For his overall size [ll] DENNIS RODMAN was one of the best players in the league. His singular defensive focus and uncanny knack for securing rebounds should have him voted into the Hall Of Fame. The thing that hurts RODMAN’s chances are all those times that he fuxed with his hair. RON ARTEST is slowly becoming the new millennial DENNIS RODMAN except ARTEST still doesn’t have a championship. DENNIS has a handful. As soon as RON RON gets his ring he will enter the circle of NBA Wig Owners.
But for now he has shown promise, like the TRU WARIER design he wore while in Indiana. ARTEST shows us that despite poor spelling we knew exactly what he was trying to say. Who’s the fool?
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Sac-Town signage
Just in case he forgot what shitty shitburg the Pacers shipped him off to RonRon had his squad’s named laced into his scalp. But without Bibby in the backcourt any longer the Kings were more like the serfs.
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Houston was the next stop for the RON ARTEST hair show. The Rockets were buzzing with the notion of TRACY McGRADY, YAO MING, SHANE BATTIER and RON ARTEST all on the floor at the same time. Unfortunately that moment only occurred for 10 minutes in a pre-season game.
Artest: I can get you a haircut for halfprice?
Kobe: Nah man, I’m good.
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Hi, my name is Ron
To shore up their defense (read: to give fits to CARMELO ANTHONY) the Lakers acquired ARTEST from the Rockets. Lakers coach PHIL JACKSON had dealt with the eccentric DENNIS RODMAN previously so most people assumed he could figure out the enigmatic RON ARTEST.
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After finishing the first half of the season looking like the bee’s knees (except for their Cleveland matchups) the Lakers have come back down to Earth. To hopefully spark(yes LISA LESLIE) his teammates ARTEST added a new wrinkle to his wigscape – hairdye. This was a wigbrushing technique that was mastered by RODMAN since his days in Detroit.
The Lakers’ skid hasn’t ended yet, but the road to Wig Ownership for RON ARTEST has only just begun. He’s a got a lot of ‘chips to win and boards to grab if he wants to equal the NBA’s Wig Brushing/Owning G.O.A.T., but I won’t count RON ARTEST out.
Come to think of it, just wait until ARTEST plays for the Clippers?
Peace to Yahoo’s NBA super-blogger TREY KERBY
