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The Monday Morning Quarterback Wk.6

Monday, October 16th, 2006

cowgirls

T. to the motherfuggin’ O. biatches.

When it’s all said and done, we gon’ get ours. This was a fun week of upsets. Props to everyone that called the Panthers over the Ray-Vens. CANDICE finally came back down to Earth with only a four point week. A lot of y’all got tripped up on the Redskins too. Poor VINCE YOUNG, Black quarterbacks in the NFL might as well be RODNEY DANGERFIELD’s stepkids because they gets no respect.

Speaking of Black quarterbacks… The Giants handled their handle against Atlanta. I am going to have to start looking at the Giants in a different light if their defense can become consistent. Another Black quarterback on the skids is your boy DUANTE CULPEPPER. He lost mad weight to prepare for this season in the Orange Bowl only to be replaced by another NFC Norris castoff – JOEY HARRINGTON. Let DUANTE be a lesson to all of us when propositioning a hooker on a chartered yacht. Sometimes it’s far better to just pay the fare, freebies usually come with the clap, and I’m not talking applause.

We all know the drill by now I hope. Your composite score is still in parentheses.

THE DALLAS – 5 pts (22)
CANDICE = 4 pts (28)
TIFFANY = 4 pts (21)
40 HAJI SHEIKH a/k/a Mr. JENNIFER BEALS = 2 pts (19)
LM = 3 pts (24)
AMADEO = 2 pts (21)
SKAGGER VANCE = 3 pts (8)
JESSE = 5 pts (19)
SHONQUAYSHAH= 4 pts (23)
Mr.KAMOJI = 5 pts (24)
EL A IN THE D = 4 pts (15)
PRYNSEX = 2 pts (16)
S DOT = 3 pts (25)
SASQUATCHFART = 3 pts (18)
ALEX2.0 = 4 pts (24)
RD = 5 pts (21)

CANDICE still rules the roost, but only by a whisker. I had expected LM to be in the lead by now and if he wasn’t rolling with the ‘Skins so tough he might have a few more points. Watch out for KAMOJI, ALEX2.0, S DOT and SHONQUAYSHAH. If SKAGGER VANCE sticks around for a few more weeks he’ll be up in the pack as well.

This is about to get really fun like in NASCAR when there is a pack of folks chasing the leader. I see myself in the back of the pack just waiting for some of you fools to blow a tire and spin out(AMADEO). At some point I will have to go against my Cowboys if I want to win this pool. It’s not like I need another pair of Air Max either, it’s just that I will enjoy beating y’all.

Posted in Sports are Gay | 10 Comments »

The DP dot com Football Pool (Wk 6)

Thursday, October 12th, 2006

ouch

The good news is that we will know in a few days if SNICKERS is willing to sponsor the pool. I really hope they do because the prototype sneakers that I designed at the NIKE studio called the Air Max 1 ‘SNICKERS’ look fiiiiyah! I used the colors from the candy bar wrapper in a premium leather. I’m almost tempted to buy them for myself. So we’ll see what happens…

Figures the week that The Ray-vens aren’t pooling with us they decide to take the fall. There’ll be a few more where that came from AMADEO so don’t start sizing up your Super Bowl ring just yet. The first quarter of the season is in the rear view mirror and what I’ve learned is that the NFL is still the most unpredictable, frustrating, energetic way to spend a Sunday afternoon. We should get together at the sports bar in Park Slope one Sunday and talk shit. That might be tough for some of you that don’t live in NYC, but for those of you that do I am looking at November 5th. Holler bizzle.

This week’s lineup look fairly simple which means that we should all come out of this one seven for seven. Week 6 is for me to provide a pyschoanalysis on why I choose my picks. Let’s see what the lineup looks like…

NY GIANTS @ ATLANTA FALCONS
The Giants are feeling realy good about themselves which means its time for them to sputter again. MICHAEL VICK does to the Giants what MICHAEL JORDAN used to do to the Knicks. School is in session, Giants get a hungerectomy.

MIAMI DOLPHINS @ NY JETS
After getting bitch slapped by Jacksonville, the Jets need a little ‘get right’ medicine. The ‘Fins are like Viagara made out of chewable Flintstones vitamins for AFC East teams. Hell, for the league.

HOUSTON TEXANS @ DALLAS COWBOYS
The Cowboys need this win to stay in the mix for the NFC East crown. The Texans are already counting the days until which they can go back on vacation.

TENNESSEE TITANS @ WASHINGTON REDSKINS
After that loss last weekend the ‘Skins need to rebound in a major way. Unfortunately, they don’t.

CAROLINA PANTHERS @ BALTIMORE RAVENS
I’d love to say that the Ray-vens take another on the chin this weekend , but I think they will manage to win this one late in the game. Carolina has yet to beat someone substancialiscious.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
All you Philly fans are prah’lee still drunk from last weekend. So is your team. A perfect oppurtunity for the Saints to eke out another home win in the swamp.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS @ PITTSBURGH STEELERS
Kansas City has been surprisingly decent, props to TONY’s KANSAS CITY. BEN ROTHELISBERGER and the Steelers have sucked ass mightily. I’d like to think that HERM EDWARDS could will his boys to a win in this one, but that’d just be crazy. I’m not crazy.

Cross your fingers in the hopes that we get SNICKERS to underwrite our NFL football pool, but in any case the winner will still get a DP dot com prize pack of goodies and a new pair of kicks.

SATISFECTELLENT!

snickers

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Sports are Gay | 22 Comments »

COREY LIDLE Does Not Care About Hip-Hop Honors Week…

Wednesday, October 11th, 2006

lidle

Oh, so now you humps are gonna turn your back on me?!? If I was BYRON CRAWFORD you’d still read my shit, but NOOOOOOOO! I can’t say anything mildly inappropriate because you all are too pussy-whipped to handle the truth. Face it, this is Hip-Hop Honors week and if anybody wants to pop their collar by doing something that isn’t Hip-Hop related they will draw the ire of this site.

When the news first broke that someone had crashed a single engine Cessna plane into a high rise building on Manhattan’s upper-east side I thought that maybe this was GOD’s way of killing off a few privileged white folks simultaneously. Manhattan’s upper east-side contains what may be the city’s priciest real estate and we all know that only rich white folks like to fly around in little deathbird airplanes. Later on I found out that the pilot was Yankees journeyman reliever COREY LIDLE. No wonder the entire league is mourning his death, he’s pitched for EVERY team in the league.

COREY LIDLE had the whole baseball off-season to go out and kill himself and a few of his friends. There’s the always popular speeding sportscar accident. The aquamarine version of that is the ill-fated fishing trip. Hell, he could just go hunting with DICK CHENEY. But to kill himself in this manner during Hip-Hop Honors week shows a blatant disregard for the achievements of the Wu Tang Clan. Shame on a nigga named COREY LIDLE!

This reminds me of when THURMAN MUNSON got picked off base by the big guy up in the sky. I knew THURMAN MUNSON, I respected THURMAN MUNSON, and you, COREY LIDLE, are no THUMAN MUNSON.

thurm and billy

Posted in Black Bullshit, Ghetto Celebs, Sports are Gay, T.O.N.Y. | 10 Comments »

DEREK JETER Does Not Care About Hip-Hop Honors Week…

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006

jeet

My homie ALEX2.0 asked what was up with the Jankees going out like trout in the baseball playoffs. Like your mans-n-them NAS said, “It Ain’t Hard To Tell“. All the recent success that club has had revolved around a thoroughbred pitching staff. Steroids didn’t hurt CLEMENS run in NYC either. The Yankees got their skirt lifted up by a hardbody Detroit team. How dismal has shit become in Yankeeville? DEREK JETER is back to finger banging sweet young white meat in the off-season instead of his man GAY ROD.

I don’t like them dudes like that either, but even I was embarrassed for the Puerto Rican princess ALEX RODRIGUEZ. He was struck out on a called third strike with the bases loaded!?! Not one of those monumental at-bats where several balls are fouled off consecutively and then the pitcher pulls out a mean backdoor slider that you swing over because the count is full and your’e looking out for the high, hard cheese. This nigga got caught with the bat on his shoulder watching a lazy curveball.

So now during VH-1’s Hip-Hop Honors week the dream of another Subway Series in the home of Hip-Hop has been derailed because of mismanagement on the player personnel level. The Yankees payroll is too ridiculous to not have any real pitchers on their staff, but what else would you expect when feminine hygiene products cost what they do?

who gives a buck

R.I.P. BUCK
Over the weekend we lost a friend to the website. JOHN JORDAN ‘BUCK’ O’NEILL has finally retired to that great big ballpark in the sky. BUCK O’NEILL lived a life that was equal parts satisfying and unpretentious. I truly appreciate all the players from the Negro League era for being the foundations that REGGIE JACKSON, BOB GIBSON, LOU WHITAKER, MOOKIE WILSON, et al, could stand on. I imagine now that BUCK is deceased there will be some slick obit delivered from one of the baseball writers that denied him his final glorious at-bat in the MLB Hall of Fame. White supremacy denied some of baseball’s best players the chance to give their gift to the world. White supremacy stills puts it’s boot on their throat even when they are over 90 years old.

We see you out there BUCK, and we know that you and JOSH and SATCHEL and MOSES are still playing day/night doubleheaders.

Peace.

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, Sports are Gay, When I Reminisce... | 8 Comments »

OAKTOWN STAND UP!?!

Tuesday, October 10th, 2006

reggie

Other than my New York Mets, the Major League Baseball playoffs have become the representation for some long forgotten ‘hoods. When I think of Detroit, St. Louis and Oakland I think of three urban centres that didn’t even get any money during the BILL CLINTON era so you can only imagine how forgotten they are under the son of a BUSH regime.

I remember visiting Detroit in 2003 and peeping how many homeless Black men there were. Detroit was so fucked up that I remember seeing a vacant office building tha!t had once housed a Foot Locker store at the ground floor, and the goddamned signage was falling off the facade. What kind of godforsaken city are you living in where the niggas let the sneaker store go out of business?

These were vibrant and vital areas to the growth of Hip-Hop as an artistic movement and I thought I should take a moment to highlight to highlight some of the artists and musicians that made these cities special.

TOO SHORT
This dude was the blueprint for the independent distribution effort that leads to a major label deal. Original TOO SHORT cassette tapes sell on eBay for upwards of $200 dollars. That’s major playin’.

TRICK TRICK
Fuck what you heard, this dude is one of the realest to ever grab a mic. Miami’s TRICK DADDY found out the hard way that these Detroit boys don’t play. When I was in Detroit to interview EMINEM for his mega-concert at Ford Field I ran into TRICK TRICK and his crew. In a short time they let me see who really runs the ‘D’.

NELLY
The only things that come from St. Louis are queers and beer (nullus to BOL). Your boy NELSON got on a DWIGHT GOODEN throwback in this video. Clairvoyant? I think so.

Posted in Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, Social Upheaval, Sports are Gay, When I Reminisce... | 5 Comments »

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