It was easy enough for a talented comic like DAVE CHAPELLE to parody the Pied Piper, but when you create music so intoxicating that even hipsters have to put down their Jamba Juice to pick up a pen, then you are more than an artist.
Peep this joint by iNternets Celebrities MIMI & FLO – ‘Same Dude’
For more crazy SYLVESTER shit go to IFC dot com and pick up the Trapped In The Closet series episodes 13-20.
The Black Widow was a Russian super spy named Natasha Romanoff (yeah, I know) and I first got to see her in action when she teamed up with Spider-Man. I loved her skintight navy catsuit and her dark auburn red hair. Black Widow had been injected with the formula similar to the one that allowed Captain America to never age. She might be like eighty years old now. That’s hot to me. Redheads are natural freaks, but a Russian redhead is a gangbang shorty.
Black Widow has had her back blown out by so many different Marvel character’s it’s a good thing she had that super serum in her blood otherwise she would have the AIDS by now. Spider-Man, DareDevil, Hawkeye, Tony Starks, Hercules, Red Guardian and Nick Fury all tasted the Black Widow’s er… stinger. Hell, even mute ass Black Bolt got a piece of that ass.
Now I’m not saying I wouldn’t still hit it, because I would. I just wouldn’t leave my wallet laying around when I fell off to sleep. Why you think they call that shit the Gulag? Because it’s gully as fuck.
UPDATE:
Rampage scraped it…
So did Johnny Blaze.
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– “Cotdamned commie whoare!” |
“Two years ago, a friend of mine, asked me to say some emcee rhymes” – (c)JOSEPH ‘Run’ SIMMONS
It was only two years ago that DP Dot Com became a live and direct website after years of existing as only a friends and family e-mail blast. In these two short years we have gained dozens of actual family and friends while moving into a noticeable position among the internets hip urban based information channels. We wouldn’t be here without the dedication and love of all of you that are reading this drop now. Your comments have given us the motivation to continue this endeavor even though money gets tight and morale gets low. Give yourselves a round of applause for choosing the red pill. You folks can handle the truth.
The other factor that keeps the lights on at DP Dot Com is the resolve of the administration that drops jew-ells on this site with such a regularity that you almost don’t even have to leave this URL to stay in touch with the world. Almost. That is due to the hard work of a core of people that write content for these webpages so that at least you have something productive to do while you are at work fucking the fuck off. Let’s take a minute during the two year anniversary of Dallas Penn Dot Com to acknowledge the people that keeps the lights on at this bitch…
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CHOCOLATE SNOWFLAKE C.S. pwns this bitch. She authorizes the HTML codes and she pays the fucking bandwidth bills. So when you see the Captain talking sassy about getting some white action just know that he has C.S.’s blessing already. Well, not so much blessing in as much understanding that the Captain can’t do shit without her making sure that the domain name stays paid for. |
| CAPTAIN BILLY SUNDAY The captain was shipwrecked some thirty years ago when leaving ‘Nam on a Korean junk sailboat. He was lost at sea for over twenty years only to wash up in the Phillipines as a captive to a pirate slave colony. This is where he developed his love for NIKE sneakers while working in a leather sweatshop in Namphong. The captain is a lover of all kinds of esoteric bullshit and the what not, but the main thing to note is that he is a lover. |
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COMBAT JACK If Haiti had an organized army then COMBAT JACK would be like their COLIN POWELL mashed up with DENMARK VESEY. As it were he comes to DP Dot Com to expose the entertainment industry for their crooks and liars. Occasionally he will review a movie based upon a comic book, but don’t think for a minute that his review won’t be the most hardbody shit you ever read. |
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TONY’s KANSAS CITY Only at DP Dot Com will you find a Mexican that doesn’t do any stereotypical work in order to receive his sub minimum wages. Mostly though, TONY likes to live in America, because everything’s free in America, but for a small fee in America. |
| 40 DAWG DP’s security force begins and ends with a six foot seven inch, three hundred twenty five pound former offensive lineman. 40 will also give the people a thought provoking drop from time to time in between bottles of Olde Gold and his modeling gig for Mighty Healthy NYC. |
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SHORTY WHITEBREAD The last DP Dot Com intern went on to a teaching position at Columbia University (true story). The sky’s the limit for Shorty Whitebread and he hasn’t let a poor thyroid derail his plans. I think he could be the next president of these here United snakes. |
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‘YE TUDDA We had to put someone on who knew what the grandpa bear sweater was. |
| THE ‘HOOD FAIRY The ‘Hood Fairy helps DP Dot Com stay fresh to def by searching around for fly shit for us to add to the archived collection. In a few more years the ‘Hood Fairy will be invaluable as she directs us to where all the fairies of legal age are hanging out getting their drink on. |
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UNCLE RUCKUS DP Dot Com needs someone who recognizes some sweet pink toe poon when it’s on the streets. RUCKUS made sure that we contracted other bloggers like H8TORADE and iFUX for their massive collections of KIM KARDASHIAN nude pix. |
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HIGH AZZ LLOYD BANKS Fisty Scent’s number one weedcarrier is the dude that rides his Redline BMX to bring us the monthly check from Harris Publications. |
And there you have it. A quick rundown of some of the characters that make this site that official crack in HTML form.
Relax… It’s not that serious. The story is this…
COMBAT JACK and I had a disagreement over who would own the sales charts for the opening week when the new KanYe and Curtis albums drop on September 11th. Your boy is rolling with ‘YE TUDDA, and COMBAT JACK chose Fisty (nullus, like you already know). We haven’t decided yet what the winner gets and more is on the line here than just a pair of sneakers.
In order to tip the scales in my favor I thought I’d play some of the ‘YE TUDDA instrumentals to the hits you already know.
BONUS BEATS: Before I wore Prada, I rocked a Starter…
Click here for link to Prada Sample Sale
I beat my bitch with a stick!
A few weeks ago BYRON CRAWFORD came to New York City to partake of the histrionically white Rock The Bells concert. The next thing you know a twister touches down in Brooklyn (sans Big Macs). WTF is that about? Don’t them shits only happen in the Midwest? There are a lot of new transplants in the city from the Midwest so maybe one of those meatbags brought that shit with them too.
Well there is no such thing as a coincidence when some pussy-whipped high school dropout kills his beautiful girlfriend after reading Bol’s drop on the godawful Sean Kingston song. He later supposedly tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists on the roof of a housing project before he was apprehended. I would say that was a pretty lame ass attempt since homey could have just jumped the ten or so stories and landed on his head, but maybe this dude Michael Cordero was actually using his head instead?
If I was dude’s lawyer, er, public defender, I would just publicly state that the use of synths and vocoders in the Hip-Hop song ‘Beautiful Girls’ intoxicated him into action because he thought his girlfriend was leaving him. Blaming rock lyrics for suicides is totally retro, but blaming Hip-Hop songs for inciting murder is taking shit back to the future. I’m not saying that he still won’t get served a grip of time, but when all the focus gets shifted onto the back of Hip-Hop dude might end up with a manslaughter sentence. I can’t speak for the alleged perpetrator, but if I were him I would blame everything I did on that damn song.
Read about the case…
Boyfriend of Victim Slits Wrists, Police Say
Now listen to the song…
SEAN KINGSTON – ‘Beautiful Girls’
C’mon?!? How could you not blame this crime on that stupid song? If I’ve learned anything in the last several months about how rap music has become a pariah in American culture akin to Osama Bin Laden, it’s that money is being made by all the confusion. I think Sean Kingston’s label should press up a billion CD singles and sell them at Starbucks. Oprah will be pulling out her domestic violence programming, AND it’s summer sweeps week to boot. You know the lawyers are gonna get their chips up from this shit too. The merc’ked broads mom should be filing a lawsuit against Sean Kingston as you read this now. And all of this wild shit is going down just because Bol brought his Midwest country ass to New York City.
Dayum. Nullus to the fullest.