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The DP Dot Com Football Pool (Wk 15)

Thursday, December 14th, 2006

dallas texans

First off, peace out to LAMAR HUNT. Old boy was part of the O.G. NFL Illuminati and he even coined the term ‘Super Bowl’. Plus, how gully is the name LAMAR for a white?

Yes, yes, y’all. This is what you came here for – crunch time. There are only three weeks left to play in the football season and the pool is starting to tighten up. Just try to imagine everyone within three points of each other for week 17?!? A lot of y’all will be going against your so called favorites on that week. Maybe even AMADEO.

This internets thing has your boy going crazier than Gnarls Barkley over here, plus my lady is starting to throw me shade because I am hugged up on the laptop more than her lap top. Somethings going to have to give. It may be time for an intervention or some shit. The one guy I was gonna turn to to get me out of the house and on the handball court turns out to be a webhead too. LM, thanks as always for the support. It will kind of suck if you win the football pool since you have given me so much money for DP Dot Com projects. By the way, at the end of football season we will have a new contest called cRap Music Fantasy League. If you know anything about cRap music and/or you wan’t to stay connected to the site this will be the next jumpoff.

This is no time to lose focus. You have these three weeks to come up in the game and win a pair of custom DP Dot Com NIKE I.D. shoes. These joints aren’t even available on the internets. I am having them designed at a special lab in lower Manhattan. Exclusive leathers in the colors of your favorite team or of your choosing. It’s going down like that for whoever wins this pool.

***Heavy Roller Allowances are still in effect***
ESBEE (+5) per pick
JESSE (+4) per pick
J trademeark(+3) per pick
Everybody else (+1) per pick

***The first pool game this weekend is on Saturday night. Don’t sleep because you will be slipping.***

CHEA!

DALLAS COWBOYS @ ATLANTA FALCONS
RON MEXICO meets ROMO. Atlanta better have on some protection.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS @ TENNESSEE TITANS
VINCE YOUNG has got a whole lot of people looking even dumber than they claim he was.

MIAMI DOLPHINS @ BUFFALO BILLS
The ‘Fins are typically 0 for December.

NEW YORK JETS @ MINNESOTA VIKINGS
Jets should rebound from last week’s debacle. I like saying the word debacle.

WASHINGTON REDSKINS @ NEW ORLEANS
I hate you JOE GIBBS, but if you win this one for me…

PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ CAROLINA PANTHERS
Back to Hell RAE CARRUTH.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES @ NEW YORK GIANTS
JEFF GAYCIA and MICHAEL GAYHANDS meet up after the game at the Stonewall Inn. Don’t even ask me how I know to say that.

BONUS POINTS * HEAVY ROLLER * BONUS POINTS

Who has the most passing yards this weekend?
BRETT FAVRE or DREW BREES?

Who records the most sacks this weekend?
JASON TAYLOR or JULIUS PEPPERS?

Will KANSAS CITY win one for the Gipper?
YES or NO

Total combined score for TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS @ CHICAGO BEARS
OVER or UNDER 37 pts

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Fashion Faux Pas, Sneaker Fiends United, Sports are Gay, The Addict | 21 Comments »

Why You Hate The GAME?!?

Thursday, December 7th, 2006

gayme

While most of the East coast is embroiled in the soap opera story of Jay-Z and Jim Jones (no Cam’Ron), there has been a much better story developing out on the West coast. It seems that all the rap acts that are based in L.A. are in decline. From Snoop Dogg to G-Unit and everything else on the Aftermath imprint is mired in a slump. Everything except GAYME. Two years ago this time there wasn’t anything that came from the Aftermath/Shady/G-Unit camp that wasn’t a certified hit. Why have these commercialized gangsters declined, yet GAYME seems stronger than ever?

Mediocre projects from G-Unit affiliates like Tony Yayo and Lloyd Banks have hurt G-Unit’s juggernaut image. The fact that Mobb Deep is in their forties and they are still riding on the subway like teenagers was an image not lost on… the teenagers. G-Unit seems to be ever expanding its artist roster, but less and less product is escaping the sound booth. Spider Loc? M.O.P.?! Olivia?!? Fisty Scent appeared to be the loser with his public battle with Piddy even though the two are proclaiming peace in the streets. What we are seeing firsthand is the crumbling of a hastily built cRap music empire. Someone at G-Unit needs to wise up and sign Ja-Rule and ASHANTI just to remind these guys how to make hit records.

Meanwhile, GAYME exits 2006 with a record more passionate about Hip-Hop than Jay-Z’s ‘Kingdome Come’ and more focused lyrically than the Clipse’s ‘Hell Hath No Fury’. Plus GAYME didn’t recycle any sampled music from his previous CD ‘The Documentary’ either. Someone could argue that GAYME is the best rapper out right now with no public images of him tongue kissing another man. Hate it or love it the underdogs on top. How much you wanna bet that Fisty wishes GAYME were still down with G-Unit?

fisty and gayme

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Ghetto Celebs | 21 Comments »

Black Elegance Magazine = More Black Bullshit

Tuesday, December 5th, 2006

bullshiite

Black Elegance magazine is like the bastard stepchild of Essence. The stepchild that was sired from a woman with shriveled ovaries. As such, B.E. doesn’t secure A-list celebrities when they are A-list. The trajectory is either early or well after. They usually sell the most when Essence has already sold out. They don’t make the kind of money that Essence makes from ad revenue because they don’t have that machinery behind them as yet. What they do have is a staff of people that are willing to give of their time and their skillsets doing the things they love – writing articles, styling artists and taking photographs. Folks understand that this time is being traded up for the credit and connections that come from building a brand.

Anyhoo, most magazines, even the crappy ones host a launch party where their staff gets a moment to exhale and preview their collective work before the magazine is released to the public. It’s a chance to hobnob and network with other industry people as well. Why do you think that the Editor in Chief at B.E. didn’t invite staffers to the launch event after having them work on the magazine for free. Prah’lee because she had no intentions of honoring the sisterhood agreement she made with them. The people at Black Elegance are just as empty and vapid as the staff at Essence. I had a meeting at the Essence corporate offices with two V.P.’s and four editors and they all agreed that Black Women did not know OR CARE about what the ‘Black Code’ meant. Forget how these magazines treat their staffers for a moment and recognize that their view of their readership is even more disgusting.

With HIV/AIDS still a scourge in America and to African American women more than ever Essence wants to give you a detailed essay on the swinger sex clubs in your neighborhood. Essence and Black Elegance have long ago left the stance of progressive empowerment for women of color. You are only a customer now and they intend to keep you shopping. Essence won’t stop until you are emotionally and financially bankrupt. Their articles claim to tell you what men think, or why he cheats, or why you should. Nothing describes the preservation of the family unit so I should assume that it doesn’t exist in Black families. It does and Essence and Black Elegance have an investment in the opposite. That is why I am asking you not to vote for them this holiday season.

We vote every single day, not just on the first Tuesday in November. We vote every time we go to the grocery store and buy a loaf of bread or a tube of toothpaste. Our dollars co-sign our trust in brands and products that we think will help our quality of life. Please don’t vote for either Essence or Black Elegance since these brands have betrayed the public trust.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Jig Lit Review, Social Upheaval | 17 Comments »

KIMORA LEE SIMMONS Is A Raging Anti-Semite

Sunday, December 3rd, 2006

kimora

While KIMORA LEE and RUSSELL SIMMONS were touring through the African nation the Republic of Botswana to visit the diamond mines that the T.I.’s have on smash KIMORA was overheard to be complaining about the body odor’s of the local people.

Hasn’t RUSSELL told KIMORA about the tolerance that you must have for all peoples? The people that live in Botswana are some of the poorest, most downtrodden folks on the planet. Famine, drought, disease and AIDS give them one of the lowest rates of mortality and all KIMORA can think about doing is selling her Baby Phat perfume. I can’t wait for her and RUSSELL to return to New York and try to sell me their Def Jam Jewelry for Christmas. The one thing that KIMORA has learned from RUSSELL is how to hustle people.

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, C.R.E.A.M., Ghetto Celebs | 4 Comments »

JAY-Z IS LIKE THE RAP VIAGRA…

Saturday, December 2nd, 2006

jay diddy

First off, nullus to the title of this post…

I will admit to being one of the many people that were nonplussed with the latest CD released by Jay-Z. Even with some of the bright spots contained on the disk it still seems to lack a passion for Hip-Hop that he has shown throughout his career. Funny how I find myself pining for Jigger to quote some B.I.G. lyrics. That notwithstanding, the album was still an event that Hip-Hop has never seen before. An almost forty year old man releases a cRap record that the streets (read: internets and Brooklyn) goes crazy for. If you didn’t buy it, you certainly downloaded it and you definitely got on the internets and discussed it. Prior to this record Hip-Hop music had never been marketed to consumer older than thirteen. It has become popular music and as such it occupies the space in peoples minds of permenant summer vacation, conspicuous consumpotion and no responsibility.

Think about it. When have you heard someone rap about personal responsibility when in regard to spending money. The same guy who told us that ‘Money Ain’t A Thing’ is now telling you to save your champagne money to buy a house. Too bad that most of his fan base that wasn’t wealthy to begin with have already put themselves in a position to never owning a home anyhoo. I still welcome the change though. Maybe now we’ll hear songs about checking both ways before you cross the street and not running through the house with a pair of scissors. It’s about time cRappers assumed the responsibility for moving the crowd. If being responsible means being an old head then I don’t want to be right. I’m not sure exactly what I just said, it must be one of those streams-of-conciousness rants.

Change clothes if you can you losers because Jay is back to give a swagger to all these old men that are still trying to relive their youth. This is why we are calling Jiggerman the cRap music industry’s Viagra. Just think about all the old head rappers that we can hope to hear from in the near future thanks to Jay-Z bringing sexy back to senior citizens…

nas NAS
Say what you want to about the baby car seat in the Bentley you are STILL gonna listen to this entire album.

And I don’t even think it was a Bentley either.

fisty FISTY SCENT
Fisty know damn well his azz is closer to forty then he is to thirty. No matter that, he still creates the best urban safari tours on CD and you will buy it just to hear him spit shit at Gayme.

crack FAT JOE
One of these years Crack is gonna make a multi-platinum record. How much you wanna bet it will have some salsa slow jams sung in spanglish?

J.D. JERMAINE DUPRI
Quiet as its kept, J.D. is older than JANET JACKSON.

short dog TOO SHORT
Pimping is a lifestyle that means you do it for life. Short Dog rhymed like an old head from the start with his slow cadence and Oakland drawl.

ice ICE T
Speaking of pimping, how the hell has this dude managed to remain relevant into his 50’s?

ll cool j LL COOL J
This will be the most interesting project of all the old head CD’s being released in the near future. LL was a pop music superstar twenty years ago. Can he ascend to the top again? If he does he will owe Jigger a round of Budweisers.
ROC-A-FELLA y’all

jay

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Ghetto Celebs | 8 Comments »

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