Another reason it’s good that KanYe doesn’t use me to visualize his music. I would have just used clips of Snow Miser from the ‘Christmas Without Santa Claus’.
This video is beautifully dark and moody. My treatment for ‘Nightmare‘ may not be too far off.
Among the big four professional sports in the United States hockey might be the gheyest hence the people from Canada and Europe are always the best at it. Because fighting is legal Blacks are mostly excluded from the sport. You could just imagine the village that gets set aflame after some jig pummels a dude into a bloody pulp. Europeans haven’t rampaged with pitchforks and torches since Frankenstein so you know they are due.
Anyhoo, when hockey is just doing what it do people are smacking the shit out of one another. Peep superstar Russian player ALEXANDER OVECHKIN give the kiss of death to former teammate and veteran superstar JAROMIR JAGR. Boom!
*Automatic [ll] to this drop (natch)
Editor’s note: I’m gonna bring this theme back from last year where Combat Jack and I had some fun saluting the people who have kept alive the legacy of CRISPUS ATTUCKS.
Many of you may not know this but CRISPUS ATTUCKS was the first person killed in the Revolutionary War. ATTUCKS was also a Black man. That he is generally the only name most people remember when queried about the so-called ‘Boston Massacre‘ says that ATTUCKS was surely a pioneer, but a pioneer of what you might ask? CRISPUS ATTUCKS has pioneered a long line of Africans in America who have gotten their shit fucked the fuck up because they were fucking around with the white.
To lead off this years CRIPUS ATTUCKS memoriam we will look at the controversial story of CRYSTAL GAIL MANGUM.
MANGUM is the woman, who in 2006, accused several Duke University lacrosse players of raping her. MANGUM had been in the company of the lacrosse team after she was contracted to perform erotically at a private party in the residence of the players. The story ignited a firestorm of racial tensions across the nation. The history of America and the relationships of whites and Blacks is well-documented for those that seek the information. Those that prefer rumor and sensationalism are unfortunately the majority however and the facts of this case were obscured and blurred from the start.
MANGUM was a stripper. MANGUM was hired to strip. At some point in the evening MANGUM was approached for services other than dancing and the removal of her clothing. MANGUM refused those advances. What has never been publicized is that MANGUM was issued a benzodiazepine from the players in order to make her pliant to their sexual advances. MANGUM had been drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana prior and all of these substances ultimately made for a convoluted toxicology report.
While MANGUM had no DNA evidence from the lacrosse players within her vagina she did show evidence of vaginal and anal intercourse. Basically, MANGUM was given a date rape drug by the players and she was fucked in her pussy and in her ass with something other than a penis. This is why CRYSTAL GAIL MANGUM deserves the CRISPUS ATTUCKS salutation. If she had simply kept her ass in the Black Durham strip clubs this would have never happened. She went after the what she thought would be the easy paper from the white college kids without realizing that these kids were depraved from years of privileged programming.
Date rape drugs (benzodiazepines) are drugs normally used to treat anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, and several other conditions. Some benzodiazepines used to treat insomnia possess a powerful motor-impairing sedative, with strong amnestic properties. This is the reason that she can’t remember exactly what happened, but it all boils down to her decision to fux around with the white. Sure the Black money is slow money and may not always help you pay the rent on time. but the Blacks don’t even know how to pronounce Benzodiazepine much less how to administer it.
Unfortunately, CRYSTAL GAIL MANGUM had to learn the hard way (puns always intended) that hanging around with the white is the quickest way to getting your shit fucked the fuck up. Luckily for her she didn’t suffer the same fate as CRISPUS ATTUCKS, but then again, it’s still very possible that a musket was shoved up inside of her. We’ll never know.
R.I.P. CRISPUS ATTUCKS.
Dedicated to all the ghetto children across the world…
A child is born with no state of mind
Blind to the ways of mankind
God is smiling on you but he’s frowning too
Because only God knows what you’ll go through
You’ll grow up in the ghetto, live as second rate
And your eyes will sing a song of deep hate
The places you play, and where you stay
Looks like one great big alleyway
You’ll admire all the number book takers
Thugs, pimps, pushers and the big money makers
Driving big cars, spending twenties and tens
And you wanna grow up to be just like them
Smugglers, scramblers, burglars, gamblers
Pickpockets, peddlers even panhandlers
You say: “I’m cool, and I’m no fool!”
But then you wind up dropping out of high school
Now you’re unemployed, all non-void
Walking around like you’re Pretty Boy Floyd
Turned stickup kid, look what you’ve done did
Got sent up for a eight year bid
Now your manhood is took and you’re a Maytag
Spend the next two years as an undercover fag
Being used and abused and serve like hell
‘Til one day you was found hung dead in a cell
It was plain to see that your life was lost
You was cold and your body swung back and forth
So now your eyes sing the sad, sad song
Of how you lived so fast and died so young
-Melvin Glover
When Combat Jack told me that we needed to say fux Black History Month and rename this shit Rap History Month I was like “hells Chea!”. August was always my favorite Black History Month anyhoo since that shit is hotter than Africa. And they have Harlem Week.
So now that we are looking at Rap History Month the question is where to begin when talking about the rich history of exploitation of the Black experience that rap music represents more often than not. When rap was first delivered the artists were have-nots and ne’er do wells who often found themselves on the wrong side of the tracks.
Nowadays all the rappers you hear on the radio from Ludacris to Drake to T.I. are privately schooled educated actors who know how to feign their headshots with the appearance of the familiarity of hard knocks. Today’s mainstream rapper is 100% entertainer and 0% educator. When did Hip-Hop and rap become overcome with narcissistic vanity?
I think that line points directly to rappin’ athletes. Here was a population who entered the music biz already with a grip of legit money and notoriety. Think about who started the silly trend of spraying other people with champagne that rappers readily adopted? Athletes were the original entertainers to go broke shortly after confirmed millionaire status. If rap music is described as the soundtrack for ostentatious jewelry and the desire to have sex with big-assed women then professional athletes are the most Hip-Hop people of all time.
Being excessively Hip-Hop however does not necessarily make you a decent rapper. I think we are going to see an inverse relationship to someone’s ability to be good in contests of ghey prowess and the talent to make good ghey music a la Drake. Exhibit A (no Jay Elec) would be Neon Deion ‘PrimeTime’ Sanders who altho’ he has a gang of nicknames he didn’t save any talent for the soundbooth.
Neon Deion gets a pass from our memory mostly because he does some shit even worse than his singing. Deion’s Bama suit collection was the most annoying shit next to Craig Sager’s wardrobe. But Deion was also a championship ring wearer and that helps you get some forgiveness from the fans.
No amount of NBA championships tho’ should let anyone forgive Kobe Bryant for his attempt at being a rapper. This shit was a bigger bomb than watching Detroit sweep L..A. out of the Finals that year.
Kobe raps exactly as you imagined he would. Like a douchenozzle.
One of the most annoying trends that Hip-Hop granted to professional athletes was the ability to contract their names into little two-syllable monikers. Chris Webber became C-Webb. Allen Iverson begat A.I. and Shaquille O’Neal was now Shaq Fu. How sick was Shaquille O’Neal to try and bring back the Fu Schnickens style of rap long after it was washed up?
And he almost did it too.
Shame on a schnicken that bought the SECOND album.
With this next clip we can see how much 2Pac inspired Chris Webber. Think about it, with all the stops that Webber had in the NBA his soundtrack should have been ‘I Get Around’. As far as Webber’s music career, someone should have called a timeout.
All rappin’ athlete music isn’t utter garbage tho’. Some of it could actually pass for the shit most kids try to sell on their sidewalk mixtape hustle. Allen Iverson and Ron Artest are two dudes who keep the streets on their sleeve no matter where they are. Iverson kept it so street he scared the shit out of any good sponsorship opportunities his on-court play may have generated for him.
Listen to this track called ’40 Bars’ where Iverson basically crafts a profanity laced snitchery session. I guess A.I. didn’t know that you weren’t supposed to name your shooters?
Allen Iverson – ’40 Bars’
Allen Iverson was so Hip-Hop that the rest of his album’s content had to be strictly domestic violence and drug raps.
Speaking of drug raps…
There’s no way I would shit on my hometown crew from 1986 altho’ it’s now painfully evident that their rhymes wouldn’t have been on coke inasmuch as they were on coke when they did their rhymes.
Ah well, cie la vie.
Pitchers and catchers [ll] are back to work.
Long live Rap History Month.
1986 NY Mets – ‘Get METSmerized’
