Archive for the ‘No Boutros Boutros… Ghali’ Category

SNEAKER STUNTIN’ 101…

Monday, January 11th, 2010

lebron 7s

LeBreezy was killin’ ’em in the streets for the Cav’s away game in Portland. Being an earshot from the Swoosh headquarters must have meant a special trip out to Beaverton before tipoff. LeBreezy went on to drop 41 points and stunt extra hard by simultaneously wearing two different colorways of the LeBron 7’s.

These kicks are supposed to match the Cavs early 1990’s throwback jerseys but the colorways are totally repping for the Mets and the Knicks. I did the same thing in 1985 with the Nike Dunk (word to Rory Sparrow). I’m just glad that LeBreezy is getting his footwear into a New York state of mind.

lebron 7s
lebron 7s

pics via NikeLeBron.net

American Crapparel FTW…

Monday, January 11th, 2010

american crapparel

“From the craps tables down in AC, back on the block/Jay-Z mother f*cker from tha’-tha’ the ROC.” -(c) camel

I fux with American Crapparel hardbody (props to The Arab Parrot for coining the phrase).

Their heather gray zip up hoodie goes perfect with jeans and any manner of Nike steez:

douche mustache

Unzipped [ll], you can showcase your favorite t-shirt whilst staying warm. Throw a flannel underneath and you’re on your West Coast B.I. Wear nothing underneath and show off the taco meat [ll]. It’s whatever’s your pleasure, really.

But what really gets me fired up about AC is the models. Their website is better than pr0n. Like, pr0n wishes it could be as gullyriffic as the AC website. What do you expect? Their CEO is a sexual deviant. No shots – at DP.com, sexual deviancy [ll] is mad celebrated. Ixpecially if it leads to the creation of something as dope as AC.

AC goes in on the artsy hipster pseudo-pr0n photography tip something hardbody. For instance, why is this broad bending over backward with her hands on her tushie? No answer for that. But me likey:

easy access

These jeans bring a brother back to the early 80s, when it was considered sexy to wear jeans that came up to the belly button, well before the low-rise fad kicked in and took over. Know what? Shits look bangin…all over again:

old school bellay

And this is the simple shit. I’m not even talking about the fly unitard that just came in for this season:

WOW

But hold up, you didn’t think that’s the best pic they could come up with, did you?

can u dig

And Exhibit C (no Jay Elec-Hanukkah)…show me whatchu twurkin wit:

i'm ready

On the low…this one got a bubba:

BUBBLE BUBBA BUBBA

This one is just filthy…I ain’t mad atchu, guh – get that $:

on the track like jackie jurna

Mack, I’m gawn in:

do u love the web

I’m in love (no sucker for love; no Cappin Save-a-Hoe):

what a bubba

Need I say more:

sheer byooty

If you’re like me, any website that displays half a nipple is blocked by your company’s Haterware – but AC will never be blocked. Thusly, for an afternoon diversion, you can’t beat the AC shwag. Poke around [||] the site for an afternoon – you’ll never be able to predict what sort of innocuous piece of clothing Dov Charney has repurposed in a shwagged-out, 70s pr0n star sort of way. Thank me later (no Canadian Jewish rap star.)

Not For Long: Wild, Wild West

Monday, January 11th, 2010

jennings

The Wildcard game of the weekend was the last one featuring the Packers against the Cardinals. Green Bay gave Arizona all they could handle but just like last season Arizona found a way to prevail. If the Packers had eventually won this touchdown reception by Greg Jennings might have have been the catch that cemented the victory.

The Wildcard weekend MVP would have gone to the Raven’s Ray Rice who ran over the Patriots and put the final nail into the coffin of last decade’s football dynasty. Rice wasn’t the biggest scorer from the Wildcard round. Let’s see who else put up the big numbers this weekend.

DP = 72pts

QB – Tony Romo = 24pts
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Willis McGahee = 13pts
WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
WR – Reggie Wayne
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Ryan Grant = 8pts
K – Garrett Hartley
D/ST- Baltimore Ravens = 7pts

Ami Hobbes = 23pts

QB – Philip Rivers
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Felix Jones = 23pts
WR – Reggie Wayne
D/ST- Minnesota Vikings

King Blair = 62pts

QB – Brett Farve
RB – Reggie Bush
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
WR – Desean Jackson = 7pts
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Ryan Grant = 8pts
K – Matt Stover
D/ST- Cincinatti Bengals = 0pts

BigNat = 90pts

QB – Brett Favre
RB – Cedric Benson = 24pts
RB – Ryan Grant = 8pts
WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
WR – Randy Moss = 4pts
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Ray Rice = 27pts
K – Matt Stover
D/ST- Dallas Cowboys = 7pts

40 = 64pts

QB – Drew Brees
RB – Thomas Jones = 9pts
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
WR – DeSean Jackson = 7pts
WR – Randy Moss = 4pts
TE – Dallas Clark
FLEX – Miles Austin = 14pts
K – Nate Kaeding
D/ST – Green Bay Packers = 3pts

FredMS = 66pts

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
RB – Adrian Peterson
WR – Julian Edelman = 16pts
WR – Robert Meachem
TE – Jason Witten = 2pts
FLEX – Brent Celek = 5pts
K – Mason Crosby = 9pts
D/ST- New York Jets = 6pts

Russ the Bus = 127pts

QB – Aaron Rodgers = 52pts
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
RB – LaDanian Tomlinson
WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
WR – Percy Harvin
TE – Jason Witten = 2pts
FLEX – Cedric Benson = 24pts
K – David Akers = 2pts
D/ST- Minnesota Vikings

dat520 = 55pts

QB – Drew Brees
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
RB – Cedric Benson = 24pts
WR – Reggie Wayne
WR – Randy Moss = 4pts
TE – Antonio Gates
D/ST – Cincinnati Bengals = 0pts

Rob = 59pts

QB – Phillip Rivers
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
WR – Marques Colston
WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
TE – Jason Witten = 2pts
FLEX – Ryan Grant = 8pts
K – David Akers = 2pts
D/ST – Cincinnati Bengals = 0pts

StookieBrother1 = 61pts

QB – Tony Romo = 24pts
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Ryan Grant = 8pts
WR – Wes Welker = 0pts
WR – Reggie Wayne
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
K – Shayne Graham = 2pts
D/ST – Dallas Cowboys = 7pts

LM = 106pts

QB – Aaron Rodgers = 52pts
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
WR – Desean Jackson = 7pts
WR – Randy Moss = 4pts
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Dallas Clark
K – Shayne Graham = 2pts
D/ST – Arizona Cardinals = 14pts

JaiSlayer = 20pts

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Thomas Jones = 9pts
RB – Marion Barber = 0pts
WR – Marques Colston
WR – Derrick Mason = 0pts
TE – Brent Celek = 5pts
FLEX – Antonio Gates
K – Ryan Longwell
D/ST – New York Jets = 6pts

Smell Deez = 70pts

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
RB – Adrian Peterson
WR – Miles Austin = 14pts
WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Thomas Jones = 9pts
K – Garrett Hartley
D/ST – Indianapolis Colts

Polotron = 77pts

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
RB – Adrian Peterson
WR – Miles Austin = 14pts
WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Thomas Jones = 9pts
K – Garrett Hartley
D/ST – Dallas Cowboys = 7pts

Amadeo = 40pts

QB – Phillip Rivers
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
RB – Ryan Grant = 8pts
WR – Sidney Rice
TE – Jason Witten = 2pts
FLEX – Dallas Clark
D/ST – Green Bay Packers = 3pts

Quimby = 22pts

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Reggie Bush
WR – Randy Moss = 4pts
WR – Desean Jackson = 7pts
TE – Jason Witten = 2pts
FLEX – Ryant Grant = 8pts
K – Nate Kaeding
D/ST- Minnesota Vikings

getthesenets = 91pts

QB – Donovan McNabb = 18pts
RB – Cedric Benson = 24pts
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
WR – Robert Meacham
WR – Vincent Jackson
TE – Visanthe Shiancoe
FLEX- Larry Fitzgerald = 20pts
K – Matt Stover
D/ST – Philadelphia Eagles = 2pts

cocotaso = 13pts

QB – Brett Farve
RB – Ryan Grant = 8pts
RB – Marion Barber = 0pts
WR – Wes Welker = 0pts
WR – Reggie Wayne
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Jeremy Shockey
K – Shayne Graham = 2pts
D/ST – New York Jets = 6pts

wmarv = 83pts

QB – Tom Brady = 19pts
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
WR – Reggie Wayne
WR – Chad Ocho Cinco = 2pts
TE – Jermichael Finley = 15pts
FLEX – Miles Austin = 14pts
K – Jay Feely = 6pts
D/ST – New Orleans Saints

RTHSTN = 74pts

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Reggie Bush
RB – Ray Rice = 27pts
WR – Miles Austin = 14pts
WR – Sidney Rice
TE – Jermichael Finley = 15pts
FLEX – Thomas Jones = 9pts
K – David Akers = 2pts
D/ST – Dallas Cowboys = 7pts

SEPARATED @ BIRTH: All That Jaz…

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

azzmin

You think Huey and Riley know that Jazmine DuBois is gonna grow up to be this foxy?

I’m ready to start calling Ms.Keys by her new nickname – Azzmin DuBwutt

azzmin

My bad, that was hell’a corny. I don’t mean to offend Alicia Keys anymore. I apologize now for accusing her for playing fake piano during Jay-Z’s insipid urban anthem. During her musical guest spot on Saturday Night Live she played her piano. Albeit it wasn’t that dynamic, but she did play.

Right now, Alicia Keys is owning all the chicks that make musical performances. As soon as she learns how to dance it will be a wrizzap.

Huey and Riley better stop sleeping.

azzmin

Not For Long: Wild Card Weekend

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

welker

^ Wes Welker will NOT be helping your fantasy team win in 2010.

I created a form that lists the player positions that you can choose from. Why don’t you meatsauce just copy the form next time so I don’t have to spend an hour on the data entry. ThxUvrymuch.

Okay, let’s keep it real simple on this drop. This is so that you can see who is on your roster for those of you scoring at home.

DP

QB – Tony Romo
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Willis McGahee
WR – Larry Fitzgerald
WR – Reggie Wayne
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Ryan Grant
K – Garrett Hartley
D/ST- Baltimore Ravens

Ami Hobbes

QB – Philip Rivers
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Felix Jones
WR – Reggie Wayne
D/ST- Minnesota Vikings

King Blair

QB – Brett Farve
RB – Reggie Bush
RB – Ray Rice
WR – Larry Fitzgerald
WR – Desean Jackson
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Ryan Grant
K – Matt Stover
D/ST- Cincinatti Bengals

BigNat

QB – Brett Farve
RB – Cedric Benson
RB – Ryan Grant
WR – Larry Fitzgerald
WR – Randy Moss
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Ray Rice
K – Matt Stover
D/ST- Dallas Cowboys

40

QB – Drew Brees
RB – Thomas Jones
RB – Ray Rice
WR – DeSean Jackson
WR – Randy Moss
TE – Dallas Clark
K – Nate Kaeding
FLEX – Miles Austin
D/ST – Green Bay Packers

FredMS

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Ray Rice
RB – Adrian Peterson
WR – Julian Edelman
WR – Robert Meachem
TE – Jason Witten
FLEX – Brent Celek
K – Mason Crosby
D/ST- New York Jets

Russ the Bus

QB – Aaron Rodgers
RB – Ray Rice
RB – LaDanian Tomlinson
WR – Larry Fitzgerald
WR – Percy Harvin
TE – Jason Witten
FLEX – Cedric Benson
K – David Akers
D/ST- Minnesota Vikings

dat520

QB – Drew Brees
RB – Ray Rice
RB – Cedric Benson
WR – Reggie Wayne
WR – Randy Moss
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Darren Sproles
D/ST – Cincinatti Bengals

Rob

QB – Phillip Rivers
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Ray Rice
WR – Marques Colston
WR – Larry Fitzgerald
TE – Jason Witten
FLEX – Ryan Grant
K – David Akers
D/ST – Cincinatti Bengals

StookieBrother1

QB – Tony Romo
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Ryan Grant
WR – Wes Welker
WR – Reggie Wayne
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Larry Fitzgerald
K – Shayne Graham
D/ST – Dallas Cowboys

LM

QB – Aaron Rodgers
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Ray Rice
WR – Desean Jackson
WR – Randy Moss
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Dallas Clark
K – Shayne Graham
D/ST – Arizona Cardinals

JaiSlayer

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Thomas Jones
RB – Marion Barber
WR – Marques Colston
WR – Derrick Mason
TE – Brent Celek
FLEX – Antonio Gates
K – Ryan Longwell
D/ST – New York Jets

Smell Deez

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Ray Rice
RB – Adrian Peterson
WR – Miles Austin
WR – Larry Fitzgerald
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Thomas Jones
K – Garrett Hartley
D/ST – Indianapolis Colts

Polotron

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Ray Rice
RB – Adrian Peterson
WR – Miles Austin
WR – Larry Fitzgerald
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Thomas Jones
K – Garrett Hartley
D/ST – Dallas Cowboys

Amadeo

QB – Phillip Rivers
RB – Ray Rice
RB – Ryan Grant
WR – Sidney Rice
TE – Jason Witten
FLEX – Dallas Clark
D/ST – Green Bay Packers

Quimby

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Reggie Bush
WR – Randy Moss
WR – Desean Jackson
TE – Jason Witten
FLEX – Ryant Grant
K – Nate Kaeding
D/ST- Minnesota Vikings

getthesenets

QB – Donovan McNabb
RB – Cedric Benson
RB – Ray Rice
WR – Robert Meacham
WR – Vincent Jackson
TE – Visanthe Shiancoe
FLEX- Larry Fitzgerald
K – Matt Stover
D/ST – Philadelphia Eagles

cocotaso

QB – Brett Farve
RB – Ryan Grant
RB – Marion Barber
WR – Wes Welker
WR – Reggie Wayne
TE – Antonio Gates
FLEX – Jeremy Shockey
K – Shayne Graham
D/ST – New York Jets

wmarv

QB – Tom Brady
RB – Adrian Peterson
RB – Ray Rice
WR – Reggie Wayne
WR – Chad Ocho Cinco
TE – Jermichael Finley
FLEX – Miles Austin
K – Jay Feeley
D/ST – New Orleans Saints

RTHSTN

QB – Peyton Manning
RB – Reggie Bush
RB – Ray Rice
WR – Miles Austin
WR – Sidney Rice
TE – Jermichael Finley
FLEX – Thomas Jones
K – David Akers
D/ST – Dallas Cowboys