Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

DAVE CHAPPELLE’s Still Rich Beeeyatch!

Wednesday, September 21st, 2005

still rich beeeyatch!

JOJO McQUEEN has been busy on her grind and she brings us this good news from up north. DAVE CHAPPELLE is in no danger of going broke anytime soon as he has sold the rights to release his ‘Block Party’ documentary to some T.I.’s from Universal Pictures.

That was singularly the greatest hip-hop show ever and I am including on that list the 1987 Fresh Fest at Madison Square Garden the summer that SCOTT La ROCK was killed as well as the B.I.G. tribute ten years later at the Palladium featuring JIGGA, MISSY, MASE, J.D., LIL’ KIM, the LOX and of course DIDDY. You can just click here to read my review of the show. JO JO and I enjoyed the show with some potheads that we skipped on the shuttlebus line to the show. We rode in yellow cheese school buses to this funky little dead end block in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn. I left JO JO with the potheads during the DEAD PREZ set so that I could enterprise my way backstage. Craft services was unreal for the show. They had a cutting board with filet mignon, baked salmon, tira misu, salads and top shelf liquors. It was all of that and a bag of salt and vinegar chips, especially when the ‘Fugees reunited.

DAVE CHAPPELLE is taking the words right out of ol’ Blue Eyes mouth and doing the damn thing HIS WAY!

BILLY SUNDAY’s Guide to Getting Pizzzaid #16

Wednesday, September 14th, 2005

little Bobby

I don’t know why everybody hasn’t blown this up yet, but I will put it out there because I want folks to get mo’ money, mo’ money, mo’ money. Adopting kids is one of the sweetest rackets around.

The U.S. has a grip of kids in the foster care system that no one wants to deal with, maybe because they’re ‘tards or they’re born with some other kind of defect like HIV or whatever. These kids are wards of the state because their natural birth parents are too busy with shit like crystal meth production or jail time. The state is just itching for people to take these poor whelps off their hands, so much so that they will pay you a salary if you place one of these kids in your home. It’s no wonder that foster homes are filled with kids. These places are collecting a mint of state money. All you have to do is give these kids one sardine and a 6oz. cup of water per day to meet state nutrition guidelines.

Some Ohio family had their adoption ponzi scheme busted up by the feds because they kept the kids in cages, but sometimes that is the only way to deal with ‘tard kids. Most of them aren’t really comfortable unless their underpants are stuffed with feces anyhoo.

In general, state laws concerning ordinary child abuse are vague and unenforceable so I can’t see this couple serving any jail time. I remember when we agreed that R.KELLY should just become a foster parent so that he could legally molest young girls. Yeah, this adoption thing is sweeter than the lottery.

AND NOW… A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR…

Monday, September 12th, 2005

CHAMPEEZYx3

AND NOW… A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR…

Wednesday, August 31st, 2005

CHAMPEEZIE

Tsunami Economy

Thursday, December 30th, 2004

NIKE employees
The tidal waves that have killed tens of thousands of people in South East Asia were terrible. Mass graves are always really sad no matter what the cause. Whether it was an earthquake or a tidal wave or two airliners crashing into skyscrapers, it will be a sucky ass New Year for a grip of families. Even though I lost no one directly in this tragedy(because I won’t count the relatives of the Thai prostitutes that I frequent in Flushing Queens) I still am expecting to feel a financial pinch from the aftermath.

I only buy NIKE and TIMBERLAND footwear and these two companies manufacturing bases are centered in South East Asia. Although this tidal wave didn’t destroy the inland factories it did kill many children and young adults who staff those factories. NIKE and TIMBERLAND have already begun their re-staffing efforts in the hopes of continuing and unabated flow of merchandise to the U.S. The problem is that when these manufacturers have to hire adult labor the cost per hour rises from 5cent to 8cent. Don’t be coy when you think about those THREE PENNIES. Any true capitalist will tell you that is a spike in labor costs of more than 66 percent. The new AIR JORDAN 20 was already slated to retail for $250 bucks. This goddamn tsunami is even going to push that price up.

If NIKE and TIMBERLAND think that I am going to pay more money for my ghetto accoutrements…

aw, fuck it, they know that I will pay more.