Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

LIFESTYLES OF THE BROKE AND ANONYMOUS

Monday, July 31st, 2006

finders

I hate the New York Times, but I have to read the New York Times in order to know what white is cooking up for my azz in the near future. The New York Times honors the age old tradition of faux liberal, closet conservative propaganda machines by using fancy new terms to describe the conditions of poverty and disenfranchisement.

All across America it seems that urban centers are no longer places where traditional middle class families can exist. The center city has become a playground for the wealthy while the poorest remain to serve them. If you look at any third world country’s economic infrastructure you can see this same dynamic. The educated and skilled people that would be a legitimate middle class find that the country is not economically viable to sustain them so they emigrate (usually to the U.S.). Do you know how many people here are working in menial jobs but hold graduate degrees and professional licenses in other countries? I think about the African woman working as a health care aid in America who is a doctor when she is back in Ghana. Or the Indian man who goes from being an engineer to a taxicab driver once he comes to America.

The Times recently published this article titled ‘Cities Shed Middle Class, and Are Richer and Poorer for It’. The article describes the vanishing of a residential middle class component from the large urban centers. It instead opines that the middle class have not been pushed out or priced out from these cities but have decided to relocate to the suburbs. GETTHEFUCKOUTTAHERE!?! No one considers a two-way two hour commute as a trade up on their quality of life. I realize that I have been priced out of my city by the greedy land owning developers who have used the media to advertise NYC as some magical playground where stylishly dressed white women walk the streets at all hours.

(note to readers: Don’t drink the Kool-Aid. It’s still NYC, and if you get caught lunchin’…)

(add’l note to readers: Even though almost 50yr old SARAH JESSICA PARKER is married to the coolest white of all-time, Ferris Bueller, she still doesn’t rate as a M.I.L.F.)

Before I get too off topic let me tell you what caused me to nearly jump out of the window. In the first linked Times article, the writer quotes W. MICHAEL COX, the chief economist of the Federal Reserve Bank in Dallas…

“Firefighters who want to live in high-priced cities can work two jobs. I think it’s great, because it gives you portfolio diversification in your income.”

WTWTF?!? It would have to be a BUSH Administration appointee who is so out of touch with reality that he thinks a firefighter should work two jobs because the real estate costs are too accelerated for him to afford to live on just a firefighters salary.

At some point we are just going to have to ‘Eat The Rich

SUOZZI = SWAYZE

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006

the suozz

Or… They Don’t Believe You, You Need More People.

My update on the New York politricks scene shifts back to the gubernatorial race which has become a one-horse show for all intensive purposes. THOMAS SUOZZI, the Nassau County Executive is being outmuscled by the NY State Attorney General like the Hulk crushes a bag of Doritos. ELIOT SPITZER, the NYSAG, started the race with a lead in hand and in the best framing of any political contest he has never looked backward. There is a debate scheduled for tonight, but my azz will be listening to quality rap music inside Fort Greene. Let me know if anyone hears a tree falls inside of the forest.

Poor TOM, he’s a good dude, but overcoming that Long Island lisp was a far too daunting task for him. He needed to fix that speech flaw in order to win the voters upstate that see him as child of privilege, out of touch with the common man. Forget the fact that most voters think that the Attorney General actually prosecutes criminals like some kind of super crime fighter for the state. I’m surprised that TOM didn’t call on his fairy godmother. The lesbian voting bloc is steady freddie come primary time.

the suozz and glenda

Yeah, this one looks like a wrap right about now. For us over here at DP dot com the sad part of all of this was that Governor SPITZER didn’t even need to take us up on our offer to procure the mythical ‘Black Vote’ for his campaign.

BILLY SUNDAY’s Back To A Blackout

Monday, July 24th, 2006

billy sunday

I can’t disappear for a minute without y’all fucking up some shit?!?

Who was running the microwave, the toaster, the waffle iron and the Korean DVD player from the same electrical outlet?

DALLASPENN.COM: ALL-CITY, WORLD FAMOUS

Thursday, July 20th, 2006

stussy bucket

Just copped a few tees fom the Stussy store. Is it me or are t-shirts getting smaller nowadays? Either the shirts are a size extra schmedium or they are a fuckin’ 8X.

Back in the day SHAWN STUSSY designed a comfortable neat fitting shirt. Everything is cut for Japanese cats and hipsters now.

stussy worldwide

MEMO TO Dr. ZHIVAGO: DRIVE SLOW HOMIE

Monday, July 17th, 2006

putin

I feel that it’s part of our responsibility here to speak to officials from other countries when it appears that our own representatives might be too ‘diplomatic’ to tell them the real deal. I have a feeling that the Russian Premier VLADIMIR PUTIN may have been enjoying the jabs that we take at President BUSH so much that he has decided to join in the fun at the G8 summit.

Sorry Mr.PUTIN(pronounced poot-in), but jokes are only for legimate democracies. Until Russia finally accepts full democritization there will be no jokes or snappy retorts allowed from the Premier or any other Russian dignitaries. Do you know how long it took before we were finally able to silence YAKOV SMINOV?!?

Speaking of Russian exports… Why is the mafia the only thing that Russia makes that works correctly? You can’t get a Russian bicycle or a goddamn roll of toilet paper, but the Russian mafia collects their fees like they wear Swiss watches.