The INTERN Rolls With The BUS

February 3rd, 2006

baby intern and the BUS

The INTERN tells us his story about meeting the BUS, Pittsburgh Steeler JEROME BETTIS…

My sister and I were at the Polaris Fashion Place doing some christmas shopping. It’s like the largest mall in Ohio, when I saw the BUS waiting on line at the Taco Shack in the food court. I was like, “The BUS! Would you be willing to kiss my nephew for good luck? He was like, “Good luck for who?” I was like, “Good luck for him of course. His dad was just layed off from his gig at Best Buy and his mother is morbidly obese. You could make the difference in his life to keep him from like killing people or becoming like a raging junkie.”

JEROME chuckled and he agreed to just take the picture. I hope he gets to win the Super Bowl in his hometown, but don’t take the Steelers to cover.

B.E.T. is NOT Must See T.V.

February 2nd, 2006

reggie's world

I know that I said I was going to give REGINALD a pass for the first quarter of his reign as svengali of the jig cultural dynamo called Black Entertainment Television. But after I checked the upcoming programming schedule I could see that it was going to be some more Black Bullshit from the mount.

The first feature film B.E.T. will run this month will be ‘State Property’. The idea I suppose is to get this month started with a bang. Watch the studio gangsters shoot up your television screen on Friday with an encore?!? broadcast on Saturday evening.

Super Bowl Sunday will be the time that you want to keep the family together for B.E.T.’s attempt at cultural educational programming. For at least an hour you can enjoy the ’25 Most @#%!* Moments in Black History’. PAUL MOONEY has been as hard up for scrilla as a Detroit crack fiend since DAVE CHAPPELLE cut off his lifeline so he will host this madness. I am mad that the jigs at B.E.T. can’t think of a printable word for ‘@#%!*’. I ain’t blaming this shiite on the white man either, this is all some Black Bullshit.

Sunday will continue with the family plan programming with an airing of the Hip-Hopera flopera – Carmen. A blonde-braided BeYONCE, MEKHI PHIFER and MOS DEF ham it up for your family viewing pleasure. The ageless 40yr old-still acting as a 21yr old DA BRAT as well as the 30+yr old teenage impersonator LIL’ BOWWIZZLE will grace the small screen also in this acting debacle.

The best show to be broadcast on B.E.T. this weekend was positioned during the Super Bowl pre-game show. ‘JoJo Dancer: Your Life is Calling’ stars the great RICHARD PRYOR in a semi-biopic of his life and struggles. This is actually a really good film and I wish it were being broadcast during the week when there is a dearth of quality programming on every network station. That is why B.E.T. gets me so mad. There is good shit out here to broadcast, but they don’t have the budget or the courage. I am tired of their original programming appearing to be shot from a webcam or worse.

By the way B.E.T., I wish that you would transfer your offices from the methadone clinic on 10th Avenue so I don’t get the impression that your staffers are stoners. I’m just sayin’…

Happy Black History Month!

Politricks as Usual for the “Administration”

February 2nd, 2006

presidential H.A.M.

Just when G.DUBBZ was going to be nailed to the wall for his illegal wiretap protocol we have to watch and hear another mixtape DVD from M.C. OSAMA BIN-LADEN.

That has been the ‘Administations’ modus operandi everytime GEORGE gets in trouble. Somebody does something to divert the attentions of the media machine monolith and then the focus is lost and soon forgotten. People can say what they want about who controls the airwaves and the images therein but all I heard about back in 1998 were BILL C’s b.j.s and his taste for cigars.

monica and the cuban

The current ‘Administration’ can’t go two weeks without lying about something else. Maybe that’s the trick? BILL CLINTON wasn’t f’d up enough. If he was getting an intern b.j. like twice a month we might have forgotten about White Water and the whole weed smoking thing.

So maybe I have the president all wrong. His hallmark to his legacy will be his consistency. How he is consistently fucking up everything he touches. Who could boast that? The great part is that we have at least three-quarters of the term remaining for this president to undo fifty years of civil, social, environmental and human progress. Hot damn! Just thinking about all of that good work is liable to make the president plum tired and you know what that means?

“Crawford, fire up the barbeque pits! This prezeedentural stuff sho’ is hard work.”

SEPARATED AT BIRTH: G-DUBBZ

February 2nd, 2006

bedtime for bonzo

Read my lips… I don’t care about HUEY FREEMAN.

SANAA’s Got A Brand New Bag

February 2nd, 2006

sanaa and denzizzle

And its not called DENZIZZLE.