Archive for the ‘HUFF YOU!’ Category

KEVIN POWELL IS A COAT PIMP!

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

kevin powell

There’s a whole lotta negative shit I could say about KEVIN POWELL (cues ERNIE…), but I won’t and I hope that ERNIE bites his tongue on this one too. Every year for last several years KEVIN POWELL has used his vast Rolodex of female friends to organize what might be the sexiest African American event of the year. Regular chick sexy, as well as exclusive chick sexy.

The event is themed around the donation of used, but clean winter clothing. You donate a jacket or a sweater and your ass gets in for free. This party brings out a shitload of Black females. You know the sisters got wild shit they need to get from out of their closets (no ALICIA KEYS). Afterwards, everybody feels good inside because they did something for charity and they got rid of that silly ass baglady coat that they know they were never going wear again.

Here’s the rub… There will be TOO many beautiful ladies at this shit. Not just ‘meh’ pretty chicks, but drop dead dimepieces. The KEVIN POWELL party is always on some 10 woman to 1 man ratio shit. Keep in mind that I am two steps from being married so I can’t even take a business card from this joint or my ass is grass. I need some fellas to help me hobnob with all of these ladies though. KEVIN POWELL can’t fuck all of them, although he might just try it. You know he’s gonna beat a few down too. All I’m saying is that there’s room for some of you fellas to get in where you fit in. The only thing is I only want to hang out with white dudes at the party[ll].

Pipe down negroes. My thinking is that it’s definitely time to get that ‘Something New’ popping off in some of these ladies lives, except this won’t be on that gimmicky bullshit. This will be on some real live black and white cookie love. Who doesn’t like the black and white cookie. I feel like the time is right for so-called white that is attracted to the so-called Black to finally introduce themselves. It’s time to regain the ground that you had acquired in the emotional heartland of the sisters before MICHAEL RICHARDS and IMUS sent you back into the Jim Crow coffee shop. If you want someone to break the ice, let me facilitate the connection. Allow me to vett the Black girls on your behalf so that you don’t end up with a sister with too many issues in her bag.

My advice to any white dude looking to crossover to Mother Africa is first, stay away from grey-green eyed Black chicks that wear kente clothing. You don’t want any part of that mess. Avoid a Black woman who over accessorizes, or wears heels that are over three inches high. They have a different set of issues, but issues nonetheless. The Black girl you want wears sensible shoes and is the color of a caramel macchiato with a little bit of fat on the back of her arms. Not so much that you can’t see her elbow, but just enough to squeeze the juice out of her.

White dudes! Seriously. Get at me[ll]. I’ll make sure that you get to meet a nice, eligible, childless, open-minded Black girl with a nice round booty.

BONUS REMIX: BILLY SUNDAY’s Guide To Black Women’s Hair…


ERNIE,
Before you start talking your shit about KEVIN… Look at all of these people that went into making this Friday’s event such a success. Shit on KEVIN POWELL on another drop. This weekend I will run your story on CLIVE.

KEVIN POWELL’s Holiday Party and Clothng Drive
Friday December 7th, 2007
TriBeCa Cinemas
54 Varick Street @ Canal Street
10pm-4am
**FREE admission with the donation of clean, new/used outerwear**

coat pimps

Develop, Don’t Destroy, Brooklyn…

Wednesday, December 5th, 2007

227 duffield stret

A few years ago you couldn’t find a more vocal opponent to the proposed construction over the Atlantic Avenue railyards than I was. Sure, the railyards is a patch of blight in a community that has been resurgent, but at what price to the existing community must we accept redevelopment?

New York City on the whole is squeezing the middle class like so much ripened citrus we are almost wrung free of our nectar. What makes this city such a wonderment in the first place are all the people making a living here despite our various ethnic, religious, politic and economic backgrounds. The city is becoming as segregated as a state in the antebellum south. The separations aren’t just racial, but more pronounced along economic lines.

How the fuck does the Bronx end up as the poorest urban county in America? Simply by Manhattan owning the inverse proportion of wealthy residents. LM sent me an online article from CNN/Money featuring some of New York City’s wealthiest families. Peep this shit…

All In The Families

What they all have in common is that their fortunes are tied directly to the land. Forget the stock market, or even broadcasting. New York City wealth is all about the ground that you walk on and who has claim to it. This is why I had such a great concern for the development slated for Brooklyn. This boro has the largest population of minorities and new immigrants who will be the last people to be recognized and protected when the big money is on the line. That big money is in the form of the development company led by real estate mogul BRUCE RATNER.

The ambitious project in downtown Brooklyn called MetroTech is spreading outwards to the west in the high gloss DUMBO arts community. It is spreading northward by capturing Fort Greene and Clinton Hill in its wake and it has its eyes firmly set on the east where the Atlantic Avenue railyards are. But with all of the noise for change and all of the young, new-monied folks moving into Brooklyn (read: w… you already know), there is still a voice that must be heard.

JOY CHATEL owns a venerable building on the downtrodden Duffield Street. Her building was formerly a stopover on the Underground Railroad. This was one railroad that she was not about to let RATNER demolish for his shiny new retail playground Brooklyn. She rallied for her rights to keep her home. She mobilized media not just around her home, but for the cause that we can not just push poor people out into the ocean. The courts listened to her arguments and this week she was victorious in her efforts.

By embracing new media Mrs. CHATEL has shown that activism has many forms and formats. You can stand up for your rights by sitting down for a few moments to blog to some of your best friends and let them know what is important to you. It wasn’t enough for the city to rename Duffield Street into Abolitionist Place. Mrs. CHATEL and her friends made the city follow through with action that preserves our American heritage.

227 duffield stret

POLITRICKS 2008: Sex And The City’s Money…

Saturday, December 1st, 2007

judiani

This latest scandal might be the death knell for RUDOLPH GIULIANI’s political career. I won’t start my celebration until I see the body lying in state. There have been so many times during GIULIANI’s mayoralty where I thought the people with the big bucks that make the decisions would have buried his ass. Still he rises. Forget for a moment if you can September 11th, 2001. GIULIANI wants you to think of that moment overall because his final act as the mayor of New York City was the cruel and callous treatment that he subjected his family to.

GIULIANI wasn’t about to sacrifice his own pleasure out of respect for his family’s privacy or mental well-being. No wonder GIULIANI’s own daughter campaigns for OBAAMA. At least BARACK has the decency to keep his families private issues in the closet[ll]. When GIULIANI finally went public with the relationship he and his mistress had been having the city’s public coffers were short a half a million. This was just from the documented expenses that had been incurred providing services to the mayor’s head-mistress (puns always intended at DP Dot Com).

Rudy Giuliani Hid His Travel Expenses While Courting Judi

The mayor enjoyed a ridiculous level of privilege and entitlement that he used to splurge on those in his favorable inner circle. Between the unchecked power that he gave to Police Commissioner BERNARD KERIK and the cosmic credit card that he bestowed upon JUDITH NATHAN I’m not surprised now that the city didn’t have money to offer its police, fire and technical worker’s unions. Can you imagine the amount of debt America will assume with JUDIANI as the president?

What surprises me most is how come the vast majority of right wing voters that buy the GIULIANI 9-11 myth can still mitigate his obvious lack of family values. Add to that list now his subsequent lack of fiscal values. GIULIANI is poised to make the BUSH-CHENEY administration look downright honest by comparison. That fact should be a problem for all Americans. No matter what your political affiliation might be. I’ve waited for a long time for the wheels to fall off GIULIANI’s taxpayer leased limousine, but like I said in the opening sentence on this drop I won’t be happy until I finally know this tyrant is put down.

The Real Rock Girls by MAXINE

Wednesday, November 28th, 2007

roc girls

Rock Girls in the building tonight
Look at how I’m chillin, Im killin this ice
You dont even gotta bring your purses out
We the dope girls of the year TUITION is on the house!!!

The Association of American Colleges (AAC) was established at a meeting of college presidents in Chicago in 1915. Robert Kelly, president of Earlham College, was appointed the first president of the 179 member coalition. Throughout the century, the AAC has had a number of milestones, including blasting colleges and universities for losing value of liberal education, to being kicked out of Lafayette Square in D.C. after the President pre-empted its space.

The most interesting thing about the AAC is that in 1918, then President Lyman Lowell announced that fifty American colleges and universities would offer scholarships, expense allowances or free tutition to girls from France who came to this country for education. The reason for this outpour of generosity is supposedly because World War I had severely retarded France’s education system, and left the women and girls without means for educating themselves.

One way the women would be able to pay off their education is with fees paid to them for providing instructions in their own languages, or through scholarships and expense allowances. Lowell’s stance is that a group of students in each university would increase relations between the countries and make each more determined to win the war.

Bullshit! I don’t believe a fucking word of it. Since when do Americans, at the height of a world war, become concerned about the education of girls in general, much less French girls? Especially French girls whose families would otherwise have the money to pay for their education. Since when did America’s education system become a pillar of support for anyone, much less an associated power in a world war? President Woodrow Wilson was determined not to even term the U.S. an ally during the war. This is some shady shit to the fullest. In my humble opinion the evidence shows that those French broads were running drugs! Walk with me on this shit…

roc girls

Narcotics smuggling represented a colonial monopoly. Those who had it sold it and those who didn’t have it bought it. World War I provided many with the opportunity to profit off the lucrative trade and smuggling of lots of different items from pepper, tea, and ginger to opium derivatives. Where in the United States can you find large groups of severely impressionable people looking to expand their minds? Colleges and universities. Who better to further this expansion? Foreign chicks who barely speak English.

It is widely speculated that these ladies were the direct relatives of the infamous French mafia, Unione Corse. Most known for “Air Opium” and the French Connection. These dudes are so bad that when one of their own was arrested in the 60’s for carrying around $247,000 in cash from a suspected drug deal, he was released and the government paid him back, with interest! The Teflon Don ain’t got shit on these cats.

Narcotics and marijuana were perfectly legal in the US until the Harrison Narcotics Act of 1914 and subsequent laws changed the rules in the middle of the game. Opiates being refined in Marseilles were high market value in the US, during this time, drug agents seized 44 pounds of opium basically because the American government wasn’t getting their cut. As a compromise with the Corse, in 1916 the Supreme Court ruled that the government had no regulation over drugs and drug users, however,selling drugs was still illegal. Guess what Lyman Lowell of the AAC was doing between 1916 and 1918? Working abroad in Marseilles, France!

Every good dealer needs a front. Something that acts as a legit machine while making the real paper behind the scenes. The plan to offer free tuition to French girls through the AAC was brilliant. No one would ever suspect female foreign exchange students to be drug smuggling mules. It gave the Corse a direct link to willing customers, a ‘Thor’s hammer’ so to speak, and they didn’t get caught, and I can almost guaran-damn-tee that none of them ever became rappers.

The French motto is “Liberty, Equality, Fraternity.” We all know the word fraternity is really a collegiate euphemism for getting fucked the fuck up, so it was all in the blueprints from the beginning! If you take a look, you can chase that damn dragon right back to the warm bosom of a sexy French co-ed fresh off the boat.

Obtenir de l’argent! Get that money bitches!

roc girls

roc girls

POLITRICKS 2008: I Snorted, But I Didn’t Inhale…

Monday, November 26th, 2007

obaamania

Editor’s note: Hip-HopDX’s The Ambassador tells us why she goes in for presidential candidate BARACK OBAAMA. Being a Beltway resident, I wonder if she would consider interning for the Democratic candidate? What if he promised free ganja?

I fucks with Barack Obaama. Not necessarily as a politician, but as a smile inducer. I sadly don’t know too much about his political stance…talk to me after I graduate from college about having time to read up on the political world like that. All I know is that he’s a Black guy that’s running for President who for once in my memory isn’t Al Sharpton (how the fuck do you expect me to trust you when you’re doing LoanMax ads?!). He also gets props from me for coming to speak at my campus, and every single time that he absolutely shouldn’t – Barack spits that real shit, son. Well, as much truth as a politician possibly can. Underhanded bastards.

See, I always gave Bill Clinton props because he held down the country pretty decently (if I remember correctly, I was young as shit), got us out of debt, and wasn’t hated by everybody and their mommas. And he accomplished all that shit while pulling off cheating on his wife at the workplace which also happened to be his place of residence. DAMN. And Hillary looks like one of those straight-laced broads that doesn’t play that shit, so you know he was catching some hell behind the scenes for that one. I wonder what his punishment was? Somehow I don’t think having to sleep on the White House couch would really be so bad. But, Barack still has a one-up on our boy Billy – he doesn’t deny his past shenanigans.

Shit, Barack even took a slick shot at Mr. Clinton onetime while speaking in New Hampshire. Remember way back in the day when Clinton said that he smoked but he didn’t inhale? Barack was asked if he inhaled that sweet sticky green, and his response was “I never understood that line. The point was to inhale. That was the point.” That was the most politically
correct way of saying “Ayo, Bill, you’re a waste of weed, man.”


So, keep spittin that real shit, Obama. Keep letting the people know how you went to Islamic school (better known to the white majority as “How to Blow Shit Up” school). It’s not going to get you into office, but at least you’ll get some respect and some street cred in the process.

Oh, and for all of you that are like me and are too busy with life (or reading DP Dot Com) to be bothered with learning about the candidates’ platforms: Barack is “open” to the idea of medicinal marijuana if it’s the best way to relieve pain and suffering. Holla!

ambassador The Ambassador says…
“And if you don’t know, now you know.”