Archive for the ‘Jig Lit Review’ Category

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Sunday, June 25th, 2006

the holy grizzly

In Search of… The HOLY GRAIL.

Here’s another pair of shoes that I am putting a Sneaker Fiends A.P.B. out on. The NIKE Air Max 180 Premium Opium is the shoe that I have to add to my archives this summer. If anyone can help me track down a pair in size 12 I will mail you a Air Jordan 20th Anniversary tee or whatever. Just help a brother out, but first let me give you a little background on the Air Max 180 shoes.

am180 classic

We all understand that NIKE revolutionized footwear by placing packages of air within the midsoles of athletic shoes. Air weighs less than rubber or styrofoam and it immediately decreased the stress that users put on their feet with heavier shoes. The question that designers at NIKE faced was how to visually translate the patented air packages so that the consumer could finally see what they cannot see. This is the fantastic conundrum that NIKE faces. How do you show the consumer nothing? And then convince them to pay for it?

am180 bison

The problem was solved with the Air Max 1 shoe. A porthole cut into the midsole allowed the consumer to peer straight through the shoe. In 1991, the Air Max 180 brought this concept to the next level, because the air package that was inside the midsole had now become the sole itself, further decreasing the shoes weight yet increasing the shoes flexibility and performance.

am180 pinks

I love the A.M. 180’s for their design aesthetic. They look trippy. As a matter of fact, I think I was tripping off a hit of acid when I had this dream. In the year 2000, global warming will have robbed the Earth of her greatest natural resource – Air. You will have to go to retail outlets to purchase this item that was once the most democratized freedom of all, the right to breathe air. Oxygen will be a privatized resource like natural gas or oil and the companies that sell it will be similiar. I dreamt that I went into the Abraham & Strauss department store and bought myself a box of NIKE Air. To this day I aways smell my sneakers the second I remove them from the box.

am180 opium

Speaking of trippy stories, these shoes that I need for the collection are called the AIR 180 Priority Opium. This is what they do in the dark. Sick with it!

am180 opium glow

I’m Still Standing… (nullus, of course)

Saturday, June 24th, 2006

billy

This was a rough week for Team DALLAS Inc. I didn’t get any sweet CHOCOLATE SNOWFLAKE poon because I picked up a wretch of a flu bug with a nasty phlegm cough. I suppose I could have gotten some brain, but I haven’t showered all week either.

The Dallass Mavericks played like a bunch of humps and were swept out of the NBA Finals by a dude that wears ‘leggings’!?!

Super producer DALLAS AUSTIN was pinched by the jake in Dubai while trying to transport contraband into the country. Dude was on his way to a NAOMI CAMPBELL party so you know there was already going to be a ton of candy in the building, ifyouknowhatimsayin. I just hope DALLAS AUSTIN wasn’t the connect that everybody was waiting on because that will fuck up a party with the quickness when you find out that the party favors are in the hands of the narcotics policia.

If DALLAS AUSTIN were a fan of the internets he would have peeped ROBBIE‘s site called ‘A Salute To Weed Carriers’ and he would have been reminded that he used to carry for a one JERMAINE DUPRI. Now that DALLAS AUSTIN is a big time music something or the other he should have people carrying his bags(no b.b.). There has got to be another Young Joc or Da Brat wannabe with all the jigs that live in the Atlanta area. Hell, there are still two members of T.L.C. still alive. I’m sure that T-Boz could use the money for Enfamil or hair dye.

So hopefully DALLAS AUSTIN won’t be on lock down for too long, but if he ends up in some new millenium Papillion type shit I hope he has an internets hookup. This way he’ll get to catch up on some required reading like the ‘2006 1st Annual Weed Carriers Awards‘.

N.Y.C. High Schoolers Getting More Stupiderer…

Thursday, June 22nd, 2006

getting dumb

I blame myself. While I sit here and debate which crapper is going to bring New York City back to the forefront of rap music with their fallacious tales of crack sales, there has been a whole generation of kids here in the city falling through the real cracks. There should be alarms going off when the greatest city on the planet can’t graduate more than 40% of its high school population.

I understand that there should be a percentage of kids who just aren’t built for the social promotion that New York City has classically administered, I am one of them, but to lose almost two thirds of your student body is shameful. It guarantees a generation of kids will grow up to be nothing more than the shit shovelers and street cleaners for this faux glitzy town.

All I see are new condominiums being developed in some of the formerly most neglected neighborhoods that the city has. We are spending millions and billions of dollars to attract IKEA and Crate & Barrel to open up megastores and shopping malls. These megaplexes will be staffed by NYC dropouts. This allows the corporations that own these businesses to pay these people a pittance, but it also screws the consumer when customer service is important. This city is split right down the middle now with people that can afford to pay a million dollars to live in a building that prostitues and pimps used to piss on and the rest of us, jockeying for the discarded cardboard box to the high-end Miele refrigerator.

In case you had any bright ideas I am going to put my refrigerator box near the park.

billy sunday

1000 WORDS…

Sunday, June 18th, 2006

boogeyman

Whoever said a picture was worth a thousand words was sorely mistaken, because the best pictures can transfer their meaning with only one word. The truth is that some words by themselves are worth a thousand words because their meaning wraps around our fundamental notions of the world itself. Love, hate and fear are just three words that can define almost everything around us. It’s primal shit like that people use to control us, to get us up to go to work every day, to make us bust our azz so that we don’t ever have to be with or without those three words.

The boogeyman is someone that we all fear. He lives under our bed or inside the darkened closet, but most of all the boogeyman lives in our hearts. He represents our fear of vulnerability. Forget about rational or irrational values because the boogeyman is real and he is out there somewhere, waiting to jump on us when we are relaxing and just minding our business. You can try to make me feel ashamed for being afraid of the boogeyman, but I retain this fear deep inside of me, and nothing you say can remove it from me. I know the boogeyman exists so you might as well be him.

that niggas crazy

The nigger is still the tragicomic hero of post-modernity. I have tried to explain to people that the word’s etymology describes someone’s profession and not their skin color. Whether you realize it or not, class is still the great divide among people in America. Have you ever met someone for the first time and been asked what you do? It’s as if you are defined by what type of work keeps your light bill paid. When America became an industrialized nation is when being a neggar held the lowest esteem. People were working in factories and offices, but if you were still in the field turning over crops and shoveling shitty ground you were just a lowly nigger.

As a matter of fact, even if you migrated to the industrialized centers to seek work you were still regarded as expendable so the name stuck with you. As a matter of fact you embraced the name as only you people can do. You made it your de facto endearment greeting. Nobody really took the time to examine how important the neggar really is. As the person who works directly with the foods that we will eventually consume you literally have the country’s health and well being in your hands. I ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant last night and I realized how great a role the Mexican plays in my life. From harvesting, to delivery, to preparation, up to serving my table there were Mexican hands on my food. I guess I am really lucky that Mexicans dig DALLASPENN dot COM.

slaver

I didn’t wind up here by accident and I wasn’t kidnapped and shuttled to America. I was betrayed by someone that I thought would respect my freedom, because the color of his skin was the same as mine. White and Black is a purely fictional concept. That is the biggest fallacy that people have to deal with now. Wasn’t the African that sold my azz to the European traders at Goree Island also a Black man? You need to stop thinking that someone holds your values simply because they look like someone in your family. You can’t even get along with everyone in your family. I am not going to tell you to embrace any other folks just yet because there is still a system of privilege and supremacy firmly in place that other people have to openly recognize in order to dismantle.

Don’t hold your breath waiting on that either because the fear of being a neggar or worse, being captured by the boogeyman seems to be enough to keep everyone in their place. Just don’t let the world around you stop you from creating your own reality. Check for people that share your value system because that is where your community exists and it may mean getting to know a few Mexicans and a white or two.

The Greatest Movies Of All Time…

Saturday, June 17th, 2006

ninja scroll

What if I told you that the two greatest movies of all time were both cartoons? Okay, they’re not cartoons per say but they are both animated. The first would be ‘Street Fight’ by RALPH BAKSHI. If you are old enough to have gone to see a blaxploitation movie in a theatre then you may know the flick as ‘CoonSkin’.

the rabbit

The movie stars PHILIP MICHAEL THOMAS, BARRY WHITE and SCATMAN CROTHERS on some deep revolutionary shit. It was so controversial that the studio that produced it had to pull it from the theatres. It describes how the Black community is willfully duped and defrauded and it could have awoken the sleeping giant. You won’t be able to find the movie on NetFlix or in any video store, but I scored a pirated burn on eBay.

ninja scroll

The next greatest movie of all time is called ‘Ninja Scroll’ or part I of the ‘Wind Ninja Chronicles’ if you live in NYC and know your way around Chinatown. This film is a superb action movie and love story that revolves around this character, Jubei Kibagami, who is a Ronin. In feudal Japan, the ronin was a masterless samaurai. Think of a hired gun in the old west. Jubei isn’t looking for fame or fortune, just a place to relax for a little while before he continues on his journeys.

ninja scroll

In this epic tale Jubei must fight against an old nemesis who has gained the secret to immortality. His name is Gemma and he has conscripted eight super powerful ninja to work for him. They are called the Devils of Kimone and they all kick azz viciously. Gemma is making a bid to overthrow the Shogunate government that rules Japan and with the help of the eight ninja assassins he just might win.

ninja scroll

Jubei reluctantly joins the fight against the Devils, but he is wholeheartedly in the middle when he finds out that their leader is his arch enemy. Jubei, along with Kagero a female ninja, seek to destroy Gemma and save fuedal Japan from his clutches. The action is constant and fast paced and there is even some anime boobs thrown in for good measure.

If you are a big fan of the Adult Swim programming these two movies should be at the top of your acquisition list.

ninja scroll