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The fallout from the MICHAEL VICK dog-fighting fiasco continues to haunt the city of Atlanta. The judge has sentenced VICK to nearly two years in the Fed clink. VICK’s sentence is longer than any of the co-conspirators that turned into State witnesses. As it stands VICK will prah’lee miss the entire 2009 NFL campaign as well as this year (obviously) and next.

I watched the Falcon’s owner speak during the Monday Night Football telecast and I agree totally with ARTHUR BLANK. If MICHAEL VICK let’s the fried chicken and fries takeover he won’t be coming back to the league anytime soon. All I know is that if I was in prison camp and they had an All-You-Can-Eat chicken wing buffet like they do at the Golden Corral then my ass would be coming home even fatter. As an aside, why is everyone that walks out of a Golden Corral a fucking cow?

Falcon’s coach BOBBY PETRINO has quit the team even before the season has ended. PETRINO is part of the growing fraternity of coaches who want no part of the high stakes low payoff system inside of the NFL. No one is beating the Cowboys or the Patriots for years to come and with no MICHAEL VICK the Falcons just became a lottery pick team.

Between MICHAEL VICK, DJ DRAMA and the rapper T.I., the Federal authorities in the greater Atlanta area have been pretty damn busy. Still despite the surge in Black entertainers finding the wrong side of the prison industrial complexes fences Georgia is still a bustling community for newly transplanted Black families. As a service to any DP Dot Com readers considering a relocation to the ‘A’ in the hopes that MICHAEL VICK will one day be a Falcon again, I submit to you a detailed assessment of crimes committed in Atlanta in each of the counties.

2005 Crime Statistics for the Atlanta Area

Unlike sports scores, the lower the aggregate number the greater the chances that you will be a winner.

There’s one thing that all coaches and managers of professional sports teams share in common. The fact that they will be earning less than the players they have to direct. Understandably so as well, I don’t go to MSG to watch ISAIAH THOMAS. Even if ISAIAH was wearing a Knicks jersey I wouldn’t go to the Garden to see his old ass get pwned by dudes like CHRIS PAUL or TONY PARKER. It’s all about the players on the court and the amount of effort they exude towards winning that I pay for.

So why is it that people pay good money to bring their children to sporting events in order to boo the coach? ISAIAH THOMAS needs to upgrade his rabbi. All the fans of the television show ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ have been selling their ‘Fire Isaiah’ placards in front of MSG. What’s ISAIAH’s offense in these people’s minds? It’s more like a lack of offense from the team he coaches, and more importantly, a lack of defense. I still don’t see the Knicks quitting on their coach which is the biggest reason you fire someone from that position. And when the Knicks brass has canned ISAIAH who do we hire? JOEY from Straight Bangin’?!? Hell nahh! The internets needs him to help us sort out our 1990’s greatest rap album angst.

Now you don’t see folks in Philadelphia shelling out money for their kids to heckle the Eagles head coach. Lord knows how much the folks in Philly love to get irate too. You’ve seen the crime stats right? This is the same Philadelphia that booed the draft selection of DONOVAN McNABB. It turns out that McNABB has been the best quarterback in an Eagles uniform since SONNY JURGENSEN, or was it NORM VAN BROCKLIN. Nevermind who it was, since motherfuckers were wearing leather helmets back then anyhoo.

I suppose some people think that the Eagles head coach ANDY REID deserves a pass this season since two of his sons are in the clink. That’s crazy talk. Whatever his sons did to get put in jail I’m sure they deserved it. Rich white kids don’t go to jail unless they are extremely out of pocket. Hell, the KENNEDY’s are known to kill a bitch or two and they have never smelled the inside of a jail cell, so whatever ANDY REID’s ill seeds were convicted for you can rest assured that they have done at least ten times worse that amount.

Eagle’s fans are quick to spit their venom at their quarterback or TERRELL OWENS when their season hits the skids, but they never come after REID who has a record now of failing to capture the big game. You can’t have it both ways. It’s either the players’ responsibility to “get ‘er done”, or it’s the fault of the entire kit and caboodle when the shit goes sour. If ANDY REID isn’t fired for losing the control and motivation of his football team, he should be fired for enabling his kids to be social shitbags.

Tons of states have been adopting laws that punish derelict parents for the transgressions committed by their children. If there was ever a parent that needed to get a real life timeout I think ANDY REID should be the posterchild. No more videotape reviews after game day. No more heartfelt team meetings proclaiming DONOVBAN McNABB as the starting QB. Nothing but a ‘Ho Sit Down’ for you ANDY REID. Your fucking rich family is singlehandedly raising crime statistics in Philadelphia. They are taking the dishonest work away from the marginalized, disenfranchised residents of Philly.

	TANK TANKERRSEN says… “Andy Reid should kill himself. Like now. Bring back Buddy Ryan.”