Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

DEF JAM Needs a New T.I. Boss

Thursday, March 2nd, 2006

starks

I can’t imagine that LYOR COHEN would have kept the new IRONMAN album on the shelf this long since it is prah’lee the most eagerly anticipated album for this year (or second next to RAE’s O.B.F.C.L.2 project).

eSKay from NAH’RIGHT.COM might be the most powerful person on the blogosphere when it comes to Hip-Hop so I am asking dude now to send a message to JOE CAMEL and that other guy that wears the beaded slippers to get on their grizzly and drop this album before all the white kids download it.

SECRET LIVES of GHETTO CELEBS

Saturday, February 25th, 2006

m.j. starter kit

K.W. 2005 Christmas wish list.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIRDBRAIN

Friday, February 24th, 2006

dusty boys

Editor’s note: If you have a hard time reading the embedded text the above picture was poached from CRUNK and Disorderly. You should go there today and view more of the celebrity Negro madness that they have on display.

BRYAN ‘BIRDMAN’ WILLIAMS celebrated his birthday this week with his brother ‘SLIM’ and a couple of weed carriers.

This photograph is interesting on several different levels and I will try to explain why I had to post it on my page.

1) At what point are you old enough to not have to make hand signs. Let’s assume that as an established O.G. you have been ‘throwing up’ your set for 10-20 years. Shouldn’t everybody know you by now?

2) When you are showing said signs of ‘professional affiliation’ shouldn’t there be some uniformity? I count four(4) different hand signs being displayed assuming that the indifference shown by SLIM is another set within the same overall ‘professional affiliation’.

3) Now that 40 is the new fourteen does this excuse teenagers if they aren’t potty trained?

Take a good look at this picture. This is what a wealthy Black man aspires to look like on the anniversary of his release from his mother’s womb. Even though you can’t see it in this photo trust me that there is a Louis Vuitton print handbasket somewhere near them and inside of it is a whole gang of hell.

Happy Black History Month.

CULTURAL HUSTLING 101

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006

I want my MTV

The truth of the matter is that I never wanted my M.T.V. I never had any use for them growing up in NYC. There was sufficient programming that featured people of color and pop music all in one place. There was a program called ‘Hot Tracks’ that played Hip-Hop music videos as well as 80’s pop tunes by PRINCE, SHEENA EASTON, M.J. and all the usual suspects.

Then there was RALPH McDANIEL’s ‘Video Music Box’ which might be the singular most important program for the Hip-Hop generation. V.M.B. was recorded on BetaMax then on VHS format tapes and the copies were passed around school and shipped out of state. V.M.B. tapes could be found along the early 80’s cocaine corridor that ran along the east coast. It was crack when crack was REALLY crack and not just rap. That’s not to say that V.M.B. was bad because it wasn’t bad at all. It was the most progressive programming on television. The show was produced by RALPH McDANIELS and LIONEL ‘VID KID’ MARTIN, both were college educated and true school Hip-Hop heads. The show was so sick because there was no where else you could see a video from JAZZY JEFF and FRESH PRINCE followed by a video from DEVO or BLONDIE. V.M.B. was the ONLY show giving P.E., POOR RIGHTEOUS TEACHERS or X-CLAN any shine.

Back in the day those acts were even too Black for Black Entertainment Television. Video Music Box was an underground social phenomenon that the T.I.’s tried to obfuscate with the creation of that pay per play video channel called ‘The Box’. V.M.B. was broadcast from WNYC-TV which had been the only network owned by a municipality until then NYC Mayor RUDOLPH GIULIANI sold the station to Dow Jones & Company. I believe that V.M.B. is still on the air some 22 years after it first debuted in 1984. I respect the architects.

crazy sam

Fast forward to the present: ViaCom is the top dog of cultural hustlers on the planet today. They use their multiple platforms to program adults, and more importantly, the youth into what the cultural norms for the future shall be. Hip-Hop music is one of their key tools. It is loved by working class kids from the center city all the way into the middle class enclaves in the suburbs and the exurbs. This is where ViaCom penetrates the deepest because there isn’t the presence of the ‘other’ to refute the images presented on the television screen.

Their cultural programming is just as effective in the center city because there is visual access to markers of wealth and opulence. The sight of a Bentley sportscar outside of a television set confirms its existence within the world described on television.

I thought that I would be upset with the network chiefs at ViaCom for allowing the program called ‘The Shop’ to air on M.T.V. instead of the sister station B.E.T. but after previewing trailers from the program I realize that the target demographic for this program are the kids in the suburbs and the exurbs. This program is supposed to be their indoctrination into the actual lives of people from the center city. I thought of this program as some sort of corporate media attempt at Black People 101.

What are the jigs saying? What are the jigs wearing? Why does that woman have a child and not a husband?!? Everything I wanted to know about Negroes but I was afraid to ask them because I was afraid. M.T.V. has struck suburban gold platinum again and I suspect that I will be seeing kids at the mall this spring with aluminum foil covering their teeth. I blame SUMNER REDSTONE.

Do you think DICK CHENEY is going quail hunting anytime soon? I wonder if I could get SUMNER an invite.

model minority on the hook up

PENTAGON Purchases TERMINATORS

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2006

terminator

As the world turns I have been trying to stay abreast of the developments in Iraq. Unfortunately, the Administration has the media on a news blackout for Iraq stories, but there is still some interesting shiite afoot if you look for it.

Russia is trying to come up in the game now as a power broker between the West and the Middle East. Europe used to hold that spot down but with the changing faces of the players in the Middle East region the European Union has lost their touch. Russia better watch their step though because its one thing to be cool with the Shah of Iran, but its entirely another thing to play the new Hamas Palestinian government close. Doesn’t Russia know who runs this rap shit?!?

My favorite story is how the U.S. is investing more than $120 BILLION to automate the Armed Forces. The project is called Future Combat Systems and it is the largest military contract in the history of… well, history. The annual expenditure on defense contracts is predicted to skyrocket from $75b to 118b by the year 2010. That’s an increase of more than 50%, but the pay for servicemen isn’t projected to rise by more than 6% during the same period. It looks like defense contractors will be the only folks able to afford tickets into the new Yankee Stadium.

terminator

The focus of the FCS program will be the introducton of robot soldiers to the battlefield. We all know how bad the Army has been as of late in recruiting teenagers to step on landmines. I was hoping that the U.S. might grant the Canadians an expedited ‘green card’ in return for military service. The Defense Departemnt has apparently given up on recruiting humans, even Mexicans need not apply. Human soldiers usually cause casualties to political campaigns. Robot soldiers will give U.S. voters one more reason to feel ambivalent about killing colored people across the globe.

Because robot soldiers won’t be eating the trashy MRE’s that Halliburton provides our troops at a premium I wonder if they will still make the Terminators with teeth?

terminator