dallaspenn.com

BILLY X. SUNDAY got the block on lock at XXL Mag Dot Com.

I’m listening to the Carter III advance and I’m looking for a sign that Lil’ Wang is going to take over this rap shit. Something to make me shut the fuck up about his rhyming skillset. Something to make me realize how talented this dude supposedly is. I’m just not hearing it though. The beats from the C III preview are some of the best joints that Wayne has ever had to rhyme over. There’s still something that dude is short on. Maybe it’s too much of that syrup in his blood?

There’s a track with Babyface on the hook and Mr.West on the beats. Most people would say that is the sure shot hit, but I don’t feel like Wang goes in hard enough [ll]. There’s another track called ‘Kiss Me Baby’ and just the title make me laugh my ass off. Thank God nowhere on that song did I hear Wayne talk about lip-locking his record label owner and surrogate father. Whew! Then I came up on the real hit on the advance. Lil’ Wang doesn’t even rhyme on this joint. Maybe that’s why it was so good.

Lil’ Wang lets one of his weedcarriers and presumably his best ghostwriter do all the rhyming. That was a good move. The next power move Wang made was to sing, nee sang, like a goofier Akon, or an O.D.B. on the drank. Wang gets wild on some talkbox vocoder type shit that all the kids are doing now, except Wang is perfect for the talkbox like Roger Troutman was because Wang just says whatever is on his mind. Kind of like how I blog on this XXL Mag Dot Com shit.

This is how Lil’ Wang is going to take over the music business. He is going to become the greatest rapper ternt sanger alive. Imagine T-Pain on that HGH with a Maybach space shuttle parked out back by the pool. This shit is about to get crazy. The Black Robin Thicke is Weezy KissyFace and he ain’t playing no more. I expect to hear duets with Amy Winehouse and Lily Allen. Fuck that, Weezy and Madonna in concert together. Madonna Effs Baby. And with that talkbox shit Lil’ Wang can team up with Daft Punk and Donna Summer and bring disco music back. Do you not see the potential of this Carter III R & B album?

I was totally wrong about Lil’ Wang and his Carter III project and this song made me see the light. So put on your shades, your shiny spacesuit and get you a Solo cup of that “Lean”…

LIL’ WAYNE – About U

DALLAS PENN vs. BILLY X. SUNDAY every day at XXL Mag Dot Com

Between artists no longer being able to remember lines to songs and being proud of this fact and Diddy smacking the shit out of another clubgoer, we have this most recent parade of rappers being arrested for shit that is decidedly NOT smart dumb rapper shit. Clifford ‘T.I.’ Harris is the latest casualty of the rap music race to the bottom. Why the fuck T.I. needed a shitload of guns in his possession will be examined and discussed in the next few weeks. Because I’m a blogger and I don’t do much else other than sit around in my mom’s basement and hit up free pr0n websites I have the free time to think about the reasons why one of Atlanta’s most popular pop music icons would be building a private arsenal on his palatial compound. Guess what bitches?! Yep, it’s another list.

1) Research for the ‘American Gangster’ sequel titled ‘African-American Hitman’. How ridiculous is the idea that some Black dude was running a narcotics operation that netted millions of dollars without any white hands getting paid trillions. Keep in mind that Blacks don’t harvest poppy or coca leaves, nor do they own the manufacturing systems that refine narcotics into a usable product. Blacks don’t even own the factories that make the tiny little baggies or the vials that couldn’t hold anything usable but drugs. Blacks are the last stop on the chain and it ain’t like white isn’t counting every single ounce. You ever see the ledgers they maintained during the Atlantic Ocean chattel trade? White knew exactly how many niggers he was getting for a barrel of rum and several canes of sugar.

2) Staging a Civil War re-enactment with live weapons and ammunition. Who knew T.I. was such a history buff? It could be that he was just putting together a high school production of the battle at Shiloh with some Gwinnett County teenagers and instead of using those crappy old muskets from the 1800’s he decided to give the production an updated feel with assault rifles and handguns equipped with silencers. Instead of arresting dude people should be giving him credit for pursuing a realistic angle in this re-enactment. Kids should be given real firearms if you are going to teach them how to pose for pictures pointing the guns at the camera and scowling.

3) Arming the Ugandan rebels in order to overthrow the dictatorial regime in that African nation. The higher purpose that T.I. had for buying all those firearms was really to spread democracy throughout Africa. After watching the Leonardo DiCaprio movie ‘Blood Diamond’ T.I. was inspired to help the Ugandans and Sudanese and the Eritreans obtain their independence from foreign oil or some shit like that. Listen, I don’t know nor do I give a fuck about that shit that is going on in Africa, but maybe T.I. does so don’t hate the man for trying to reconnect with his African brothers.

4) T.I. was just keeping his shit extra Hip-Hop and ordered all those guns from XXL magazine owner Harris Publications related websites.

5) T.I. needs all those guns to defend his bowtie collection. In the latest Complex magazine T.I. admitted to spending over a million dollars a year on clothing including 100K annually on handmade silk bowties. Don’t hate T.I.’s southern dandy steez. Blame it on Tip. Take that Fonsworth Bentley.

I can’t imagine any other reason that an entertainer would need to be purchasing military class assault rifles equipped with silencers, but I sure am happy I didn’t review his trainwreck of an album this summer. If I had I would definitely be watching my back.

BTW, all cRap Music Fantasy League label owners with T.I. net a cool 300 points for his arrest as opposed to only 100 points for his appearance on the B.E.T. Hip-Hop awards show. Whack entertainment network stays losing.