Archive for the ‘Straight Laced’ Category

The King Of Beers x The King Of Rap + The King Of All Jigs…

Thursday, October 19th, 2006

ghetto celeb mathematics

I thought I was done with talking about Hip-Hop for at least a week or two, but damn, they keep bringing me back into their circle of Hell like DANTE’s Inferno.

By now we all know that FABOLOUS, the straight rapper with the gay stage name, was shot and arrested all in the same night. It’s got to be old news if I know about it since I live in my parents’ basement and I only come to the surface to open the ‘frige. I think FAB just raised the bar now for any young rapper coming into the game and what they might have to do in order to have their CD released. How do you top the FABOLOUS double-play? I say you still have to get shot and arrested, but first you have to pour a bottle of Cristal champagne on your head and then set yourself on fire. You young rappers are gonna have to come hardbody now or else get yourself a job at the post office.

JAY-Z is slowly reconnecting with the regular guy that loves his music, but can’t afford to travel to Aspen, or Monte Carlo, or Nice. It doesn’t mean that the regular guy doesn’t want the finer things in life it’s just that his level of education (and inability to rap over beats) will forever place him on the service side of our economy. Since this fool can’t even pronounce Armand De Brignac (JAY’s new champagne choice) JAY-Z is stepping down to his level… somewhat. As a paid consultant for the Anheuser-Busch conglomerate, JAY-Z will tell the suits in St. Louis how to get some of that sweet Black scrilla that we would normally spend on Champale. Now if only one of these venerable rap music labels would hire JAY to be their president then we might be able to get some decent artist development popping from someone who understands what it’s like to be on the other side of the table. Yeah, maybe…

The first big album event of the fourth quarter took place Tuesday with the release of The King Of All Jigs, PUFF DIDDY’s new CD titled ‘Press Play’. The early album reviews have been good and the demand for the album at DIDDY’s restaurant ‘JUSTINs’ is why FABOLOUS was shot, allegedly.

As part of the promotional whirlwind for the album PUFF will embark on one of his usual over-ambitious all nighters. The details are as follows…

1) Skiing in Vail on Thursday with DAVID HASSELHOFF

2) Friday – La Maas and midwife clases with KIM PORTER on DONALD TRUMP’s private jet

3) Run Boston Marathon on Saturday for MTV taping (seven months early)

4) On Sunday unearth the casket of Notorious B.I.G. and remove all remaining jewelry

5) Brush LYOR COHEN’s Wigs when back at WMG Manhattan offices on Monday

6) Tuesday – make YouTube video of BadBoy staff dancing when Soundscan reports are delivered

With DIDDY as busy as he is these days I’m not sure who will host the BET Hip-Hop Awards. The bigger question I have is do people still watch B.E.T.? It seems kind of redundant and cheaply produced when compared to MTV2 and VH-1. Maybe it’s time to pull the plug on the Negro Network?

Then again we could just pour champagne on top of it and set it on fire. That would be keeping it Hip-Hop.

pissy crissy

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Wednesday, October 18th, 2006

This is just a little taste of how it’s going down this autumn. Premium leather uppers with the Infra-Red contrast stitching and midsoles.

FIRE IN ZEE HOLE!

brownies
brownies
brownies
brownies
brownies
brownies

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, October 14th, 2006

sneaker pimps

SNEAKER PIMPS IS HIP-HOP!

C.S. met up with me downtown and she decided to come with me into the Sneaker Pimps show. For the uninitiated, Sneaker Pimps is a traveling art exhibition that celebrates not just the sneaker culture but the passion that people have for urban style and culture. I went to the Pimps show in Atlanta which was fun (sorry I never dropped the flicks), but Sneaker Pimps in NYC is where this event finds it’s crescendo. Cats haven’t just taken their one time’s off ice, but they are rockin’ their most crispy I.T.’s to boot. There was so much ‘LO gear in the building it felt like a family reunion.

wingman
wingman
suicide
longbill
rios
jordan clot

But the night was really about sneakers and unlike the Atlanta show, everybody tonight was wearing sneakers. Some of the rarest joints weren’t just on display, but on peoples’ feet as well. Peace to DJ CLARK KENT who is a Don in the sneaker game. He gave away a brand new pair of HUF NIKEs to a dude who had just bought a pair of crispy AF-1’s to wear to the show. Just like that, homie got a pair of kicks that will anchor his collection for years to come. What I like about CLARK KENT is that he realizes that the culture can’t be sustained by making people camp out overnight at stores just for an exclusive pair. Like CLARK KENT says, “At the end of the day, it’s just rubber and leather.” I have to agree with that, although some days it’s rubber and premium leather.

97 I.D.'s
invisible girls
lady clot
viotech
 the lifestyle

Peace to my dude AIR MAXWELL and his boys who let C.S. and I jump the line in front of them (the line extended all the way from Sixth Avenue to Fifth Avenue). Hip-Hop cop Detective DERRICK PARKER was working security for what was an unbelievable crowd of thousands of people. The performers scheduled for tonight were the BeatNuts, the Clipse, and Ghostface Killah. I wore my ‘Iron Man’ Air Max 180’s around my neck. Inside the venue there were people vending their sneakers as well as other goods. The Dunk Xchange featured some sick customized NIKE Dunks as well as other styles. The space hosting the party is called Avalon, but for any true school NYC party heads you would know the building better as Limelight. It’s a wild labyrinth of rooms and balconies that feed off the main space which was formerly a church. C.S. and I perched down in the skybox balcony to enjoy the show.

baby jordans
mummy dunks
chinese new year
skybox

Clipse came on first after the Ice Cream skate team did a few ollies on a modified half pipe constructed on the stage. The crowd loved the Clipse and the people sung along with most of their songs. They brought out Ab Live from Major Figures and some other dude from their Re-Up gang and they did a few of those songs too. C.S. and I both agree that the Clipse seem to have a rock (no pun intended) solid base fan following, which makes us wonder why their label won’t release any new music from them. Then it dawned on me that the Clipse = Most Downloaded. Yeah, they have fans, but their fans are all of the internets kids who don’t buy music. These kids will support their favorite artists at shows and events, but they won’t go to Tower Records to buy a CD. Actually, they won’t be able to go to Tower any longer. R.I.P. Tower Records.

iron man 180
iron man 180
iron man 180
iron man 180

Ghostface was one of the best shows I have seen is a long while. He and the Theodore Unit came onstage shortly after the Clipse and they basically took the crowd to that place that not many rap acts can occupy. We were in a state of total delirium. With hit songs from Wu-Tang’s catalog to some of his own joints he gave the crowd energy every time we heard a new sample drop. Even though the sound system inside the venue was fucked up the crowd didn’t care so neither did Ghost. Sometimes he’d just let us sing the song over the beat. The best moment of the night is when Big Ghost did a tribute to Ol’ Dirty Bastard. When I tell you that the entire crowd went crazy chanting the lyrics for ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya’ it was like being inside the essence of the ONE. It was fitting that Sneaker Pimps held this show in a building that once a church. The spirit of Big Baby Jesus came down last night and touched us all. Wu-Tang forever.

Chuuuuuuurch.

iron man 180

WAR MACHINE > IRON MAN

Thursday, October 12th, 2006

rhodey

The latest news down the Marvel Comics movie pipeline is that TERRENCE ‘SLICKBACK’ HOWARD has been cast as James Rhodes in the upcoming ‘Iron Man’ movie. I wasn’t so sure that I liked this choice from the outset, not because of TERRENCE, who is incidentally bringing lightskin brothers all the way back, but because he IS a lightskinned Black man. I thought this character should have been a darker complexion Black man. There are several dudes that come to my mind that could have filled the role.

rhodey

DEREK LUKE – MORRIS CHESTNUT – TAYE DIGGS
All of these guys would have made a solid character, but instead the studio goes with the one Black guy other than DENZEL that would be known outside of the Black community. I also think there is the unspoken rule that disallows heroicism from a dark-skinned male. O.K., maybe I’m reaching on that last one. TERRENCE is lights out and I think he’ll be a credible superhero, it’s just that I am still smarting from the producers of the X-Men series not using the chocolate goddess, ANGELA BASSETT, to play the Storm character.

The buzz so far has been the attempts of the producers to retain the fidelity of the character’s storyline while making the production relavent to new action hero fans. I’m anxious to see how Slickback does in this film. If he wasn’t cast in OutKast’s ‘Idlewild’ I would never have been able to stay awake through the whole film.

rhodey

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE

Thursday, October 12th, 2006

pimps

This is the the big one y’all, SNEAKER PIMPS in NYC. Get your crispy I.T.’s out of their airtight plastic bags because this is the joint that we all live for. Perfoming live will be the IronMan Tony Starks b/k/a Ghostface Killah, the Clipse, the BeatNuts, CLARK KENT and Funk Faggoty on the decks.

Art installation by DAVE WHITE and my niggas STASH and FUTURA.

One word.

BANANAS.

Friday, October 13th
SNEAKER PIMPS – NYC
Avalon (formerly Limelight)
6th Avenue @ West 20th Street
doors = 8pm

cowboys