Archive for the ‘C.R.E.A.M.’ Category

China Is Bootlegging U.S. To Death…

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008

dragon

The latest case of China’s ability to reverse engineer anything on the planet involves the manufacturing of the blood anti-coagulant Heparin. How appropriate is the irony that fake blood is also being made in China?

This Heparin shit is for people who need their blood thinned because they have vascular issues. The product is normally made from the mucous tissues inside of pig intestines and cow lungs. In an added twist of fate, pigshit saves human lives.

There has been a move to totally synthesize Heparin because the current quality controls for its production are lacking. With rural pig farms in China being the main source of the raw materials you might imagine how a few batchs could be fucked the fuck up. U.S. companies began outsourcing China for their Heparin production when pigfarms in the states and Canada were insufficient.

I know I seemed to accuse China of being the driving force in this game of counterfeit blood Russian roulette, but it is really American-owned pharmaceutical companies who use Asia as their manufacturing headquarters because of the overall deregulations on industry. The end result is that a few of us will be killed by the lax manufacturing restrictions and our politicians will rail against the Chinese government.

Meanwhile, American companies continue to rush to Asia for the labor and production of all the crap that we are sold in Macy’s, BestBuy, Target, Wal-Mart and even in our hospitals. Start thinking of hospital treatments as consumer products. Insurance and pharmaceutical companies already do.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Friday, March 21st, 2008

aj wright

I am fucking with A.J. Wright something serious right now. The economy is still fucked the fuck up and I can’t afford to be buying shit at MSRP. Otherwise known as manufacturer’s suggested retail price. A.J. Wright is selling shit far below MSRP. These niggas damn near have thrift store prices. Take a look at the Air Tech Challenge Retro selling for a cool thirty cents.

aj wright

Their prices are so crazy I even considered copping these Dominican dancehall specials for when I wear my MC Hammer slacks and do the bachata. $11 yucks sonn! Yeah, I know, this would have been wild puerto rican Mexican of me to rock these, but c’mon… $11 NIGGA!

aj wright

Mi swagger es muy fantastico

AND NOW… A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR

Friday, March 21st, 2008

champingo

“Champale: Place your middle-class aspirations on ice.”

A LETTER FROM THE MANAGEMENT

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

dp

Rainy days get me down. I need to get some sleep. Between my daily grind that pays the bills and my other daily grind that lets me fly high I need to find the time to shut my eyes. I thought I would go straight home and fall back with some grub and a bottle of cough syrup.

I stopped at my local chinese food spot. Sonn that runs the shop is a cool chinese mafia underboss, or Hong Kong thug, or some shit. His left arm is all tatted with a dragon. These make a serious chicken wing. Sonn loves to gamble though. If I come through looking for the classic ghetto gourmet cuisine (wings + shrimp f.r.) sonn will quiz me on the evening round of NBA games.

Here was my advice…

  • Toronto wins but doesn’t cover(+20)
  • Orlando show the Wizards who has the magic(+8)
  • Orlando + Washington = -225
  • Memphis + Minnesota = -184
  • Phoenix Seattle = -209
  • Road Doggs

  • Atlanta
  • Memphis
  • Pistons
  • Rockets
  • Suns cover (+13)
  • Why are chinese cats some of the illest gamblers? These niggas will gamble for anything. And win. I’ll have a free dinner tomorrow night. Chinese grandmas get it in for Mah-Jongh.

    face

    I just sold a ten year old North Face catalog on eBay for $44 with shipping and handling included. I think I will eBay some more shit since my writing grizzly doesn’t pay me anymore. How much do you think a corporation should pay me for my writing services on a monthly basis? Be honest. You won’t be hurting my feelings. It’s not like those niggas were giving me paper to swag off out of control. I pay my cable bill and I invest the rest in building a virtual community with the people I meet on the internets.

    I feel like trying something different tonight. If you are on the webs and you fucks with AIM hit me up – the_dallas@dallaspenn.com. That is my AIM address. Holler back. Let’s get a live blog popping. i.C. stylee.

    i.C.

    9.01 EST
    *sits around alone*
    9.15 EST
    *still sits around alone*
    9.18 EST
    *RAFI is in the bldg*
    9.21 EST
    *LiSA checks in*
    9.33 EST
    *JamarDot online*
    9.41 EST
    *NickBerkowitz*

    NO HOMO RAP APOLOGISTS…

    Saturday, March 15th, 2008

    gangsterlicious

    A few months ago I told you that it was time for rap music to have an openly ghey artist [ll]. Ghey is the new hot shit right now in civilization. Just look at the popularity of Project Runway and Perez Hilton. If theoretically ten percent of the population is teh ghey then it has been hightime for a rapper to come out of the closet. I think that was Lil’ Wang’s attempt with the imagery he uses in these condom promotions. I apologize for not recognizing this from the outset.

    Just look at that image

    The man that is giving Wang his rod isn’t a police officer as some people unfamiliar with the police have assumed. First of all, the man has no law enforcement identification on. He is wearing no clothing that says police, and if he were an undercover officer he should at least have a badge. The scene has Lil’ Wang splayed on the hood of a car with his pockets emptied and his hand jewelry removed. I don’t know how gheys do their thing exactly but maybe this man is letting Wang fingerbang him afterwards and Wang doesn’t want any doodee on his Jacob jewelry.

    Them rings are a bit shiny too. Sonn, might be copping his shit from the back of the XXL mag.

    The man is wearing shades and has hair plugs. He is obviously one of those old rich faggots that drives from his home in the suburbs to the ‘hood strip mall where all the “hustlers” congregate. Male street prostitution isn’t put on blast like that since it deals with wealthy fags who want to maintain their class status outside of their dangerous liasions so they purchase the services of the people that are from the most socio-economically disadvantaged communities.

    This theme could be part of the series of images that Lil’ Wang is creating for this condom manufacturer. I give Wang credit for being a pioneer to bring his faggotry to the public arena on some shit that says he is a hustler that uses protection. This is a valuable message since Black people now have a lock on contracting AIDS to the same degree that we contract sickle cell anemia and almost as much as our love for menthol cigarettes. It is positive that a gangsterlicious role model like Lil’ Wang is thinking about the welfare of his fans.

    All this homo rap shit affords me the opportunity to present the idea of the pause symbol, or [ll], to you to assist you when discussing some issues on the internets. Byron Crawford created a term several years ago that enabled us to write some questionable shit on the web and then summarily remove the cooties of faggotry from our ‘net profile after the utterance of this phrase.

    Nullus.

    It was widely received and accepted for its clarity and its brevity. Think about it, ‘nullus’ requires only six keystrokes whereas ‘no homo’ required seven. [ll] is the future because it only needs four. By saving keystrokes you are saving energy. Using [ll] leaves me with enough energy to masturbate at least for an additional half minute.

    Lauren Phoenix > Rita G

    Trust me on that.

    [ll] is meant to imitate the universal graphic imprinted on pause buttons on all of our electronic devices. This symbol crosses all kinds of language borders so I feel like it exceeds the accessibility of even nullus, which is latino based. A rare Bol shout to Mexicans I might add. A shout goes out to El Gringo Colombiano who developed the [ll] concept. EGC is also a consultant for the cRap Music Fantasy League which has been suspended while I straighten out my money situation here at the X spot.

    Anyhoo, the point of this drop is to give some credit to Lil’ Wang for coming out of the closet [ll]. Now I’m ready to hear a duet with him an Lil’ Kim [ll].

    UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE

    strapped

    Kudos to Lil’ Wang for getting the ghey out of his condom advertisements.

    Now maybe you can get off Rock The Dub‘s sack? [ll].