ENDANGERED SPECIES…

November 27th, 2007

taylor

Editor’s note: Exactly one year ago to this very day I dropped a post with the same headline. In the space of that year the only thing that has become readily apparent is that handguns are manufactured primarily for killing Black males, no matter whose hands they rest in. The comments below are from a reader who may not have seen my drop regarding my good friend and co-worker RAY BARNETT. The trend of Black males being slaughtered in America is a human crisis that must be challenged. If not by us, then by whom?

Sup, Fam? I think, somewhat-justifiably, that there’s always a tendency to think that there’s a karmic subtext to these situations when an athlete/rap star gets robbed or something bad happens to them. We’ve gotta be honest-the Pacman Joneses and Michael Vicks of the world leave an incredibly strong impression on our psyches giving the impression that these “spoiled brats” merely get what’s coming to them. Even the amount of attention that these brats get in 1) jail, 2) infamy, (and in this case) 3) death is a reflection of their privileged status-if you or I were to get shot, we’d get, at most, a sentence in the newspaper.

Still, this is tragic. I don’t know Sean Taylor. He seemed to be getting his life together, however, and doesn’t seem to fit the other prerequisites for a tragic death. No diss songs to everyone on the East Coast or tattoos with street names on his neck or making it rain in strip clubs or giving chicks STDs and dog-fighting or even flashing his Cartier watches and iced-out grill. He was in his house, doing the family thing with his lady and his seed, where he was supposed to be.

The grim, horrible statistic wins again

R.I.P. Sean Taylor

-G. ROSS

Taking One For The Team[ll]…

November 27th, 2007

reid

There’s one thing that all coaches and managers of professional sports teams share in common. The fact that they will be earning less than the players they have to direct. Understandably so as well, I don’t go to MSG to watch ISAIAH THOMAS. Even if ISAIAH was wearing a Knicks jersey I wouldn’t go to the Garden to see his old ass get pwned by dudes like CHRIS PAUL or TONY PARKER. It’s all about the players on the court and the amount of effort they exude towards winning that I pay for.

So why is it that people pay good money to bring their children to sporting events in order to boo the coach? ISAIAH THOMAS needs to upgrade his rabbi. All the fans of the television show ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ have been selling their ‘Fire Isaiah’ placards in front of MSG. What’s ISAIAH’s offense in these people’s minds? It’s more like a lack of offense from the team he coaches, and more importantly, a lack of defense. I still don’t see the Knicks quitting on their coach which is the biggest reason you fire someone from that position. And when the Knicks brass has canned ISAIAH who do we hire? JOEY from Straight Bangin’?!? Hell nahh! The internets needs him to help us sort out our 1990’s greatest rap album angst.

Now you don’t see folks in Philadelphia shelling out money for their kids to heckle the Eagles head coach. Lord knows how much the folks in Philly love to get irate too. You’ve seen the crime stats right? This is the same Philadelphia that booed the draft selection of DONOVAN McNABB. It turns out that McNABB has been the best quarterback in an Eagles uniform since SONNY JURGENSEN, or was it NORM VAN BROCKLIN. Nevermind who it was, since motherfuckers were wearing leather helmets back then anyhoo.

I suppose some people think that the Eagles head coach ANDY REID deserves a pass this season since two of his sons are in the clink. That’s crazy talk. Whatever his sons did to get put in jail I’m sure they deserved it. Rich white kids don’t go to jail unless they are extremely out of pocket. Hell, the KENNEDY’s are known to kill a bitch or two and they have never smelled the inside of a jail cell, so whatever ANDY REID’s ill seeds were convicted for you can rest assured that they have done at least ten times worse that amount.

Eagle’s fans are quick to spit their venom at their quarterback or TERRELL OWENS when their season hits the skids, but they never come after REID who has a record now of failing to capture the big game. You can’t have it both ways. It’s either the players’ responsibility to “get ‘er done”, or it’s the fault of the entire kit and caboodle when the shit goes sour. If ANDY REID isn’t fired for losing the control and motivation of his football team, he should be fired for enabling his kids to be social shitbags.

Tons of states have been adopting laws that punish derelict parents for the transgressions committed by their children. If there was ever a parent that needed to get a real life timeout I think ANDY REID should be the posterchild. No more videotape reviews after game day. No more heartfelt team meetings proclaiming DONOVBAN McNABB as the starting QB. Nothing but a ‘Ho Sit Down’ for you ANDY REID. Your fucking rich family is singlehandedly raising crime statistics in Philadelphia. They are taking the dishonest work away from the marginalized, disenfranchised residents of Philly.

tank TANK TANKERRSEN says…
“Andy Reid should kill himself. Like now.

Bring back Buddy Ryan.”


POLITRICKS 2008: I Snorted, But I Didn’t Inhale…

November 26th, 2007

obaamania

Editor’s note: Hip-HopDX’s The Ambassador tells us why she goes in for presidential candidate BARACK OBAAMA. Being a Beltway resident, I wonder if she would consider interning for the Democratic candidate? What if he promised free ganja?

I fucks with Barack Obaama. Not necessarily as a politician, but as a smile inducer. I sadly don’t know too much about his political stance…talk to me after I graduate from college about having time to read up on the political world like that. All I know is that he’s a Black guy that’s running for President who for once in my memory isn’t Al Sharpton (how the fuck do you expect me to trust you when you’re doing LoanMax ads?!). He also gets props from me for coming to speak at my campus, and every single time that he absolutely shouldn’t – Barack spits that real shit, son. Well, as much truth as a politician possibly can. Underhanded bastards.

See, I always gave Bill Clinton props because he held down the country pretty decently (if I remember correctly, I was young as shit), got us out of debt, and wasn’t hated by everybody and their mommas. And he accomplished all that shit while pulling off cheating on his wife at the workplace which also happened to be his place of residence. DAMN. And Hillary looks like one of those straight-laced broads that doesn’t play that shit, so you know he was catching some hell behind the scenes for that one. I wonder what his punishment was? Somehow I don’t think having to sleep on the White House couch would really be so bad. But, Barack still has a one-up on our boy Billy – he doesn’t deny his past shenanigans.

Shit, Barack even took a slick shot at Mr. Clinton onetime while speaking in New Hampshire. Remember way back in the day when Clinton said that he smoked but he didn’t inhale? Barack was asked if he inhaled that sweet sticky green, and his response was “I never understood that line. The point was to inhale. That was the point.” That was the most politically
correct way of saying “Ayo, Bill, you’re a waste of weed, man.”


So, keep spittin that real shit, Obama. Keep letting the people know how you went to Islamic school (better known to the white majority as “How to Blow Shit Up” school). It’s not going to get you into office, but at least you’ll get some respect and some street cred in the process.

Oh, and for all of you that are like me and are too busy with life (or reading DP Dot Com) to be bothered with learning about the candidates’ platforms: Barack is “open” to the idea of medicinal marijuana if it’s the best way to relieve pain and suffering. Holla!

ambassador The Ambassador says…
“And if you don’t know, now you know.”

Rap Dudes Be Gettin’ They Learn On…

November 26th, 2007

4 dummies

Love it or hate it, mostly hate it, BILLY X. SUNDAY + XXL Mag Dot Com = that shit. No, really.

I’m going in again on my cousins at King magazine for their photo article on your favorite rapper, Lil’ Wang. Dude talks about going BACK to school. Didn’t Wang sign to Cash Money Records when he was 9yrs old? Dude dropped out of grammar school to become a rapper? So when Wang talks about going BACK to school he is talking about going back into fourth grade or some shit. I can see Wang sitting at the baby desks with all the other fourth graders while he gets them high off Elmer’s glue. Wang got an ‘A’ for his macaroni and glitter portrait of Trina.

Someone on these threads said Wang was in college now. How does a nigga skip all of them grades and still get admitted to college? This is why you can’t trust a degree from any school south of the Mason- Dixon line. Niggas get admitted to college just on the strength of there being nothing else to do but hang out in parking lots. You can’t tell me Wang has completed the accreditation required to enter a college. How convenient for him that all paper records in New Orleans were washed away when that Black bitch of a hurricane came to town.

Okay, so fine, Wang goes to the University of Houston or some shit. The reason he choose the U of H instead of Tulane or LSU was because (his words) he likes to hang out a lot in Houston. I suppose I shouldn’t knock him too much for this since it is kind of futuristic to go to a college close to where you cop your weed from. Why make your weedcarrier cross state lines when you can just set up shop in his town? I did find it odd that Lil’ Wang tells us in the King magazine that going back to school has helped him add a swagger to his wardrobe.

King Mag – “Wang, what did you learn in school?”
Wang – “That Baby loves me when I wear tight t-shirts”
King Mag – “Anything else?”
Wang – “Yeah. Baby loves me when I don’t wear no t-shirts.”

I don’t think it’s simply enough for a rapper to go to school in order for that act to influence younger people. If a rapper says he went to school because that is where all the people are that wear $300 dollar jeans it still rings hollow and it won’t be enough to make someone stay in school.

We can assume that Young Money’s number one representative isn’t going to school to make more money. He may be going to college now to help himself become a more complete person. Why doesn’t he think his audience deserves raps about self-empowerment and the journey to enlightenment. Not through narcotics, but through a focused work ethic and studying. If you’re a Lil’ Wang stayne you deserve more than what you have been given. The question is whether or not you know that.

Master P’s son is just now going to college?!? Do you remember the rap feud that Lil’ Romeo had with Lil’ Bow Wow? I though these lil’ jigs were the same age. It turns out that Lil’ Bow Wow is damn near thirty. I think he has that shit with his kidneys that homeboy from the television show ‘Webster’ had. I’m embarrassed now for Bow Wow that he has been messing around with all these underage chicks and his ass was old enough to be their father. You know Jermaine Dupri is like sixty years old right? Homeboy sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber that NASA built especially for Dracula. Tell me when you have ever seen Jermaine out during sunlight? Exactly.

Although Lil’ Romeo will get to play ball alongside O.J. Mayo[ll], I may have to give the back to School trend edge to my nemesis Lil’ Wang. I think he and Karinne Steffans are sharing an off campus apartment together while they major in Psychology.

‘Supermanning that ho’ on Superhead > carrying weed for the next ‘Half Man, Half Amazing’

SNAKE PLISSKEN > JOHN RAMBO…

November 26th, 2007

efny

I stayed up late last night watching one of the greatest cinematic classics featuring a futuristic dystopia. ‘Escape From New York’ was a campy cult action movie when it first dropped. It was directed by JOHN CARPENTER whose claim to fame was the thriller ‘Halloween’.

In this film CARPENTER tells the story of a famous war hero turned criminal named Snake Plisken who is sent onto the prison colony of Manhattan island to rescue the president of the United States. In a scene that is so eerily omniscient of September 11th, 2001 the president’s plane has been hijacked and crashed into a skyscraper by nuclear arms anti-proliferation terrorists. Just prior to the crash the president is evacuated from the plane via an indestructible pod. Once the pod has landed the president is captured by the gang leader who runs the prison colony, the Duke of New York.

‘Escape From New York’ is fun and farcical. The movie was made in 1980 and they imagined that twenty years in the future we would still be using cassette tapes for audio recordings. The cellular phones and short wave radios were all fucking ginormous and even the government computers in the future had advanced little farther than the ENIAC machines of our grandparent’s recollection.

Despite the look of the movie being hokey and remarkably low budget for even an early 80’s flick this shit is one of my favorite joints of all time. First of all, JOHN CARPENTER is one of the GOAT filmmakers along with KUBRICK, LUCAS, SPIELBERG and my nigga JOHN STAGLIANO (peep the Buttman in Budapest series).

Secondly, this movie has a lineup of sick ass actors. KURT RUSSELL plays the lead role of Snake Plisken. FYI, RUSSELL is one of the best B movie actors in the game. He’s elevated B movies to A- minus status.

Black Moses makes an appearance as well. Before ISAAC HAYES assumed the role of the chef on South Park he played the fuck out of the Duke of New York.

When we were going all 1980’s teen wood crazy I neglected to mention my brunette babysitter ADRIENNE BARBIEU. She’s up in this piece with the tittays just as big and beautiful as ever. Wait until you see how ol’ girl gets merc’ked by the Duke. She literally has her wig peeled. This is a JOHN CARPENTER joint so you know he has to put a little something gruesome into his flicks. Just like I have to talk about sneakers and doodee.

The third important factor I love about this film was CARPENTER’s attention to NYC details. He captured a nice feel for some of New York’s long gone landmarks. Namely the Twin Towers and the old Madison Square Garden that was up by Lincoln Center.

Lastly, CARPENTER killed shit with his funky theme song. You can’t tell me this shit ain’t hardbody.

‘Escape From New York’ title track

Has anyone sampled this shit already? My nigga JOELL ORTIZ needs to get up on that joint and spit some escape from New York firestarter lyrics. And you need to NetFlix ‘Escape From New York’ so you have some good shit to hold you down on a wind-chilled weeknight.

I’ll send my DVD copy to the first person who tells me the real name of the actor who played the taxi dude that drives Snake around NYC.

efny