Archive for the ‘Sports are Gay’ Category

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Monday, November 5th, 2007

satch

NIKE stays in my wallet when it comes to copping shit from their Negro Leagues ‘Untold Truth’ series. They are maintaining a high level of premium leathers along with their most popular retro designs. You already know I have the JOSH GIBSON Dunks, and now I have the SATCHEL PAIGE Air Max 90’s. Once they create some JACKIE ROBINSON Air Trainer III’s the game will be over. I’m glad that NIKE showed SATCHEL PAIGE some love.

SATCHEL PAIGE is one of baseball’s most legendary players. He might be the game’s greatest pitcher of all time. SATCHEL PAIGE was able to throw two separate ballgames in a single afternoon. PAIGE wasn’t admitted into the Major Leagues until he was forty eight years old. He played professionally until his late fifties. SATCHEL was famous for his amazing array of pitches and his unmistakable quotations.

“I use my single windup, my double windup, my triple windup, my hesitation windup, my no windup. I also use my step-n-pitch-it, my submariner, my sidearmer, and my bat dodger. Man’s got to do what he’s got to do.” – (c) Satchel Paige

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Premium butter soft indigo and wheat leather with detailed stitching of the player’s name on the tongue. Just the kind of flavor and quality that SATCH would have preferred.

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Baseball’s Average Joes Stay Falling Upwards…

Sunday, November 4th, 2007

girardi

The 2006 National League’s Manager of the Year wasn’t the Met’s WILLIE RANDOLPH. Even though he energized New York City’s stepchild baseball franchise and was within one clutch hit of going to the World Series he still didn’t do enough to impress the baseball writers who vote on that shit. These are the same writers who refused to induct BUCK O’NEIL into the MLB Hall of Fame despite his lifetime of achievement. Claiming racism is too simple and too shallow for these shitbag writers.

The manager who won the 2006 award will now helm the MLB’s version of Hollywood also known as the New York Yankees, while the guy who was just calling the on field shots at Yankee Stadium will move out to Hollywood to be the skipper for the wayward west coast Dodgers. JOE GIRARDI and JOE TORRE were both pretty inglorious baseball players even though TORRE did win an N.L. MVP in 1971. TORRE’s best work was in carrying the weed for HENRY AARON during the 1960’s. Wiping down the home run champs backsweat made TORRE look official.

JOE GIRARDI grew up in Illinois and then became a player for the home team after the Cubs drafted him out of college. GIRARDI is cut from the cloth of a frustrated military leader in his demeanor and rancor. As a manager he prohibits his players from wearing any facial hair. This rule is attractive to several people like the Yankees management and also the people that like to crossdress as women. I have a personal motto which tells me not to trust any man without at least a moustache. GIRARDI might wear a dress during the off-season. He seems like a power-bottom [ll].

Only in baseball can you be handsomely rewarded for under-achieving. Both of these average joes are among the highest paid managers in the game and their record for achievement when the ownership isn’t pouring billions into the team’s payroll is well documented. Hell, TORRE couldn’t win even with MLB’s highest payroll. GIRARDI will inherit what remains of GEORGE STEINBRENNER’s vanity project and I can’t wait for his ass to be unemployed the moment after he tells GEORGE to “sit down and shut the fuck up!” like he did to the owner of the Florida Marlins.

This isn’t a drop that extols for more Black managers because Blacks don’t even play baseball anymore. At least not english speaking Blacks, and I wouldn’t dare remind a dark-skinned Dominican of their African ancestry. Dominican’s are steady trying to bring Jheri curls back in order to get the Black out of their scalps. The bigger issue is how baseball and their indentured servant sportswriters constantly recycle their mediocre personnel.

Oh and yeah, Red Sox rule bitches.

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DP Dot Com Football Pool Wk. 8 Recap…

Monday, October 29th, 2007

gipper

I need to win a few games for the Gipper.

The Patriots and the Colts are definitely on some Tecmo Bowl shit, Actually, they’re scoring at will like that old hand-held Coleco game that was a bunch of L.E.D. dots and dashes. We’ll see what is really ‘hood this weekend. I think the Colts might surprise some folks.

You know who is surprising me? The Detroit Lions and the Cleveland Browns. If these two football teams can keep up their winning ways there will be a little less domestic violence in two of America’s urban armpits. L’chaim bitches.

As we near the halfway point of the 2007-2008 NFL season the DP Dot Com Football Pool barrels ahead. Furiou$tylez maintains his overall lead at the top of the heap, but the real race I see is between superstar concert-goer and photographer Angry Citizen and longtime DP Dot Com Football Pooler Jesse. These two are tied for last amongst all poolers who have played every week. Jesse even managed to incorrectly pick every game in Week 6. This man is on his way to winning a pair of DP Dot Com NIKE Dunks.

Don’t try to play this game to lose though. Getting every pick wrong might be harder than getting every pick right. I still feel like Furiou$tylez isn’t out of my reach but I’m gonna need him to start sucking biggtime [ll]. Maybe I can get some luck from the Gipper?

the gipper The Gipper says
Here’s the DP Dot Com Football Pool leader board scoring sheet…

Furiou$tylez Is Your Daddy 64
Zilla Rocca 63
Storm Shadow says I wear 10.5 62
alex2.0_is_stuck_in_neutral 60
BurDenDer 58
Patriot Games 56
DubbleUP 55
Are1 55
Godson Across the Belly…iFux 54
Behind Bars Bengals 53
Cashus Clay 53
20/20Proof 52
Desert Sole 51
UR Getting Beat By A GYRL 51


Baseball Just Doesn’t Give a BUCK (Young Jesus Re-Up From Heaven Above)

Friday, October 26th, 2007

who gives a buck

Dear White Who Lords Over Everything and Everyone,
Just one time could you give a nigga his roses when he is still alive to smell them. BUCK O’NEIL finally makes the journey into Baseball’s Hall of Fame. Hell, television announcer VIN SCULLY’s ass was inducted into the Hall of Fame when he was still breathing and that motherfucker couldn’t hold a spoon to the nuttsachs of a JACK ROOSEVELT ROBINSON.

R.I.P. BUCK O’NEIL

What is all of this noise about concerning JOHN JORDAN ‘BUCK’ O’NEIL and his omission from the Major League Basebal Hall of Fame. BUCK must have one of the best rabbis on his home team, because I have never seen the New York Times fellate a Black man this much since they pulled their silver spoons out for MALCOLM GLADWELL’s ballsachs. Although, since MALCOLM is a tragic mulatto I guess that doesn’t really count as Black then does it?

All this liberal boohooing and handwringing is coming from the very same sportswriters that have elected NOT to vote BUCK into baseball’s prestigious Hall of Fame. Well if all of you sage and just writers really wanted this old codger to be able to smell the roses while he was still breathing you would have voted for him. No sense in giving a Black any credit while they are alive anyhoo I guess. Just look at how 3-6-MAFIA acted.

GEORGE VECSEY waxed poetically about how the sky would have opened up and baseball might have finally exorcised all of the ghosts of greatness overlooked and most times outright denied.

GEORGE needs to stop smoking that WHITNEY HOUSTON, or to keep things in a baseball perspective, stop sniffing my man DWIGHT GOODEN’s white pudding. BUCK O’NEIL is a pioneer that’s for sure, and there are many other Negro Leaguers that played the greatest pasttime with verve and skill. The Hall of Fame should recognize all of the Negro League players. For a select few of them skin color was the least of their disabilities.


RONNY ‘TURKEY LEG’ JENKINS

the 1920 stars

RONALD JENKINS was from a small Tennessee coal mining town. At the age of 16 he lost part of his left leg in a mule cart accident, but that didn’t deter him from pursuing his dream of playing baseball. He fashioned a prosthetic limb for himself made with scrap wood from the dining room table in his parents’ house. He promised his parents that one day he would return to them with a new table so that they wouldn’t have to eat dinner sitting on the floor any longer.

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RONNY was well known for his grace in the outfield, but it was his world class speed that would make him a Hall of Fame caliber Negro Leaguer. RONNY set records in the league for stolen bases during 4 consecutive seasons. He averaged more than 3 steals per game in three of those years. It wasn’t unreasonable for RONNY to score from first on an infield ground ball to the pitcher. RONNY would swipe third so often it was renamed ‘Turkey base’

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Much fuss was made of the incident where RONNY’s prosthetic leg failed during a game and he had the wherewithall to hop all the way to home plate. RONNY played for the Detroit Stars for twelve years and he came to be regarded as one of the clutch players in the league. RONNY’s smooth style on the field was complemented by his grace off the field. After his retirement he became a local celebrity in the Detroit swingdancing scene.

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EVERETT ‘BAT MAN’ BAILEY
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Of all the unsung Negro League heroes the ‘BAT MAN’ is my personal favorite. He played for the Kansas City Monarchs during the same years as BUCK and SATCHEL PAIGE did. EVERETT was no ordinary ball player because he was completely blind. A childhood disease had robbed him of his eyesight, but not of his spirit or his will to play the game. EVERETT was Kansas City’s second best pitcher next to SATCHEL PAIGE

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You ask how Everett was able to pitch despite the fact that he was 100% blind and I tell you that he was a genius. LARRY BROWN, the great Negro League catcher would yell to EVERETT, telling him if the batter was left or right-handed, tall or short. All EVERETT had to do was rear back and release his fastball. What gave EVERETT an extra level of unorthodoxy was the fact that he would release the pitch as he jumped into the air.

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Surprisingly enough, EVERETT had an extremely low rate of hit batsmen and a high number of strikeouts. Between EVERETT BAILEY and SATCHEL PAIGE you were lucky to get on base when you played the Monarchs. But the real reason that I liked the ‘BAT MAN’ so much was because he was a prolific hitter. The ‘BAT MAN’ hit over .400 for his career. Can you imagine how good he might have been if he could have seen the ball?!?

bat man

The ‘BAT MAN’ used the son of the team’s equipment manager as his assistant. He trained his ears to respond to only that voice in a crowded ballpark of thousands, maybe millions. The young man would scream out two words descriptions of the pitches that were being hurled and with that information the ‘BAT MAN’ was able to make contact with the ball. Getting around the bases was another issue and the ‘BAT MAN’ was usually replaced with a pinch runner after he had stumbled to first base and the play had been stopped. That is why the rule exists today that when a player is replaced by a pinch runner he has to leave the game.

It’s not as though I am hating on BUCK O’NEIL its just that there are many players from the Negro Leagues that have left an indelible mark on this game The fact that there aren’t too many Blacks who are into baseball now is another reason that I am loathe to bequeath an honor upon another jig sportsman. If BUCK O’NEIL could bring some of that crap music jig bling money into the stadiums then maybe it would be fine to put him in the Hall.

As it stands I do think that BUCK does deserve some kind of recognition for living to be 94 years old in racist azz Jim Crow Missouri.

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SEPARATED AT BIRTH: SHE-HULK (ReMix)

Thursday, October 25th, 2007

she hulk

SERENA is so sexy I had to do this one again.

Stay tuned for more DP Dot Com Superheroine Series drops.