dont care if they have to step on other Black folks to get to the party.

The truth is this… DIDDY, JESSICA and HEAVY DEE all co-promoted that event but PUFF was the only one who really took the full weight.

PUFFY’s story afterward that low point is pretty well documented from BAD BOY to B.I.G., from shiny suits to lawsuits, and through all the gunfire he still remains the premiere party promoter. Which brings me to my last thought of the day…

How sick would a VOTER REGISTRATION party be if it were hosted by DIDDY and DON KING?!?

Keep in mind that the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION will be in NYC this August.

I am getting my seersucker suit drycleaned just in case…

Posted in Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs | 4 Comments »

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