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I gotta come home tonight straight from the day job. I’m sick right now. When I was younger I could go in for an entire week. Nowadays I am usually undone by my first night, fuck a second consecutive night of obamas.

Check this site out called The Minority Report. That’s my homey AL DEEZY. He’ll plug you to all that shit that is young, fresh and clean. AL listed this obama at a sneaker store in SoHo called Premium Laces. Since I have never been there i thought I would fall through and see what the scene was like. Plus it was an obama. By the time I left my office I knew there would only be an hour or so left of the party. I got there just in time to tap off the last cup of Skyy vodka and cranberry juice.

The party was for the launch of some line of t-shirts. Yawn. If you are dreaming about starting a clothing line please set yourself on fire while you are asleep. The world does not need anymore printed t-shirts. BTW, if you are looking for some cheap tees I just copped some Polo Ralph Lauren joints at Syms for $10 cent apiece. ‘Nuff said. That spot was dead so I motivated along Spring Street to the westside to catch the Eighth Avenue line to the moviehouse. As I ambled along Spring Street I laughed at the Black kids on skateboards. The old man in me called them “cliché ass niggas”. I secretly wished I could still ride a skateboard.

The skate dudes went into the Von Dutch store and I heard loud music playing there definitely from a DJ setup. I walked past sonn with the list because y’all already know and through the door to see another obama in full swing with better looking people than the first one and no shortage of liquor either. The free hooch in this spot was called T2. It was a tequila with taurine (yipes!) from Holland. This must be the shit that they give you in Amsterdam to get you all fucked the fuck up so that they can cut out your pancreas and leave you bled the fuck up in a back alley.

Who came up with the idea to mix tequila with taurine, AND caffeine to boot? Is that shit even legal? I stole a bottle. Whoever is having a barbecue in NYC and invites me will get to taste this wild shit. I’m mixing in $2 worth of fresh limes with two quarts of PAUL NEWMAN’s Limeade and this T2 shit. I’m sure that furniture will be broken after we’re done. Oh shit, before I forget, my good friend ANITA BRYANT was up in this piece. She is part of the Sista Factory collective. Definitely fucks with them if you go in for J*Davey, Ledisi, RES and any sisters that do that smoothed out R & B.

Me and ANITA both noticed that there were clearly too many kids inside of the store drinking that T2 when they were only old enough for Tang. Damn you Von Dutch. This is what happens when a clothing company is washed up. They resort to plying kids with alcohol. I wonder what the inventory shrink will be like at the end of the night? Who the fuck cares? Von Dutch is only for 13yr old suburban chicks with Swarovski stones on their cell phones. I kept my shit moving with my bottle in my back pocket. Copped a slice from Famous Ben’s. I’m winning…

I almost gave away mye green variant Marvel Legends Hulk. I was just gonna mail it out to someone like eff it. I’m glad I kept it now. I mailed the Marvel Legends Colossus to my nigga from Start Snitching and instead of saying thanks that nigga was like “how much is Marvel paying you to give these out?” WTF?!? This is why I don’t fucks with Black people. Just white, and an occasional asian motherfucker. Start Snitching is still my peoples tho’. The Marvel Legends Colossus was going for $60 cent at the last comic con. The only thing about collectibles, and basically anything in general is that shit is only worth what someone is willing to spend on it.

*Still have the Beta Ray Bill / Loki package available if you want to copp*

The Incredible Hulk film was effing church. Combat Jack held back on his assessment. The shit about Hulk is that it wasn’t supposed to be the thrill ride that Iron Man was. The Hulk is on some sensitive, cerebral shit. Sonn is stuck walking around with a monster inside of him that can fuck up a decent wardrobe if shit pops off wrong. The story is about research scientists trying to keep the military from weaponizing their discoveries. The only problem is that the military has their hands in all kinds of shit and they won’t stop, because they can’t stop fucking up shit.

All the actors were sublime and no one was over the top. ROBERT DOWNEY Jr.’s cameo as Tony Stark was a bit extra. Marvel is going so hard right now with these film projects it almost makes the DC brand appear cartoonish even though they are live action. DC’s problem is essentially crafting movies that have a fidelity to the characters and actual storylines. Marvel stays winning because they play close attention to the connection and continuity of their comic books. Think about it, that’s why we were all gathered there in the theater at midnight on a schoolnight in the first place.

If you haven’t seen the new Hulk movie yet go do that this weekend. If you still haven’t seen ‘Iron Man’ yet then go bang your pinky toes with a ball peen hammer. Both of these movies, along with ‘Speed Racer’ have made this season one of the all-time illmatic cinematic summers. We haven’t even gotten to the July releases yet. I’m about to have an effing nerd attack. Best cameo in the Incredible Hulk was LOU FERRIGNO as the pizza loving security guard. STAN LEE’s was cool, but you gotta love big LOU. The audience definitely showed their love. You will too.

ESOTERIC, 7L and TERMANOLOGY – ‘Incredible Hulk Rap’