Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

BOSTON = RETAHHDS

Friday, February 23rd, 2007

baahstan

A picture is worth a thousand words…

Before I get into the stupidity of Bostonians I think that it would only be proper for me to shout out and R.I.P. the family of NBA Tight Pants legend DENNIS JOHNSON. And just when lightskint brothers were re-emerging as the paradigm for Blackness we lose an ambassador from the redboned contingent. In honor of Mr.JOHNSON I will not shave my beard when the auburn red hairs begin to appear as they are wont to do (no TIM HARDAWAY shower video).

R.I.P. D.J.

It wasn’t enough for the Boston government to be pwned by two dirty Clipsters and their Lite Brite signs as they would have liked us all to believe, but the real issue that I had with the debacle up north was that it was an egregious waste of homeland security funds. This was the equivalent clusterfuck of sending everyone to Home Depot to buy scotch tape and bubble wrap. The real hoax was the fact that the authorities decided to run a fire drill with taxpayers time and money.

So the fallout from these fake bombs continues as Turner Broadcasting forces the head of Cartoon Network to empty his office
. I don’t want this dude to resign because there isn’t any programming on television that consistently entertains me like the Cartoon Network does. The folks over there brought us Sealab, Space Ghost: Coast to Coast, Stroker and HoopThe Brak Show, Minoriteam, Robot Chicken, and my new favorite show of all time, Squidbillies. Let’s not forget that Cartoon Network had the balls to run the Boondocks series when outlets like B.E.T. were too busy kissing that T.I. azz to broadcast anything that challenged supremacy.

If you want something progressive to do before you go on your media blackout like me then send an e-mail to the Turner Broadcasting T.I. MARK LAZARUS (LAZARUS? And some of y’all thought T.I. was a joke) and tell him to decline the resignation of Cartoon Network’s JIM SAMPLES.

Party for your right to fight.
mark.lazarus@turner.com (9-2-5)
contact@mediavillage.com (side gig)

baahstan

Cheating = The All-American Business Model

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

nascar

Last week the news wires posted a story about some NASCAR racing team using a jet fuel deriviative in their car’s engine. The additive helped the engine run faster and produce more horsepower. To keep it simple, the niggas gave their car steroids.

This doesn’t surprise me since professional sports in the United States is an outgrowth of the culture of America’s capitalism. Cheating was always part of the American business model. Only recently have we seen the exposure and unraveling of the model on a grand scale what with the collapse of Enron and Worldcom, the scandals involving major league baseball’s great players and the entire modus operandi of the BUSH Administration.

I found an article in this past Sunday’s New York Times Magazine interesting because it describes the corporate culture of Japanese auto maker Toyota and it exemplifies why companies like Toyota and Google and Apple are able to thrive and grow in today’s consumer markets while everyone that is stuck in the old model of cheating can no longer win. There is one thing that means everything to a consumer today and if you can’t provide that service there is no amount of chicanery that will save your business. You must connect the consumer to their desire.

Toyota isn’t the number one auto manufacturer because they make the best cars, although they arguably do. Toyota is number one because they represent all the things that a car consumer desires. Affordability, luxury, gas mileage, environmental considerations, they cover all the emotional bases when they market their vehicles. No amount of cheating will make General Motors a more profitable company until they steal Toyota’s entire playbook.

Incidentally, the car that DARRELL WALTRIP’s team was using to cheat with at the Daytona 500 was a Toyota. And Rome wept…

R.I.P. To The Negro Network… And Who The Fuck Cares?!?

Thursday, February 15th, 2007

b.e.t.

If you work on the tenth floor at 555 West 57th Street I suggest that you start looking through the classified ads before you do your usual morning fuckery. In a few months I predict that Black Entertainment Television will be carrying the weed for lesser Viacom networks like MTV Brazil or Nickelodeon New Zealand. B.E.T. stopped being relevant a long time ago but the final death knell was sounded this week.

When the news came down that B.E.T. was creating it’s first original programming series and that the series was going to viewed on Viacom sister network VH-1, I knew it was a wrap for the old Negro Network. It’s nothing new for networks to share their programming. Look at how Disney made ABC give Monday Night Football over to ESPN. The understanding is that ESPN has a hardbody sports clientele that would support the MNF broadcasts wholeheartedly. So then why do the head honchos at Viacom think that VH-1 would serve as a better platform than simply B.E.T.? It’s because the program is a dramatic series focusing on the lifestyle of a Hip-Hop music mogul.

And could it be all of the rap music related programming that already has Hip-Hop fans tuning into VH-1? From ‘Flavor of Love’ to ‘I Love New York’ on to ‘Ice T’s Rap School’ and now currently the most important program in Hip-Hop history… The outrageously popular ‘ego trips white rapper show’. This shit is so important to Hip-Hop right now that RAFI from OhWord dot com had to shut down an IM chat with me because the show was coming on. Fuck DVR’ing that shit, the show has to be watched and discussed in real time. Suffice to say I haven’t seen one episode yet. I should take the advice of the Village Voice blogger and just give rap music back to the whites. It’s under this umbrella that B.E.T. is creating their show that they will ultimately give to VH-1.

Blame the previous producers of programming at the Negro Network for creating a block of shows that appeal to only a 13yr. old to 19yr. old demographic. It wasn’t totally their fault either since most of the music that is performed by negroes is designed to be trendy temporary pop music. Even 106th & Park seems more immature than T.R.L. The kids seem almost prepubescent. Somebody keep your eye out for ROBERT SYLVESTER KELLY. This is now the audience that essentially occupies the airwaves and message boards for Black Entertainment Television. Viacom doesn’t believe in them as a suitable or viable consumer base and they want to tap into the more mature audience that frequents VH-1.

I still feel a little bad for B.E.T. I know a lot of folks that work over there and they aren’t the type of people that can do much of anything else except maybe work at the DMV or the cashier station at Mickey Dees. These fools are going to be added to the already burgeoning unemployment pool in the entertainment sector thanks to MTV getting rid of some of its flotsam and jetsam. Again, I send this post out to all the cool people that I know at Black Entertainment Television. Good people like exec producer STEVEN HILL, and…

Damn, I don’t know of any other cool folks at B.E.T.

CONGOLESE KIDS… AMERICAN GUNS…

Wednesday, February 14th, 2007

gully kids

There are times that I realize how safe and ultimately disconnected I actually am here behind my computer. I can spit fire upon devils and dimwits with equal aplomb. Showing both parties the underside of my arse on frequent occasion. It makes me feel smart and victorious. I imagine myself to be worldly and progressive. As long as I keep the rose colored tint on my monitor I don’t ever have to see my reflection and how foolish I truly am.

When I was mining the internets for the images that I abscond with from various locales and URL’s I came across the picture posted above. The caption was interesting in that it described an area in Africa that I had no knowledge of the U.S. being involved in. Somalia, Ethiopia, Tanzania, Zimbabwe, Egypt, the list goes on and on, but there was no Congo mentioned in my mind’s recollection. What resource did Congo contain that would intrigue the United States? It must be diamonds. Or maybe it’s gold. I pray for the people of Congo that is isn’t oil because you see the graveyard that Iraq has become. To my surprise and then my dismay I learned the material that has made the Congo the new millenium’s ‘Killing Fields’.

Coltan is the compound name for the minerals columbite and tantalite. This combination forms a metallic ore that is used in the creation of capacitors for electronic equipment like cell phones, computers, video games and personal audio devices. The surge in demand for these items has fueled the mining exploitation and civil war in the Congo. The United States provided the military training and arms for the Rwandan guerilla forces that would invade the Congo and start the war. The civil war continues unabated after nearly four million people have been killed because of it. Forget about Iraq, and don’t even mention Darfur, there is a civil war being fought right now and the blood is on your hands because it’s inside your handheld PDA. The blood in on my hands as well as I type away on my laptop.

Gotdamn this capitalist devil tricks me to dance with him at every turn. I can’t escape his clutch and I don’t think that I want to. I’m not hardbody enough to live my life without watching television or drinking alcohol or giving a prostitute forty fucking dollars. The only way for me to save the Earth would be for me to kill myself and permanently remove my carbon footprint from the globe, but that would suck since I have some kick azz NetFlix movies coming to my house. I tried to stop supporting diamonds that didn’t have the Kymberli certificate until I learned that diamonds are so easily smuggled across borders that even one with a certificate is prah’lee from a conflict region. I try to be a good person too by not staring at retarded people directly into their eyes. It’s difficult and when they catch me I look away quickly.

I would like to be some kind of hero to the people, but in all honesty I am as shallow and lazy as the worst person. If I had to choose between my comfort and the convenience of communication that my computer and cell phone provide and whether or not a few hundred booty scratchers get to see another morrow… They should do like RON JEREMY and kiss their azzes goodbye. I’m not courageous or commendable enough to care about some people that I will prah’lee never meet. Now I see why white is always throwing money around to SALLY STRUTHERS and the whatnot. I’m starting to feel the guilt that privileges have to deal with. I will give a bum on the subway a dollar tomorrow and pray that this feeling goes away.

Oh, and yeah, KILL YO’ FUCKIN’ iPOD!

THINGS FALL APART…

Sunday, February 11th, 2007

just us

The SEAN BELL case was a perfect storm if ever I thought I saw one. It involved poor people and well-armed overly zealous cops. The victims were totally profiled and targeted by these cops and the final result was amazing in that all the victims weren’t killed. The intensity that the police then brought into the community in order to discredit these victims was classic supremacist terrorism.

I was anxious to see what would happen when the remaining victims recovered from their gunshot wounds. Would their recollection be the damning accounts to send these devil cops back to hell? We wrote, we protested, we marched and secretly we prayed. If we could establish our value within the system of supremacy, then maybe we could convince our brothers and sisters of their own self worth. This was the beautiful dream.

As the victims recovered and returned to their communities it became painful and brutally honest to see that one of the victims had no more consideration for SEAN BELL, then SEAN BELL would have had for a remote stranger. TRENT BENEFIELD comes from the safe southeast Queens New York neighborhood as FISTY SCENT. For him and others in the ‘hood that have been marginalized the ethos of ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’ is valid and somewhat progressive. TRENT BENEFIELD is now the million dollar man in his southside neighborhood.

My folks at PARDONMEDUKE dot com found TRENT’s MySpace page. Go peep some of the images of him lavishing himself with his new found fortune. These are the people that I wrote, protested and marched for. Ultimately, these are the type of people that we should all pray for. The folks that think they have only two options… Get Rich or Die Trying.

foolio