Archive for the ‘Harpers Weekly Review’ Category

Cry Me A River…

Wednesday, January 16th, 2008

t.o.

Everyone is filled with tears right now from TERRELL OWENS to BRITNEY SPEARS to HILLARY CLINTON. I don’t believe all these crybabies are giving us anything more than alligator tears. There are plenty of people with legitimate reasons to open their tear ducts. Let’s give those folks some shine here at the site.

tejada MIGUEL TEJADA
You see that MARION JONES caught a bad one from her bogus testimony on steroids. What do you think the government has in store for Chico Escuela? “Beisbol has benn berry, berry good to me.” Prison? Not so much…

boston Boston
What city could have the best professional sports teams in the three major American sports yet still have the dumbest fucking populace in the country. It’s time for Bostonians to stop effing each other in the A and watch some ‘Aqua Teen Hunger Force’. It’s a cartoon Boston. Please kill yourselves after the Super Bowl.

stockbroker Stockbrokers
At what point do these money changing scumbags start jumping from their office windows? It won’t be soon enough. Kiss your retirement goodbye. Fuck a 401k, I’m buying myself a coffin.

iraq mother Mothers In Iraq
Blackwater and friends are still in the building. That fact makes you ladies the biggest losers for the fifth year in a row.

Primary Concerns Of The AverageBro…

Monday, January 14th, 2008

avbro coldest ice

Editor’s note: We here at DP Dot Com believe in the democratic principles of equal time for any and all presidential campaigns. RON KUCINICH, get at us. With this principle in place I turn my space (no RUPERT MURDOCH MySpace) over to fellow blogger Average Bro for his description on how BARACK OBAAMA plans to represent for issues concerning Black folks. Personally, I’m more impressed with Average Bro’s writing than I am with OBAAMA’s platform. You folks tell me what you think…

Barack, Hillary, Black America, and The White (Wo)Man’s Colder Ice

An often noted criticism, whether in the blogosphere, black talk radio, cable news, or the barbershop, is that some black folks are hesitant to vote for Barack Obama because they don’t feel he’s “addressed specific issues of interest to black people/black women”, and that this is cause for skepticism. I guess I could buy this argument if those very same people could effectively articulate the “issues” that Obama’s competitors have addressed. When you ask this question of those same folks, you either will get Standard Negro Excuse™ #271 (“What’s that got to do with anything? Answer MY question!”) or a meritless defense of another candidate (“Bill Clinton was the first black President anyway.”). Both responses smell like ass to me, especially when it’s so much easier to search for the answers to these questions with a simple Google search, as opposed to being lazy and expecting Obama, or any candidate, to come to your house and explain their stances over DiGiorno Pizza. Not that that would be a bad thing. I love DiGiorno Pizza. Cause, you know, it’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno.

Just in case you’re interested in what Obama’s done, or is planning on doing for black America, you simply need to visit the thorough but nonthreatening well organized Civil Rights section of the official Obama website. Everything you need to know about the candidate’s stances on issues pertinent to black America is right there, spelled out in layman’s terms for people who need to be spoonfed. I’m not going to bother doing all the legwork for you when all you need to do is click the friggin’ link that follows this post and read for yourself, but here’s a few highlights of Barry’s Plan To Save Black America™. In his words, not mine.

  • GENDER PAY INEQUITY
    For every $1.00 earned by a man, the average woman receives only 77 cents, while African American women only get 67 cents and Latinas receive only 57 cents. Obama will work to overturn the Supreme Court’s recent ruling that curtails racial minorities’ and women’s ability to challenge pay discrimination. Obama will also pass the Fair Pay Act to ensure that women receive equal pay for equal work.
  • HATE CRIMES
    The number of hate crimes increased nearly 8 percent to 7,700 incidents in 2006. Obama will strengthen federal hate crimes legislation and reinvigorate enforcement at the Department of Justice’s Criminal Section.
  • UNEQUAL JUSTICE SYSTEM
    African Americans and Hispanics are more than twice as likely as whites to be searched, arrested, or subdued with force when stopped by police. Disparities in drug sentencing laws, like the differential treatment of crack as opposed to powder cocaine, are unfair. Obama will ban racial profiling by federal law enforcement agencies and provide federal incentives to state and local police departments to prohibit the practice.
  • FIXIN’ UP DA’ HOOD
    Obama will create 20 Promise Neighborhoods in areas that have high levels of poverty and crime and low levels of student academic achievement in cities across the nation. The Promise Neighborhoods will be modeled after the Harlem Children’s Zone, which provides a full network of services, including early childhood education, youth violence prevention efforts and after-school activities, to an entire neighborhood from birth to college.
  • PROMOTING FATHERHOOD
    Obama will sign into law his Responsible Fatherhood and Healthy Families Act to remove some of the government penalties on married families, crack down on men avoiding child support payments, and ensure that payments go to families instead of state bureaucracies.
  • OBAMA’S TRACK RECORD IN ILLINOIS
    Obama has worked to promote civil rights and fairness in the criminal justice system throughout his career. As a community organizer, Obama helped 150,000 African Americans register to vote. As a civil rights lawyer, Obama litigated employment discrimination, housing discrimination, and voting rights cases. As a State Senator, Obama passed one of the country’s first racial profiling law and helped reform a broken death penalty system. And in the U.S. Senate, Obama has been a leading advocate for protecting the right to vote, helping to reauthorize the Voting Rights Act and leading the opposition against discriminatory barriers to voting.
  • THE ACHIEVEMENT GAP
    Obama’s “STEP UP” plan addresses the achievement gap by supporting summer learning opportunities for disadvantaged children through partnerships between local schools and community organizations.
  • PREDATORY LENDING
    The FBI is predicting that mortgage fraud may become a criminal epidemic. In these elaborate schemes, criminals use identity theft or face-to-face scams to gain control of victims’ homes. The offenders then apply for hefty mortgage loans, take the cash, then disappear, robbing homeowners of their property and threatening the financial health of the most vulnerable members of society. Senator Obama introduced the first federal bill to combat mortgage fraud. The STOP FRAUD Act criminalizes mortgage fraud, authorizes $10 million more for anti-mortgage fraud programs and requires the FBI to update bankers on fraudulent activity in a formal, systematic way. The bill also would authorize increased federal funding for mortgage
    counseling.
  • Conspicuously absent, but probably just well hidden: Crime. There was lots of stuff about combating recidivism rates by offering ex-cons more job training, but nothing specifically about reducing murders, etc. Again, I’m sure his stances on this issue are out there, I just couldn’t locate them on his website.

    Either way you dice it, the issues have been well defined. Just because he doesn’t bring them up frequently in debates doesn’t mean he is not concerned with the issues of Black America, and by extension, America.

    Speaking of which, the whole “what’s he gonna do for us?” angle is getting real tired. Let’s not forget, Obama is running for President of the United States, not President of Compton. Black people are barely 12% of the US population nowadays, so expecting him to cater to us and only us is not just delusional, it’s dangerous.

    Black people, perhaps more so than anyone other ethnic group, are notorious for waiting for a Messiah as opposed to rolling up their sleeves and doing some actual work. No President is going to completely solve black on black crime, just as no President can solve the issues of black student underachievement, the disappearing black nuclear family, or out of wedlock births. Our problems are just that. Ours. We didn’t create all of them, but it’s counterproductive to expect someone, anyone, else to fix them.

    [Author’s Note: AvBro.com advocates working with kids in whatever capacity you find most comfortable; be it coaching, mentoring or tutoring, because I think most adults, and for that matter, teens, are already effed’ the eff’ up and thus a lost cause. If a person doesn’t have it figured out by age 18, chances are they’re doomed to a life of idiocy. Getting BET off the air, or outlawing rap music won’t fix any of that. Simply put, if you’re not doing something, anything, to directly improve your community, then please, have a Coke and a smile, and you know the rest. Man up, woman up, and help someone other than yourself! Take the AverageBro Challenge™, or do us all a favor and H.S.D.!!!]

    What angers me is the slave-like mentality with which some black people judge Obama. While it’s fair to expect a black man to bring a different sensibility to the Oval office, I think it’s borderline self-hate to question his dedication to certain issues when you wouldn’t ask the same of the other candidates. This, to me, is the embodiment of “the white man’s ice being colder”.

    [Author’s Note: Yeah, I know dry ice is technically colder than regular ice, but don’t let semantics get in the way of my point.]

    Nobody is saying you should vote for Obama “just cause’ he’s black”. That’s the definition of idiocy. But equally idiotic is not voting for him “just cause’ he’s black” without bothering to know what he advocates and pretending he doesn’t have any official stance just because you haven’t heard a 10 second soundbite on your local news. Wake up, and stop depending on barbershop word of mouth to educate you on everything!

    I’m all for being an informed voter, thus the crapload of links that follow. But if you’re going to be lazy and not do the very basic research to inform yourself about each candidate and what they stand for, yet for some reason think it’s ok to expect more of one candidate than others, then you my friend are just downright triflin’. Please do as all a favor on November 4th and stay your dumb ass at home playing PS3 and watching Judge Mathis. I don’t need your dumb vote cancelling out mine.

    Shit, where are poll taxes and literacy tests when you really need em’!!?!? Damned Jim Crow Laws!!!!

    I’ll step off my box of Lever 2000, but if you’re still unsure of where each candidate stands, please take 10 minutes to peruse their sites and get familiar. But please, whatever you do, don’t pretend that candidates haven’t directly addressed issues of interest to Black America. They all have.

    Just because you haven’t heard about it, doesn’t mean it hasn’t been said.

    Question: Have you heard other people using this “he ain’t said nothin’ ’bout helpin’ black folks” line of reasoning for not supporting Obama? How do you typically respond to this slave mentality?

    Barack Obama’s Issues Section on BarackObama.com

    Hillary’s Clinton’s Issues Section on HillaryClinton.com

    John Edwards Issues Section on JohnEdwards.com

    The War Report by MAXINE

    Wednesday, January 9th, 2008

    warriors

    Editor’s note: Peep shorty rock in the flick above. Sonn still got his tie pulled up like he is ready for business. Our Rocky Mountains bureau chief MAXINE dials in with a banging new years drop that takes no prisoners. Even though I personally don’t trust the Africans I have to realize what their failed democracies speak about my system of government.


    *So you niggas change your attitude ‘for they asking what happened to you. -Jay-Z ‘Lucifer’*

    As much as I fucks with Heidi Collins and the kid Tony Harris over at CNN, this shit right here, AIN’T for the kids. Listen up! Turn off your TV’s, and for GAWD’s sake, delete your motherfucking myspace pages. There’s a war going on, and it’s gonna be us, or them.

    No Raila, No Peace! No Raila, No Peace!

    Kenya is FUCKED people. I mean it is fucked the fuck up! The violent political unrest in Kenya is unlike any in the history of the country called the most “stable democracy in Africa.” Since December 30, over 600 people have been killed, not taking into account the number of rapes, forced circumcisions, and mass female genital mutilation, all over a crooked political election! If people were this fired up in 2000 (or 2004 for that matter), just imagine what the fuck could have happened? If we gave one motherfuck about the vote and the power behind it, Florida would have never been the same. Bush’s margin of victory was 537 votes. That number decided the outcome of the country for the next 8 years and beyond.

    Needless to say, this shit is not flying in Kenya. Right after incumbent President Kibaki was declared the winner, opposition supporters (Raila’s people) took to the streets, burning shops, shacks, and anyone who dared get in the way. The Kenyans got it right. The Electoral Commission, similar to the U.S. Electoral College has fucked the people and the system it defends will continue to rule with corruption and deceit until its subsequent dissolution. In order to win the Presidential race in Kenya, the candidate must receive 25 percent of the vote, or at least five of Kenya’s eight provinces to avoid a run-off. Kibaki only got 3!

    In U.S. terms this is like pitting a state like New Mexico which only has 5 electoral votes or some shit, against California which has 55. The proportions don’t match! The difference in what’s happening in Kenya now, what happened in 2000, and what could potentially happen here in November 2008 is that no one is going to do a motherfucking thing. Elections have been rigged for as long as we can remember, and it’s not just the Republicans. The Dems did it for JFK in Chicago; in what ended in the most famous coups of our time.

    So many countries have tried to model their political systems after America’s, only to find that it’s all fucked the fuck up from the word Go. I come from the school of Marxist theory; the government represents the interest of the dominant class, and eventually those being oppressed will raise the fuck up against those doing the oppressing. That’s what happened in Kenya. The Proletariats are fired the fuck up and sick of being shitted on everyday by the motherfucking government. Don’t call it a comeback bitches, they’ve been here for years. This is nothing new.

    The media will pass this unrest off as economic destruction. Of course!!! Now that it’s not safe for Alex Trebeck, Warren Buffet, and Goldie motherfucking Hawn to go traipsing through Kenya on their “cultural safaris,” you better believe we’re talking about economy!

    I, for one am sick of this shit. I’m an emotional voter ok? That means that the facts matter, but how it will affect me and mine matters more. Damn right I voted yes on 100A, the pro-Marijuana initiative! What would you expect? I think I speak for all Proletariats when I say, FUCK the status quo. I’m sick of the same cats running this shit. Can we get that *Detox* album?

    Mr. Obama, I’m riding with you. Hardcore, I sent in my $20 months ago! Allow me to say though, that even if healthcare was “affordable,” poor people wouldn’t ‘buy’ health insurance, that money would be spent on SUV’s. The point being is that social sentiment goes a helluva longer way than economic rehabilitation. Why? As long as you’re driving around in the new ’08 Escalade, all fruits are ripe. We overlook the obvious for obvious reasons, to quote Kanye, “you got D’s mufucker, D’s! Rosie Perez.” None of us are passing the test, and it isn’t always because we didn’t study.

    As long as the current election system is in place, we will have to raise as much hell as possible to get real results. I’m not saying go and burn down the elementary school next door, but it is time to stand up. It’s time to send the message to those doing the oppressing, in all aspects of the system. I can feel it in the air. I can hear the bitch in your voice. I’m passing the blunt to the left on you cats. I hold your glass straight up when I poor your Stout, asshole. You’re as cold as ice…someday you’ll pay the price. I know.

    Pfffft.

    Fuck this man.


    *throws headphones*.

    A Referendum On Lightskinded Negroes…

    Tuesday, January 8th, 2008

    ccuin

    What the fuck is going on internets?!? Just last week I proclaimed that 2008 would be the year that lightskinded negroes returned to the top of the non-white food chain. On the strength of entertainers like the ubiquitous BeYonce and the earthen toned entertainer Common we were on a roll.

    In just one weekend in January shit has gotten all scary again for us good hair brothers. First, Elliott Wilson, the editor in chief at XXL is killed. Figuratively, I’ll assume, although Harris Publications does put out more gun magazines than your average.

    Secondly, the good-haired jig boy pictured above went all Hannibal Lechter and put his girlfriend in his mother’s cook up pot. Christopher Lee McCuin, you are fucking up the racial spectrum. Black people do not cook and eat people. Leave that shit to white along with curling.

    Just when I was going to get into my Al B Sure ‘In Effect Mode’ some lightskinded negroes are effing up my swagger. I’m on my way to the supermarket now to pick up some curl activator to place on my altar. Tony Dungy, you need to get a win the weekend and put us back on top of this Black bullshit.

    ‘Black Coach’ theme song – Jay Smooth @ illdoctrine dot com

    THE WRITER’s GUILD STRIKES OUT…

    Monday, January 7th, 2008

    wgae hat

    My Writer’s Guild cap = virtually worthless…

    For most intensive purposes the Writer’s Guild strike has been a striking failure. The daily fake news shows and late night talk shows will be aired live again starting today before the striking writers have reached any agreements with the production studios.

    This sucks on so many levels I can’t even begin to count them. Firstly, trade unions are reeling nationwide because their membership no longer cares about the next generation of tradesmen that will inherit these unions in the future.

    Surely there was a lack of credible union leadership being expressed from the Writer’s Guild management but at the end of the day these tradesmen needed to take a stand for themselves and their rights. Evidently the wealth inside of the WGA membership has turned these men into mice.

    I will continue to forge ahead with content and information created directly for the internets, but I am reminded that if I ever receive the opportunity to expand my platform it will be under the provisions outside of my control. The writers have ceded their intellectual property over to the studios for rebroadcast on any platform the studios choose.

    Residuals have paid many mortgages to homes that people would otherwise not be able to afford and put many a kid through an expensive college that they probably didn’t deserve to go to either. I normally champion the cause that refutes privilege and dismantles the status quo. The only reason these writers deserved to win this fight was not because they are a noble courageous lot, which they are not, but because the studios already have more money than they know what to do with.