Archive for the ‘HUFF YOU!’ Category

POLITRICKS 2008: Kill White Tee!

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

obaama

Now if I did a run of ‘Kill White Tee’ shirts using this graphic wouldn’t I be guilty of the same supremacy sensationalism as the New Yorker magazine? Actually, I’d like to think that the conversations my shirts would start would be more productive, but I would still be putting graphics into the public realm for people to misinterpret.

The latest flare up concerning OBAAMA indirectly has to do with the hipster designer who created a t-shirt proclaiming that ‘Obama Is My Slave’. I kind of find that funny too. The designer says that he created that shirt because that is the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant view of the Democratic party’s candidate for president.

Right there, the t-shirt designer became a shitbag. Who the fuck knows what anyone has kicking around in their head? He may be right after all, but the declaration that someone else is the supremacist and not himself is cowardly. No one should buy the designs of a coward.

I don’t feel too bad for the chick who was duffed out in Union Square NYC whiler wearing that ‘Obama Is My Slave’ t-shirt. She should have vetted her apparel designer more thoroughly instead of just buying some provactive schmatte. Now some young girls have been arrested for doing the right thing (no Spike Lee) and kicking her ass.

Let this be a lesson to anyone who has the noble intention of sparking a conversation through the use of irony. Get your shirts from a reputable source, and not some skinny jeans faggot trying to score a buck. I don’t call the designer a faggot because I think he is a homo. His sexuality isn’t even part of the debate. I call him a faggot because he is setting people up to get their asses kicked and then using a lawyer to defend his right to print bullshit on a t-shirt.

Plus, he ain’t got the irony down right.

kwt

Dilation ‘N Curettage by MAXINE

Thursday, July 17th, 2008

gyn

Editor’s note: DP Dot Com’s Rocky Mountain correspondent MAXINE drops by to say “Hi haters!”

The United States of America is a fucking bleeding uterus in need of a full hysterectomy, or something that will clear out the decaying, rotting, decomposing putrid policies of old. Got your attention? The DNC (dilation and curettage) is a medical procedure that literally refers to opening the cervix and surgically removing its contents.

According to my homeboy who is in med school, the first step in the DNC process is to dilate the cervix which happens a couple hours before the surgery. Using a curette (a metal rod with a loop on the end), the lining of the uterus is gently scraped, removing the lining and any abnormalities.I know what you’re thinking, who the hell wants to have a sharp rod-like object inserted into their pussy for the purpose of “scraping?” Maybe that question is phrased poorly.

The point is, while a seemingly painful and obviously evasive procedure, the DNC actually allows for re-growth of certain cells made overshadowed and complacent by “abnormal” cells. Some women have even reported the process as therapeutic and remedial, a method of destroying and rebuilding, if you will.

Getting in bed with politicians isn’t easy. In some way they are corrupt or have/will use their power to serve a selfish interest. In that case, shit, being human isn’t easy. The DNC that will take place in my city, the Mile High city, is already destined to go down in history. In an age where a white man from North Carolina who gives a damn about the poor is trumped by a brother from the tropics who surfs (no, assholes, not Tim Duncan) and a woman who condones infidelity,
it’s safe to say that somebody needs to witness this shit.

I live so close to the action, hell, I’ll be fucking the convention face to face, and it’s gonna be damn good.

The 3:10 to Denver. You know you wanna ride this train.

POLITRICKS 2008: The Teflon John…

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

teflon john

JOHN McCAIN’s crazy grandpa routine might just be the roll of the dice that pushes him over the top in November.

Where HILLARY came across as a humorless robot, McCAIN shows he has a pulse. OBAAMA is as smooth as silk but McCAIN has been like the previous teflon don, teflon RON “Raygun”.

These old men reflect Americana. That shit is the aspirations of the majority of this country. Everybody wants to be the old white man. That is the top of the food chain here in this country. It’s like having a 1000pt. FiCO score.

Rewind to that crazy biologist JAMES WATSON who wanted to plausiby argue for genocide and you can see that when you hit 70 years of age you are allowed to say and do some crazy shit.

Even Black men get the exemption if they can make it that far. Since BILL COSBY turned 70 he has been taking Black folks to task like they stole his last pudding pops.

I don’t want a McCAIN administration even if they promised to establish the word ‘cunty’ as the new usage for anything delicious and juicy (that would be totally awesome though). McCAIN smells like a neocon puppet even moreso than G Dubbz was. I see him sniffing around televangelists like a dog eager to have his tummy scratched.

We certainly don’t need a president who is going to be another right wing lapdog.

You can start to appreciate RICHARD NIXON’s hustler approach to politricks because at least he was a proactive go-getter. These dudes now pale in comparison.

Don’t even go there and talk about McCAIN’s stint as a P.O.W. He definetly comes up on hardbody points because of that time, but what has done since? G Dubbz pwned his ass several years ago. I wonder if CHENEY whispered in McCAIN’s ear that they had a room for him on Guantanamo if he jumped up sideways. CHENEY has been known to personally shoot his own niggas in the face.

McCAIN has been jocking the G Dubbz administration for minute too. McCAIN would no doubt retain many of the minions already entrenched in the Beltway.

Somebody needs to give me back the America where everyone at least had a job.

I take that back.

That was slavery.

POLITRICKS 2008: Real Talk > Straight Talk…

Saturday, June 21st, 2008

all thumbs

I really think I’m going to have to vote for JOHN McCAIN.

Even though his weed carriers a/k/a campaign hype machine calls itself the ‘Straight Talk Express’ (touché to them if JOHN EDWARDS gets the V.P. nod again). I can’t fault them for not using the term ‘Real Talk’. How current can we expect the vernacular to be of a 100 year old man? Still and all, McCAIN has some positives working in his favor…

  • He calls his wife a cunt
  • I really love that word and whichever candidate uses it publicly has my vote.

  • JOHN McCAIN is old school
  • JOHN McCAIN is really, really, really old.

  • JOHN McCAIN has love for them hos
  • Er, lobbyists.

  • The Straight Talk Express has a jig behind the wheel and sits on dubs
  • Peep game…

    POLITRICKS 2008: A Rose By Any Other Name…

    Thursday, June 19th, 2008

    apple

    You know how I know that America still isn’t ready for a Blackish president? Because there is still a taboo around words in the English language.

    One word in particular.

    Cunt.

    I was hoping that this word would go mainstream this summer. I love saying it too. It transports my mind to another place. I imagine a cunt to be tasty and sweet like a fruit. Just look at the apple above. That is the image that forms in my mind when I think of a cunt.

    JOHN McCAIN loves the word cunt as well. That’s why he called his wife one. I’m pretty sure he was also thinking of something delicious to eat as well. I’m going to say the word cunt fifty times today. It may get me elected into office one day.