Look out for an upcoming i.C. episode where we go in on the best chicken wings evar. Will it be KFC, or Popeye’s, or the halal spot that also makes pizza, or is it the bulletproof Chinese restaurant?
Who do you think makes the G.O.A.T. fried chicken wings. I’m talking about that fried chicken that makes fools get to fighting?
One of the reasons that I appreciate OhWord dot com is because of their tireless effort to identify trends on these internets. We all know what a Hot Ghetto Mess means to the people that live within the urban boundaries, but what about the folks that live in the trailer parks and the Ozarks? What would you call their need for individualistic self-expression that somehow misses the mark of sensibility. The good people from the R & D department at OhWord call this…
JETHRO FABULOUS
Let’s take a look at some photo samples of Jethro Fabulousness from a recent Kid Rock concert in the Appalachian region of Ohio.
Families that smoke crystal meth together stay together.
Sure, this dude is gangsta with his tiparillo, but peep grandma in the background.
Mom disappeared for a half an hour, but then she returned with sweatshirts. Thanks Uncle Roadie.
Don’t worry little Jenna, as soon as you turn 18 mom will chip in and help you buy your new boobs.
Yes, that is a du-rag, and yes, he is trying to get waves.
Stop being racist internets, even Black folks can get Jethro Fabulous.
Pick out your own favorite Hot Jethro Mess from the Kid Rock concert slideshow pics.
The i.C’s are back on the attack. Here’s a hand-y guide on where to go when you are on the go and you have to go.
BTW, fellas, you need to start washing your hands since I just blew up your spots.
Chea!
All Wig Owners are not created equal.
When I talked about Wig Owners > Wig Brushers I admit that I generally assumed that all Wig Owners were given the same considerations irrespective of their racial background. I’m embarrassed that I could be so naive. Here in America we have an entire socio-economic culture that is based entirely upon the construct of racism. Just when I think that someone transcends this construct I am shown evidence to the contrary.
Take a look at some of these Wig Owners and the treatment they receive from the mainstream media based on their race. Do you think that racism would be as viable if it weren’t directly connected to capitalism via supremacy? What I’m asking you is whether or not we allow Wig Owners a certain allowance because we can make money from them.
TIME OUT > JAIL TIME
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BRITNEY SPEARS Instead of being in a rehabilitation clinic she is performing on the front and center stage of the MTV awards. The t.I.’s at MTV would prefer a drugged out BRITNEY SPEARS instead of the fruit loopy KANYE WEST. Was it because they knew that we would talk about the pop princess trainwreck for weeks to come? |
| FOXY BROWN Not just is she doing jail time, but she is also spending time in solitary confinement a/k/a ‘The Box’. Can you imagine how far under the jail we might put Foxy if she were sniffing cocaine off her baby’s stomach like BRITNEY? |
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SOME NIGGA O.D.’s > AN ICON’s TRAGIC DEMISE
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HEATH LEDGER What HEATH LEDGER’s death means in the short term for me is that the premiere for ‘The Dark Knight’ will be even more crowded than usual. LEDGER’s family lucked out that HEATH was effing with the OLSENs and not the LOHAN clan. We may never have recovered the body had LINDSAY’s dad got a hold of him. |
| PIMP C Since when does an autopsy on a 36yr old take more than two months? Maybe if Pimp C’s fans bought more of his albums instead of downloading them the BUTLER family could afford to have the coroner’s report released? |
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ACTUALLY RUNNING OVER BITCHES > RAPPING ABOUT IT
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LIZZIE GRUBMAN GRUBMAN allegedly yelled “Fuck you white trash!” from the window of her Mercedes-Benz SUV before she mowed down over a dozen patrons at a nightclub in the Hamptons. Bones were broken, and since no one died, and GRUBMAN is a rich, connected bitch her vehicular assault conviction and subsequent eight years jail sentence was reduced to a misdemeanor and a thirty day plea deal. |
| REMY MARTIN REMY MA raps about shooting people and strongarming witnesses to crimes. I suggest to her to hire GRUBMAN’s public relations firm, but those chicks have prah’lee already shot their load, |
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CHEMICALLY ENHANCED DOUCHEBAGS
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ROGER CLEMENS Major league douchebag who can still command appearance fees at seminars for teaching young athletes. |
| BARRY BONDS Major league douchebag on his way to prison. |
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DIRTBAG SOUL SONGBIRD > DRUGGED OUT DIVA
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AMY WINEHOUSE When Rolling Stone magazine anointed her the new queen of soul a little bit of Motown died again. |
| WHITNEY HOUSTON How come no more Grammy awards for this crackhead? |
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Before dunn Heath Ledger’s himself. No Brokeback to the following drop…
Wang,
Yo dunn, I know I have used this column to criticize and cajole your rhyme skills but when it all comes down to it I have respected your work ethic as you have tried to live up to the potential that everyone claims you have. In truthfulness, I always considered you the best Lil’ of all the Lil’s. Lil’ Jon, Lil’ Flip, Lil’ Kim, Lil’ Scrappy, Lil’ Webbie, Lil’ Fingers, Lil’ Mo, Lil’ Mama and Lil’ Maxso, but Lil’ Maxso is on the come up something serious so don’t sleep.
It’s just that I don’t want to see you waste your life on pills and white powder. That drug shit will be around for ever and ever. What is fleeting and temporary by its nature is life itself. Fuck ever rapping in a microphone ever again. Your life is on the line now. Just like Kurt Cobain, or Heath Ledger. As a matter of fact, exactly like Heath Ledger in ‘Brokeback Mountain’ since you kiss men in the mouth. You have a window right now to escape from and reclaim your humanity.
This rap shit will always be available to you Wang. The kids that listen to rap music now could care less if you belched into a microphone. So now it looks like you will have to sit in the Bing in Phoenix. While your long awaited album ‘The Carter III’ gets pushed back to Nevuary 2007. The C III was going to be that album all the haters were going to love on the low[ll]. Instead everyone gets a mugshot of blue ribbon capture courtesy of the Arizona police. Is this the image that you want you daughter to have of you?
The first step in the rest of your life is going to be the most difficult. You are going to have to remove some long term acquaintances from your cipher. Birdbrain Baby is the first. I know how strongly you feel about dude by the way you close your eyes when you kiss him on the lips. But you are going to need to remove your dependency from your drug supplier before you remove your dependency from your supply of drugs. This also means no Hot Boys re-union just yet. You aren’t strong enough to be around B.G. right now. I’m pretty sure that fool is still twerking.
At the end of the day, no matter where you go there you are. So if you aren’t ready to put down abusing drugs then you won’t make the changes necessary. In truth, your favorite drugs will be around for a mighty long time since they are synthetic anyhoo. If you can prove to yourself now that you can put down using and you are in control then you won’t have any problems later on if you have a relapse or two. The point is to prove to yourself that you have a value outside of this music bullshit.
How do I know so much about the demons chasing you and how you have to rid yourself of them? I too was drug abuser. And I was also born the same day as you, just ten years before you. Be easy and drive slow Lil’ Wang, for your daughter and for yourself.