Archive for the ‘Straight Laced’ Category

DP Dot Com Super Heroine Series: THE DIRTY PAIR

Thursday, November 1st, 2007

dirty pair

Now this is what I’m talking about. Hot Asiatic poon with laser guided assault rifles. Kei and Yuri are futuristic bounty hunters for the inter-galactic government. They were called the Lovely Angels when they first came out, but their code name had to be switched over to the Dirty Pair because of all the destruction and mayhem they cause when they are on assignment.

They basically run around in these aluminum bikinis shooting up shit for no money down and taking names.

You already know how I get down for redheads.

dirty pair

Kei(redhead) and Yuri(brunette) are both genetically engineered chicks who lucked up on their gigs as super-powered agents of catastrophe. They thought they were filling out job applications to be travel agents. Kei is the one who loves effing with the guns while Yuri is more or less on that futuristic ninja ish.

In the manga world there’s no one else is as hardbody as these chicks. Even robots have to lean back to their overall gullyness. Because they are essentially clones they don’t care what they have to do to get their assignment done. If it means that they have to kill themselves they will do it. Yuri’s already died once before and she’ll do it again. Kei is the one that does all the hands on work like having sex with criminals to get information on terrorists.

dirty pair

In the wacky world of Cosplay the Dirty Pair is always a fan favorite.

It would be totally teh ghey of me to dress up like Kei, but it isn’t so ghey of me to have a pair of Dunks with Kei and Yuri’s images on them. I took a crispy pair of Dunks and made them into the ‘Dirty Pair’.

Yeah, you can hate me now.

dirty pair

AMERICA’s FAUX AFRICAN GODDESS…

Monday, October 22nd, 2007

oprah

“I can’t possibly be racist, I watch the Oprah Winfrey show.”

I must be losing my rabbit-eating mind by putting this drop on my site. Who the fuck do I think I am talking bad about OPRAH WINFREY?!? I’ll tell you who I am. WILLIAM XAVIER SUNDAY, a homeless, uneducated and diabetic Black male. A veritable nobody. The only thing that I have in my life is my faith in the one true, most exalted ruler over heaven and Earth. By most accounts I should be on my knees praising the anointed goddess of American morality. Instead I have come here today to tell you that she is the golden heifer that GOD did warn your ancestors to turn away from. I only pray that my message to you is not in vain and too late for you to act.

OPRAH WINFREY has ascended to prominence via the powerful medium of broadcast television. Her appearance is reminiscent of the classic imagery of the antebellum au pair. OPRAH has even forsaken her own maternal opportunity to assume the mantle of a national caregiver. She allows her audiences to nestle their muzzles at her teet and she scolds those that would pose a challenge to her eternally childlike charges. She is the fairy godmother, literally and figuratively, like when she contracts American automakers to promote their products on her forum via donations to her studio audience. Just don’t expect her to pay the taxes on those “gifts”. You don’t become America’s only Black billionaire by giving away YOUR money.

oprah

Especially when there are multi-national corporations(read: T.I.’s) that will stand to profit exponentially from the exposure that the OPRAH WINFREY show platform provides. I have asked myself several times who underwrites this broadcast because mainstream media in America makes a concerted effort at all times to describe the African American condition as that of constant perdition. How does OPRAH ascend to her position while other prominent women, especially white women must suffer duress before success? Who protects OPRAH? I think I have an idea. I notice that the OPRAH WINFREY show features several commercials daily for pharmaceuticals that treat ambiguous afflictions.

Are you tired?

Are you overweight?

Do you suffer from stress?

The companies that sell the medications that deal with these everyday problems are all big supporters of the OPRAH WINFREY telecast. Who could blame them either since more Americans tune in to this well respected, highly influential, non-church affiliated spiritual icon? I see a definite connection between OPRAH and the multi-national pharmaceutical giant Abbott Laboratories.

Head-quartered in Chicago Illinois, Abbott Laboratories has a laundry list of controversial developments within the pharma-industrial complex. They were the first corporation to develop a licensed blood test for HIV detection. This, despite the fact that HIV still does not have an established cellular designation like every other human virus on the planet. Abbott Labs also controls the patent for HIV drug Norvir and Kalestra, both of which have weathered numerous claims of price gouging from African countries.

Make no mistake. Abbott Labs is bad news for sure. Actually Ensure, which is another Abbott Labs product as well as Similac. With the rise of infant diabetes over the last two decades the call should be renewed to examine these instant milk formulas. At least if your Similac formula gives your child diabetes you can always contract Abbott Labs for their diabetes maintenance solutions.

Do yourself a favor. Stay away from Abbott Labs, and by association, stay away from OPRAH WINFREY.

t.i.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, October 20th, 2007

divas

Awwwwww ish! Where the ladies at?!? I see some of the females that can handle the truth are throwing their hats in the ring for the Sneaker Fiends United NIKE iD cage match. There ain’t nothing sexier than a shorty with a crispy pair of kicks on and a lollipop in her mouth.

The around the way shorty that has climbed in the ring is my homey TY TY (no Jigga) from Strong Island. Let’s see how hard she comes in…

Divas Air Max ’90

divas

The Divas.

All I know is that homegirl in the red is definitely fucking.

divas am90

Citrus Fire Air Max 1

pink grapefruit
Get your daily recommended dosage of Vitamin C along with some icy white snakeskin.

citrus fire am1

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Friday, October 19th, 2007

gladiators

The gauntlet has been thrown down by 40 DIESEL and I accept the challenge.

Let’s get a NIKE iD Air Max design cage match poppin’ off up in this piece. Fuck it. It’s something to do. We can get this shit going on like some gladiators in the colosseum, except no one gets hurt and nothing gets broken but y’all feelings after I pwn y’all bitches!

The Dallas Penn Dot Com x NIKE iD Air Max Design Battle

Here’s how it works…

  • Click the link for NIKE iD
  • Pull down the menu from either Men or Women and pick the ‘Sport Culture’ or ‘Running’ category
  • Choose an Air Max style that you want to design. Only Air Max 1, 90, 95, 97 0r 360 are eligible
  • Design your shoe with all the elements that you want. Complete Steps #1-3.
  • Click Step #4 to finalize your design. Then click the SAVE/WALLPAPER button.
  • Select your wallpaper background and then select the GENERATE IMAGE function.
  • Save your image and then e-mail it to DP Dot Com.
  • I will run a SFU drop with everyone’s designs and we will vote to see who the Don Dada of this sneaker design shit is. Y’all already know I won right?

    Here are a couple of samples of my prowess…

    blucheez

    heatrox2

    SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

    Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

    the archives

    Let’s be perfectly honest. I need another pair of sneakers like I need a whole in my head. But with the grand opening gala of the new NIKE iD Design Studio inside the NIKETOWN store on 57th Street this Saturday I might just have to celebrate this shit the only way I know how. Please believe the joint is official when your mans-n-them COMBAT JACK is in the building. I’m sure there will be other sneaker fiend celebs that fall through as well. It’s a celebration bitches!

    NIKETOWN
    6 East 57th Street, NYC

    Saturday 10-20-2007
    12:00pm – 1:00pm
    Doors crack @ 10:00am

    I’m thinking about going in for Brazil…

    brasilia

    brasilia

    brasilia

    So now you ask me what the big effing deal is about since you can simply individually design and personalize your shoes at NIKEiD.com, and I tell you that the experience is what makes the difference. The NIKEiD Design Studio offers materials and styles that aren’t available online. By installing the design studio inside of their centralized retail outlet they have now democratized the ultimate form of sneaker customization. Anyone can literally walk in off the street and make an appointment to get their kick game right that very same day.

    You hear that BYRON CRAWFORD? Even you can become fresh to def. Well, prah’lee not, but if you wanted to be fresh, living in the city of Chingy and Nelson is no longer holding you down.

    To sweeten the event, as if, NIKE is also running a sexy little promo over at their FaceBook page.

    If you are coming to the event on Saturday make sure to holler at a sneaker fiend when you see him in the streets. I will be checking for all my peoples still living the lifestyle. Nah’mean!?!

    lolifestyle