Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

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EUGENICS ARE FUN FOR EVERYONE…

Wednesday, September 13th, 2006

total recall

The big deal to me about ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGAR’s remarks from last week is how he recognizes that Eugenics, or selective human breeding can make people more attractive. It’s fun when you think about combining the attributes of people that you consider desirable. That’s why corporations have spent countless billions of dollars using scientists to study and dissect the human genome. Can you imagine how hot a woman clone would be if she could have a huge ass and light creamy skin and blonde hair?!?

b

The history of Eugenics dates back to chattel slavery here in America where some slave owners stopped producing agricultural commodities solely to focus on the yield of additional children borne from slaves. This forced breeding was producing waves of able bodied workers from the healthiest and heartiest of the human chattel. As science advanced, Eugenics became more popular as a tool to remove the part of the population that appeared dependent, say by mental or physical disability. The Nazis were always on top of all the trends and they released ads that told the people that killing the handicapped would save your tax dollars.

euthanaisa poster

Fast forward to modern times and Eugenics is still at the front of peoples’ minds. The Human Genome Project is a multi-national, multi-corporation endeavor whos goal is to track and document the blueprint for humanity. Just recently, the Human Genome Project had announced that it has finally mapped all the DNA that comprise humanity.

Leave it up to white to take it to that next-next level and attempt to patent different DNA strands. This brings us back to Eugenics and our ability to make humans that possess certain characteristics. It’s been a minute since I peeped ALDOUS HUXLEY’s great novel ‘Brave New World’, but because of the Governator I realize I should go pick that tome up just so I can see what white has in store for me.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Separated @ Birth, Social Upheaval | 5 Comments »

PUFF DIDDY = SURVIVOR

Tuesday, September 12th, 2006

diddy

A few weeks ago CURTIS JACKSON considered embroiling himself in a beef with the King of All Jigs over weedcarrier MASE’s status with G-Unit. Good thing for FIDDY that his handlers gave him another scheme to get promotion.

The last person in Hip-Hop that you want to fuck with sideways is PUFF DIDDY. He has single handedly ruined the careers of countless rappers, producers and staffers within the entertainment industry. We all know where B.I.G. is now, but what about CRAIG MACK, SUPERCAT, TOTAL, SHYNE, BLACK ROB and the irrepressible SUGE KNIGHT? It’s gotten so bad for LOON that he has taken to doing barbershop holdups in Harlem.

From a business aspect FIDDY is a maverick Hip Hop impresario for channeling his thug character into book deals and feature length films, but FIDDY’s character has a shelf life. DIDDY however, is built to last. He might very well be Hip-Hop’s QUINCY JONES. There was never an artist that Q couldn’t take production credits from. Just saying good morning to Q at the office meant that you owed him points off your album. Until DIDDY came along there was no other producer that actually produced less. Still there is one ability that DIDDY possesses that not even the great Q can do.

DIDDY can resurrect himself from the dead.

Do you know how many times DIDDY has been thrown under the bus only to get back up again? At this point you have to reognize that he is the greatest negro ever second only to Jesus Christ and even J.C. couldn’t bring himself back to life as often as PUFF.

Let’s take a look at a tale of the tape on how a DIDDY vs. FIDDY matchup might have played out…

ENDURING PUBLIC IMAGE
second rate magazine mugshots
 fiddy

diddy ENDURING PUBLIC IMAGE
jetskiing in a tuxedo.

PRIME TIME ROMANTIC DYSFUNCTION
VIVICA FOX GAYME
 fiddy

diddy PRIMETIME ROMANTIC DYSFUNCTION
J. HO

FIDDY ARCH NEMESIS RATING
JA RULE +5
 rule

shugey DIDDY ARCH NEMESIS RATING
SUGE KNIGHT +10

FIDDY EARLY HIP-HOP AFFILIATION
ONYX
 onyx

i.o.u. DIDDY EARLY HIP-HOP AFFILIATION
I.O.U. dancers.

TOP TALENT TO RECEIVE GUNSHOTS
Himself.
 fiddy

biggie TOP TALENT TO RECEIVE GUNSHOTS
Notorious B.I.G.

CELEBRITY CLOSELY RESEMBLING FIDDY
Fred G. Sanford.
 fred

brown CELEBRITY CLOSELY RESEMBLING DIDDY
BOBBY BROWN
When you add up these factors you will agree that DIDDY is just way more hardbody than FIDDY. It really wasn’t even close, once you take into account that DIDDY is famous for shooting while 50 became famous for being shot.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs, T.O.N.Y. | 9 Comments »

The Empire Strikes Back…

Sunday, September 10th, 2006

stormtroopers

I have been so wrapped up in the war on poverty that I kind of forgot about the war on terrorism and the war on drugs. Doesn’t it seem like these things aren’t really problems until we declare war against them? RONALD RAYGUN’s war on drugs gave us the crack epidemic. G DUBBZ’ war on terror gives us more fearfulness and more G DUBBZ.

However, the war on terror has produced some positive results if you are PETE DOHERTY or an opium farmer in Afghanistan. There has been a bumper crop of opium produced this year and 90% of the world’s supply comes from Afghanistan. We all know what opium is used for right?!? So it seems like the war on terror actually fuels the war on drugs which in turn will feed the perpetuation of the war on poverty. And here it is all the liberals in the mainstream media talking about how dumb G DUBBZ is and how little jobs he’s created. I say look at all the jobs that he’s maintained. DEA agents, judges, lawyers, corrections officers and even the Mexicans that work at the paper mill that produces the arrest docket forms.

If there are any indie rapper rockers out there that read this shiite, take my advice and delay that heroin habit for about five years. The magical crop that was cultivated this year is laced with depleted uranium and white phosphorous from the water supplies throughout Afghanistan. We have been busy bombing the fuck out of the mountains in the north. The depleted shells submit residue that is transferred into the ground water in the mountains and then delivered down to the cities in the southern part of the country. Don’t be surprised when you see more kids coming from that region looking like this.

total recall

Yep, that dope will really be the bomb.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Social Upheaval | 4 Comments »

GHETTO CELEB MATHEMATICS

Friday, September 8th, 2006

redmath

Now that Asian youth are wiping up the floor with white kids in the SAT’s and standardized tests guess who is ringing the alarm?!? It wasn’t a problem when Black kids weren’t learning because that fits the supremacy program anyhoo, but now that TAD, CONNOR and HALEY aren’t ranking with RAJESH or SOO LI there seems to be an issue.

There are so many reasons that Black kids can’t learn that I won’t even try to open that box up, but I have known for years that it was time to switch our pitch up in how we attempted to educate the children. Learning has to be rewards based and practical. It reaffirms the reasons why we attend class when we can see a direct correlation to what we learn and how we live. I would love for there to be an increase in vocational studies put back into schools as well as out-of-class field projects that expose children to the world at large. I suppose all of that rhetoric sounds good to the ‘hood, but how do we implement it into the system?

BLU CHEEZ had an idea to use celebrities to help teach kids math skills since they are too busy spending their millions on items that have no social value. This way there is a relevance to the lesson and current and former pop culture icons can say that they ‘gave back’ to the community. BLU CHEEZ will use these celebrities in different formulas to indicate the various products and remainders that are created from their variable talents. Let’s see some of his examples…

weezle
Spike from Gremlins swagger plus the H.A.M. hand jewelry of SAMMY DAVIS Jr. = LIL’ WEEZLE

beyonceDIANA ROSS’ wig collection plus a huge horse booty = BeYONCE

This is pretty simple stuff. How about trying out some of these harder problems…

beyonceRuPAUL’s singing voice divided by TEDDY PENDERGRASS after hours = NEYO

starThe media exposure of OPRAH WINFREY multiplied by the class of VIVICA FOX = STAR JONES REYNOLDS

didsterKIM PORTER’s reproductive system and PUFF’s ability to make anything famous = The new old Jackson 5 (just watch out for the MICHAEL).

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Fashion Faux Pas, Ghetto Celebs | 8 Comments »

I’m With Stupid…

Thursday, September 7th, 2006

bubba and dubya

This used to be my favorite time of the year when I was a kid because I was going back to school and I would get to see who my new classmates were and if any of them were cool or assbags. There’s a similiar anxiety on Capitol Hill and throughout the Beltway in D.C. as politicians scramble to shore up their platforms prior to the ‘midterm’ elections. These are desperate times in Washington and a lot of the Senatorial flunkies may be collecting unemployment checks while they play golf this winter.

For being a bunch of pussies and letting the Administration walk over them to squash our civil liberties they all should know what its like to be one paycheck from living in a refrigerator box inside a public park.

Looks like politricks makes for strange bedfellows. The Senators were so haughty to harraunge BILL CLINTON for his cigar fellating intern, but no one is man enough to say that we are losing two many of our sons to the desert. None of these fools is brave enough to restore the ethics and integrity that was the lynchpin for working class idealogy. Corporations take their working class jobs everywhere but here. We are even outsourcing the labor for the rebuilding of the Gulf Coast. Not surprisingly though, the reconstruction work is moving as fast as a filibustered bill for healthcare reform. Let’s not even discuss the educational needs that we are facing. Let’s just hope that the worker of tomorrow only need to know how to operate a PlayStation controller.

And with the seams seemingly unraveling before our very eyes there is still only one thing that really matters…

“It’s the economy stupid!”

(click above^ it’s a link)

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Social Upheaval | 6 Comments »

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