Archive for the ‘Harpers Weekly Review’ Category

We Almost Lost Detroit…

Monday, November 19th, 2007

dee twah

My homey, The Big Homie, over at My Hangover went in with the latest published crime statistics for big cities. Detroit, Michigan is the best of the worst, back on top where they belong.

I have never been to another city quite like the ‘D’. The rate of homelessness for African American males is totally absurd. This hyper-realized poverty is what drives the crime rate up. Detroit is so poor that I witnessed a shuttered and derelict Foot Locker store. When Black folks are too broke to buy sneakers then you know that shit is fucked the fuck up over there. Shout to GIL SCOT-HERON on this track…


‘We Almost Lost Detroit’

Here’s the list of the top twenty five U.S. cities if your goal is to live on the bottom…

1. Detroit, Michigan
2. St. Louis, Missouri
3. Flint, Michigan
4. Oakland, California
5. Camden, New Jersey
6. Birmingham, Alabama
7. North Charleston, South Carolina
8. Memphis, Tennessee
9. Richmond, California
10. Cleveland, Ohio
11. Orlando, Florida
12. Baltimore, Maryland
13. Little Rock, Arkansas
14. Compton, California
15. Youngstown, Ohio
16. Cincinnati, Ohio
17. Gary, Indiana
18. Kansas City, Missouri
19. Dayton, Ohio
20. Newark, New Jersey
21. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
22. Atlanta, Georgia
23. Jackson, Mississippi
24. Buffalo, New York
25. Kansas City, Kansas

A few notes come to mind as I review the list…

  • Ohio as a state should just kill itself
  • Philly is so fucked the fuck up that they even made Camden shitty
  • No matter which Kansas City you live in, you stay losing
  • T.I. singlehandedly helped Atlanta get their weight up with his arsenal collection
  • The south stays winning, er, losing
  • The War On Terror = 190 Pairs Of Nike Dunks

    Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

    dj khaled

    Editor’s note: This drop comes from The Ambassador who normally gets her grind on at HipHop DX dot com (MekaSoul stand the fuck up!). Since we were discussing the outrageous integer of 1.6trillion I thought I would let her go in on what that number means to her. To be honest, after reading this I may never buy myself another pair of Nike Dunks. Awww, who are we kidding?!?

    It should be no new information that I’m a broke as shit college student, so undoubtedly my perceptions about monetary amounts are a little bit skewed. $5 to me is like $50 most of the time. But I don’t particularly don’t give a 2-girls 1-cup* shit about how rich any of you e-thugs are (unless you want to donate to my college fund). $1.6 trillion is a lot of fucking money, and you can’t deny that, just like Lil Wayne can’t deny that he has a thing for dropping the soap (no hetero).

    Gotta love the Democrats sometimes though. Yeah, they’re still some good for nothing, conspiracy theorist food for thought just like their Republican counterparts, but at least the Democrats don’t hesitate to call out the shenanigans of their blackgolddigging political opposites. Well, assuming that the Democrats aren’t lying, that is. Which wouldn’t be too unrealistic considering they are also politicians and well…aw, fuck it, just listen to a Dead Prez album on your own time. I got other shit to talk about.

    The Democraps have gotten their hands on a report that compiles statistics and data taken from the Congressional Budget Office, which claims to be a nonpartisan organization (word?), that states that from 2002 to 2008, the war on terror (our wars vs. Afghanistan and Iraq, aka “Operation Fuel Hatred Towards South Asians That People Mistakenly Assume Are Middle Eastern Jihadists Because They’re Dark Skinned, Hairy, Stink of Body Odor and Cheap Cologne, and Speak With An Accent”**) will have cost our country approximately $1.6 trillion. “So what?” you say? “That’s our national debt, shit, I don’t have to pay that off myself, I’m still making that cake – I don’t give a fuck about the war!” Word to Monty Python: my friend, I fart in your general (ignorant) direction.

    It has been calculated that given the $1.6 trillion figure, the average (four person) American family has paid upwards of $20,900 towards funding the Afghanistan and Iraq wars. Maybe it’s just my broke ass, but almost twenty one thousand dollars is a whole fucking lot to me. Like the lil’ homey NaSir would say, “Let’s put it all in perspective…”

    serena dunks

    1 pair of NIKEiD.com customized Dunk lows = $110.
    $20,900 divided by $110 = 190 pairs of Dunks (roughly DP’s collection).

    Ayo! Not only does that say that Nike charges a whole hell of a lot for its sweatshop produced goods (we can discuss that another day), but that says that we, the American people, are getting internally kidney poked [ll] by our government. Now, mind you, not all of this amount is made up of direct war costs. Parts of it are speculated side effects of the war . Line items such as interest rates on the money we’ve borrowed for funding the war, thus smoking our national debt out with that sticky Ben Franklin green to the point that it’s at the $9 trillion dollar level. The historically highest ever. Somebody grab our debt a bag of Doritos, stat! We got some serious munchies on our hands. Alongside of that, potential health care costs for injured soldiers and the costs of the shit-tastic oil market are taken into account in this $1.6 trillion figure.

    Most of you reading this just lost your 190 pairs of Dunks, or quite possibly a full year of your work earnings, to not finding Bin Laden or weapons of mass destruction. To losing many of our civilians’ innocent lives in the battle. To getting Al-Qaeda more pissed at us than ever. To funding wars that you may not have supported in the first place.

    Thank Allah (no Abdul Raheem) that it’s almost the end of Bush’s term. Thank Allah that Dallas promised me a pair of Dunks if I consistently throw drops at DP Dot Com. I’ll only have 189 more pairs to go.

    *You can find that one on your own. I will not be held responsible for you puking your lunch all over your keyboard. You have been warned.

    ** My sincere apologies go out to all of the Indian/Bangladeshis that have caught some post September 11th racist slack from ignorant YT’s that don’t know a Syrian from a Sri Lankan. All my 7-11 workers, taxi drivers, and restaurant owners – I still love you. I know you’re not terrorists.

    ambassador The Ambassador says…
    “Punks jump up to get beat down!”

    POLITRICKS 2008: Pay Now, AND Pay Later…

    Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

    iraq money

    One point six trillion. Just say that to yourself. Trillion doesn’t even sound like a real word. That sounds like some made up shit that crunk rappers might use. “Chillaxin in the trap with a trillion hos keep it trill.”

    Supposedly, trillion is the designation for numbers exceeding billion. How the fuck do you go higher than a billion? I remember when a million was a fantasy numeral. Now you can buy a hguman skull embedded with diamonds for over a million dollars. Was I high or something when we leapfrogged over the years where a billion was that mystery number? It seems like we just went from the ‘Six Million Dollar Man’ in the one point six trillion dollar debt.

    Report: Iraq, Afghan wars cost U.S. $1.6 trillion so far

    Here’s why I’m so confused…

    The Six Million Dollar Man could do all kinds of super powered shit. We could have sent a hundred of them into Iraq and Afghanistan and that wouldn’t have cost us more than say… $800 million. Do you know how many Six Million Dollar Men we can buy for one point six trillion? Over two hundred and sixty thousand, or twice the number of U.S. troops in Iraq right now.

    Since we all know that the government hasn’t been spending even a million dollars on each of our soldiers sent into the desert the question becomes where has ALL of this money has gone? In simple mathematical numbers without the addition of fantasy termsa like trillion or even billion it is plain to see how fucked in the ass our economy will be. Paying off this war will mean that China will pwn our asses until my grandkids’ grandkids reach maturity.

    Which presidential candidate will be hardbody enough to say the truth?

    BENAZIR BHUTTO’s Gangster Bitch Chronicles by MAXINE

    Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

    benazir bhutto

    Editor’s note: MAXINE is one of the new voices that will come through and bless us with some drops. Peep homegirl’s game and how she goes in right out of the gate.

    What do Benazir Bhutto and Irv Gotti have in common? Money laundering charges. What don’t they have in common? $1.5 Billion and a reality show, can you guess who has what?

    Benazir Bhutto is a Pakistani politician and the first elected woman to do a whole bunch of shit you won’t remember by the end of this drop. The “Supreme B,” as I like to call her, has been running shit by way of her associates for a long time, beginning with her father Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, a former premier of Pakistan and founder of the Pakistan People’s Party (PPP), the largest and most influential political party in the whole country.

    B’s father was dismissed as Prime Minister in 1975 on charges of corruption and conspiracy to merc’k the father of a political opponent, because of this, he was sentenced to death (by then President Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq) and subsequently hanged Saddam style in 1979. In the aftermath of Papa Bhutto’s execution, B went on to become a leader in exile of the PPP, acting as the direct opposition to anything anti-democracy and thus building trust amongst dipshits, I mean, diplomats in the western world, aka, American diplomats.

    In 1988, the PPP (B’s front for power) won the largest bloc of seats in the National Assembly, Bhutto thereby becoming the Prime Minister of Muslim Pakistan (So this really means she didn’t win the election so much as she had her people thug-style their way in, kinda like what Jim Jones and Juelz attempted to do at Chris Brown’s party).

    Still looking for those Gotti comparisons? In 1990, B was dismissed on conspiracy and corruption charges and was re-elected in 1993, only to be dismissed again on, you guessed it, conspiracy and corruption charges. This is only the beginning of a career plagued by controversy, corruption, house arrest and other shady shit. I don’t have time to fill in all the blanks for you, and besides, Pakistan could be fucking pine needles and farm animal straw by the time you’re done reading this, but what I’ve come up with is this, Benazir Bhutto has more in common with your favorite rapper/mogul than you may realize. Here are a few common denominators I’ve come up with to start us off…

  • Appointment to a position that some may deem “controversial”
  • An appearance of being “for the people” while really fucking the people
  • A direct incestuous connect to the game, via, some family member, preferably father figure
  • Accusations of corruption and money laundering to further finance some other shitty side project
  • Her friends/weed carriers keep getting killed
  • You with me? Now, who fits the criteria? Let’s start off with some of the usual suspects…

    irving Irv Gotti
    In 2005, Gotti and his brother were accused of laundering drug money through Murder Inc to Kenneth ‘Supreme’ McGriff. There’s speculation that said dollars went to protecting Murder Inc (didn’t Ja get his ass whipped in Queens like 2 summers ago?) and for Supreme’s crew to act as enforcers for Gotti and Co. I actually like the more accepted theory about using that money to kill Curtis ’50Cent’ Jackson but hey, who am I? Both brothers were acquitted of all money laundering charges but suffered blows to both financial stability and street credibility.

    jay Jay-Z
    In 2004 or somewhere around there, Jay accepted the position as President of Def Jam Records, looking to lead the struggling company back to the top. As a part of the deal with Jay, Universal Music Group (read: the motherfuckers who are really running this rap shit) also acquired Roc-a-fella Records and all other ventures under said name, kinda like Bhutto did with the PPP. So alright, I’m not that upset about this particular Carter Administration. I couldn’t really give a fuck about those starving artists over there (I’m a writer okay?), nor do I care about him promoting shitty music over GOOD music (I’ve never owned a Rhianna album and don’t plan on it). What I DO care about is the Brooklyn Nets arena project which could force tons of cats that have been living in Brooklyn for ages out of their homes. Mostly due to gentrification as a result of the luxury motherfucking condo’s coming into the borough. Fuck you Bruce Ratner, I don’t believe you, you need more people, you asshole.

    clifford T.I. (the rapper, not the racists)
    Bhutto hadn’t even been in the fucking country for 24 hours when 2 explosions occurred after she landed at the airport in Karachi, those Jihadist motherfuckers were not playing when they said stay out of their hood. She told the government this would happen, they didn’t give a fuck. You may remember T.I. and Co. got chased out of Cincy a while back, ending in his best friend’s death. He still can’t fuck with the ‘Supreme B’ though, 136 dead (with most being bodyguards or political allies of Bhutto’s) and 450 injured. Clifford, not even your little closet arsenal can fucks with Benazir.

    diddy Sean Combs
    I know, I know, he’s really NOT a rapper, even though he thinks he is, BUT he qualifies because his dad was reportedly a gangster. Can anyone verify the cause of death for Melvin?

    lil wang Lil Wayne
    Stuntin’ like my daddy. Need I say more? I could but it’d be too easy.

    Word on the streets of Islamabad is that The ‘Supreme B’ has about $1.5 Billion chillin in some offshore account and is about ready to wreck some shit. She’s been sneaking in a few punches here and there, kinda like Saigon and Prodigy, but different. Watch out Musharraf, you don’t wanna rumble with this queen B do ya?

    By the way, they call me Maxine, nice to meet ya.

    POLITRICKS 2008: What’s The 4-1-1? Still 9-1-1.

    Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

    rudy

    RUDOLPH GIULIANI has been receiving MSM praise recently for speaking publicly without referring to the terrorist attacks on the World trade Center for almost thirty whole minutes. This is a sign that he may one day be able to speak for a whole hour without bringing out any more anecdotes of that fateful day burned into most of our collective consciousness. I doubt it though.

    I don’t see why GIULIANI would even consider changing the game plan that has worked so well for him. Everything he has done in his political career up to this point has been centered around the fact that he may have better timing than a Swiss watchmaker. In politricks, good timing is even better than the truth. For a moment I’d like to dispel a few of the myths inside of the GIULIANI canon so that when you hear these talking points being pushed over the next twelve months you will be able to separate fact from fiction.

  • Myth #1: GIULIANI takes down the mob
  • The mob was so played out by the time RUDOLPH GIULIANI had his first assignment carrying weed for ALPHONSE D’AMATO. Actually, the Italian mob, which GIULIANI takes the credit for dismantling, was already on the skids. Meanwhile, the thorough Reds(Ruskies and Gooks) were handling their business like it was the Friday after Thanksgiving.

  • Myth #2: GIULIANI is a crime-stopper
  • Since most people in this country treat books like they carry the AIDS virus not too many folks have gone in on the book called ‘Freakonomics’. There is some heavy shit inside that book. One of the ideas they have proffered is that the birth control revolution that decreased the national birthrate in the 1980’s also decreased the national crime rate twenty years later. It wasn’t just NYC which saw a drop in violent crime, but the country as a whole. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, and speaking about mafia connections, BERNARD KERIK, GIULIANI’s consummate chronic carrier(no Spliff Star) is facing a Federal tax evasion and racketeering indictment.

  • Myth #3: GIULIANI is a 9-1-1 hero
  • Did you know that RUDOLPH GIULIANI dodged the Vietnam War by claiming he was going into the seminary? A man that will lie on GOD does not give a flying fuck about anything else. Non-New Yorkers don’t know how sick this city had become of GIULIANI and his equally opportunistic, family-wrecking, socialite girlfriend JUDITH NATHAN. Between KERIK, and NATHAN, GIULIANI had already created a public cocoon of bodyguards and defenders who refused to tell the king that he wore no underpants. That selfish insulation and lack of respect for anyone outside of his inner circle is why the Fire Department personnel would lack the communication devices necessary to save their lives before the Towers collapsed. If a somber, yet insincere press conference after thousands of people have needlessly died is what America wants for a president then RUDY should win hands down because that is what the Iraq aftermath will be.

  • Myth #4: GIULIANI is a Yankee fan
  • Anyone that claims to be a lifelong Yankee fan, and then roots for the Boston Red Sox can’t be trusted on his word under any conditions. Evar.