dallaspenn.com

Chocolate Snowflake and I are in Florida on my parent’s coattails. They were the ones who bought into the timeshare scam many years ago. My mother has rarely used the timeshares after my dad’s passing. Part of the reason is because this shit can be so damn inconvenient. My folks bought their timeshare from a resort in South Carolina and like most people they didn’t want to visit the same place every year.

The way these timeshares are supposed to be set up you can ‘exchange’ your resort space for a similar one within the resort company’s network. Yeah, that sounds all well and good except there be hell’a blackouts and unavailability as you try to make your exchanges. Now planning a vacation becomes a full time fuxin’ chore. And all you wanted was to put your feet in some white sand for a week.

Timeshares are operated like scams that you sign up for in perpetuity. You can’t sell them either because they aren’t property that was paid for but a week during the year. A SPECIFIC week at that. So in some cases when you can’t afford to take your vacation during that exact week you have to pay a fee to have the chance to use the timeshare during another week of the year.

I wasn’t even supposed to be in Florida with C.S. but everyone she invited didn’t feel like going with her. I don’t know why because C.S. is the perfect roadie. We do these timeshares to a tee with groceries from the local supermarket and hell’a maps that feature all the attractions of the place we are visiting. C.S. even signed us up for a timeshare pitch at the resort we were staying in (for an AmEx giftcard and a 3day/2nite stay at a Wyndham hotel).

The new pitch isn’t for timeshares any longer since the jig is prA’li up on these scams. The new pitch is for ‘Vacation Ownership‘. Same scam animal, different name. The salespeople try and coerce you to pay $15,000 so that you can accrue annual points to use towards visits to resorts in their network. Do these niggas know I can’t even pay my cellphone bill regularly? What the fux makes them think I might could afford to take a week away from my grizzly like that? Oh, yeah, maybe because I told them I go to St. Ma’arten or Barbados annually.

I’m already in hellified debt with just my clothing, toy and sneaker collections without assuming some scam from these two-bit soulless prostitutes. These scam niggas is only half a step above the niggas who work for financial companies who create sexy names for the instruments which rob people’s retirement accounts. They are all vultures and a blight on the Earth. All I want to do is put my feet in some white sand with my ladybug. Keep your timeshare scams.