Archive for the ‘Harpers Weekly Review’ Category

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Gattaca And The U.S. Government…

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

dna

If you haven’t seen the movie ‘Gattaca’ I suggest you do so if only to peep UMA THURMAN when she was undoubtedly the sexiest chick on this here planet Earth. ‘Gattaca’ was so futuristic I decided to invest heavily in biotech engineering stocks. I was so fucking sure we would have cloned humans by now. That was 10 years ago and those stocks plummeted when G Dubbz first took office. I do use the word “took” in the literal pejorative sense of course.

Just a little over two years ago Congress passed a law allowing law enforcement agencies to collect DNA samples for ANYONE that was detained. I agreed with DNA collection from convicted felons, but this shit is a bit excessive now. The problem with all of these centralized databases is that they are established and monitored by private firms who share their information with not just the government, but anyone asking for it. Not if I asked for it, or of you asked for it, but let’s say Blue Cross asked for it because they were reviewing my application to be a client of their insurance plan.

BAM!

My DNA speaks of my predisposition to diabetes, heart disease and whatever shit these fucks don’t want to pay health insurance for. You better believe that Blue Cross or whomever is going to use this information for that purpose since they stand to save billions in expenses. I was asleep at the fucking wheel when this passed through Congress, or actually, I was at my day job concerned with paying my mortgage and keeping my lights on. These fucktards from Congress are steadily mailing our asses to the highest bidder like this shit is fucking eBay.

Speaking of eBay…

Just got my copy of ‘Ninja Scroll‘ on DVD. Snail mail list be on the lookout for your DVD.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Harpers Weekly Review, Politricks, Social Upheaval, Weird Science | 9 Comments »

Eff Tibet In The A!

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

tibet

No disrespect is meant to my good friend ERNIE PANICCIOLI but I will have to dissent from the rest of you folks when it comes to boycotting the Beijing Olympiad.

What exactly has China done to you anyhoo? I don’t know too much about China, but I love going to Chinatown. I love being able to afford well-crafted counterfeit luxury items and I definitely love Chinese food.

I’m pretty sure I get to enjoy these things because China keeps their foot in Tibet’s ass. As a matter of fact, China is bankrolling our efforts to bail out the U.S. banking industry after they fucked up the money again.. Do you know what kind of lifestyle we would live if it weren’t for those friendly Chinese investors? I think it would make Hurricane Katrina look like a summer resort.

How crazy is it that we enjoy the American way of life on the backsweat of China’s poorest workers? I say eff Tibet in the ‘A’ if it keeps my gas under $4 a gallon and allows me to watch quality television programming like Miss Rap Supreme (premiering this Monday @ 10pm on Vh-1).

Plus, the main reason I don’t give a fuck about Tibet is because this looks like some of that stuff white people like.

tibet

White is always on some shit like they give a greater fuck. The animal zoo in Nuremberg(yeah, THAT Nuremberg) took this baby polar bear away from the mommy because they said they could raise it better. Meanwhile the zookeeper appears to be giving the bear a handjob.. This is the same exact reason why we are in a war in Iraq. White said we could do a better job for the Iraqis than their existing government. How many millions are dead and displaced and how many trillions have been wasted and misspent at this point?

And how the fuck do you know that Tibet doesn’t deserve an ass kicking anyhoo? I mean that for all we know Tibet could have brought this shit on itself. We all know how religions have gotten people’s asses kicked over the years. I’m not so sure those monks didn’t get out of pocket with the Chinese government by talking that ying yang. Literally. Someone prah’lee said “Ying Yang”. Y’all don’t here me though.

Lastly, I am leery to find moral indignation with any country especially since we are the ones that put more people in prison than any other industrialized nation. We have our jails filled to the gills with political prisoners and innocent people. With all of this commotion going on in San Franciso how come no one gave the San Francisco 8 a shout out? I think there used to be 9 of those fools but one died in jail. Free Tibet? Nahh my peoples, Free Mumia.

Check out your boy getting his moral indignation on by screaming on an Olympic supporter. This is the same coward that doesn’t say a peep when police brutality throws fifty bullets at a groom to be. Nahh man, y’all can keep that bullshit facade if you want. I say eff Tibet in the ‘A’.

Twice.

tibet

Posted in C.R.E.A.M., cRap Fantasy League, Harpers Weekly Review, HUFF YOU!, iNternets Celebrities, Jig Lit Review, Politricks, Social Upheaval, Wig Owners | 34 Comments »

Bhopal Bollywood Batman Baby…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

bhopal

All that alliteration to say Indian infant Two-Face…

Most of you humps are too young to remember the Bhopal chemical disaster in India twenty five years ago. That was some shit that was fucked the fuck up. Union Carbide, an American company that produces industrial chemicals had some kind of crazy gas leak that merc’ked a gotdamned city in their sleep. Peep this description of the early morning hours right after the explosion of the tanks holding the toxic chemicals…

“Security staff were the first ones to be killed – even before they could react to the sound of the explosion. Those who fell were not picked up by anybody, they just kept falling, and were trampled on by other people. People climbed and scrambled over each other to save their lives – even cows were running and trying to save their lives and crushing people as they ran.”

“In those apocalyptic moments no one knew what was happening. People simply started dying in the most hideous ways. Some vomited uncontrollably, went into convulsions and fell dead. Others choked to death, drowning in their own body fluids. Many died in the stampedes through narrow gullies(small roads) where street lamps burned a dim brown through clouds of gas.”

“The force of the human torrent wrenched children’s hands from their parents’ grasp. Families were whirled apart,”

That sounds crazy like how that tsunami jumped off, except this disaster was even worse because the effects still linger in the DNA of those who survived. How else are you going to have a two-faced baby and kids with twenty plus toes and fingers?

I know I pitch a bitch along with El Gringo Colombiano about outsourcing and trade deficits and blah-blah-blah, but if I have to have a Chernobyl brewing in my backyard with generations of mutant(no X-Men) babies just in order to have a few hundred factory jobs I say no thank you. Let those Hindurabic motherfuckers get ALL of that work.

My fat ass will sit behind a desk and play Soduko Solitaire.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, Social Upheaval, Weird Science, When I Reminisce... | 7 Comments »

Eyes Without A Face…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

average white bland

You can get with this, or you can get with that…

This is why I tell you to keep your eyes on the white, literally. When I was out drinking, or getting high, or whatever, white created a new science. That shit is called Koinophilia, and it is all about how humans select their sexual mates.

The study of Koinophilia does some silly shit where they place the images of similar genders on top of one another to create an “average” image. Like, who the fuck doesn’t know how to use Adobe Photoshop in 2008? These fake scientists are going to tell me that the reason I choose white women is because they are scientifically more beautiful?

No, I choose white women because I want my offspring to have an easier life in AmeriKKKa. The future prospects for a jig baby named TyQuan or StarrKeysha are fucked the fuck up. A mulatto kid named Chandler… Not so much. Still and all at the end of the day the Koinophiliacs missed the point if they think that natural selection has anything to do with nostril symmetry.

While white may have the advantage when beauty is promoted through the mainstream media, the real natural selection still favors Black girls. Until white naturally develops the official ba-donk-a-donk, the specimen pictured below will remain the ultimate representative of fertility. Peep the cottage cheese. Tasty.

tasty

Posted in BeYONCE's Hair, H.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, Lust = Love, Social Upheaval, Weird Science | 4 Comments »

“Eff The Olympics In The A!” – ERNIE P

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

ernie movie

Not since the Olympics were held in Nazi Germany has the need for a total boycott of the 2008 Olympics been so powerful.

The Chinese have subjugated and tortured the Tibetan people, tried to crush their religion, raped and murdered their nuns and tortured and killed their children. At the same time they have been brutal in their repression of human rights of the Chinese people themselves.

How can you help in the boycott. Two ways:

  • 1) Active
  • 2) Passive

    • Active would entail writing letters to the media, your political elected officials and to the Olympic athletes, coaches and higher ups. Active would also entail something as simple as putting a sign in your window , car or porch saying “FREE TIBET”. It would also mean wearing a tee shirt with a powerful message. It would also entail rallies, protests and a boycott of any products advertised during the Olympics and letters to the sponsors letting them know Human Rights are more important than gold medals.

    Active would also only be limited by your imagination.

    Passive would entail passing this e-mail to a hundred friends and asking them to pass it on as well. It would also include not watching anything on television and speaking out to your friends and family. Television and sports have far too much importance in our current lives and boycotting these Olympics would free up valuable time we could spend as quality time with friends, families and loved ones.

    Lastly in my eyes the treatment, subjugation and colonization of the Tibetan people is a living mirror of the horrors visited onto Native Americans by the Europeans and the brutality of Apartheid in South Africa or the destruction in Palestine as well as racist Jim Crow laws and segregation right here in America.

    Remember the saying “No one can do everything, but everyone can do something.”

    Peace.

    – Ernie Paniccioli, author, lecturer, photographer, human being

    Posted in C.R.E.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, Social Upheaval, Straight Laced, The Guest Room, When I Reminisce... | 31 Comments »

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