Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

100 Miles And Running…

Monday, November 5th, 2007

big kenya

Yesterday’s marathon reminds me of what my dad called life. I was so busy trying to grow up in a hurry because I thought that life was a sprint. My dad told me that life was a marathon and that pacing myself would help me complete the race. It took me so long to understand what he was trying to tell me. I almost disqualified my damn self like my name was RYAN SHAY. I’m still standing though and thankful for all my dad’s lessons.

Life is long party people, but if you work hard and stay true to your principles you will be able to see the blessings of your labor. My dad passed away knowing that I had finally found a real woman to love me and not some high-heeled hoochie hussy (which incidentally are my favorite type of broads). He saw me buy my first home and he saw my professional accomplishments. In that regard he knew his work here was done. I still wish he were right here though because I still need his counseling some times and especially his tough love.

big kenya

iNTERNETS CELEBRITIES is going to be that crack that you need in your life. If I have to start producing these videos by myself I will, but I don’t, so I won’t. My point is that I am so serious about taking the i.C. movement up to the next level in terms of creative content.

The idea has crossed my mind that you folks would respond to us if we promised you new content on a certain day by a certain time. That will be our next goal in order to make that step upwards. Steady content featuring RAFI and I going in on whatever the fuck we want.

big kenya

DP Dot Com has to finish off 2007 stronger than ever. If the fourth quarter is the entertainment industry’s ‘put up or shut up’ time then I have to show you folks who the JOE MONTANA of this blog shit is. Not so much JOE when he joined the Chiefs, although there was that Monday night game in 1994 at Mile High Stadium. Hey, you get the point.

Randomosity: Remember TODD BLACKLEDGE?

There is a brand new DP Dot Com mixtape going out this week so keep an eye out for a package in your snail mail post office box.

Shouts to NERDITRY for the birthday gift. Shouts to big brother ERNIE PANNICIOLI for sending me his O.G. copy of the VANESSA WILLIAMS Penthouse premiere. Shouts to Kenya for being so effin’ hardbody every year.

Shouts to you for running with us.

big kenya

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Monday, November 5th, 2007

satch

NIKE stays in my wallet when it comes to copping shit from their Negro Leagues ‘Untold Truth’ series. They are maintaining a high level of premium leathers along with their most popular retro designs. You already know I have the JOSH GIBSON Dunks, and now I have the SATCHEL PAIGE Air Max 90’s. Once they create some JACKIE ROBINSON Air Trainer III’s the game will be over. I’m glad that NIKE showed SATCHEL PAIGE some love.

SATCHEL PAIGE is one of baseball’s most legendary players. He might be the game’s greatest pitcher of all time. SATCHEL PAIGE was able to throw two separate ballgames in a single afternoon. PAIGE wasn’t admitted into the Major Leagues until he was forty eight years old. He played professionally until his late fifties. SATCHEL was famous for his amazing array of pitches and his unmistakable quotations.

“I use my single windup, my double windup, my triple windup, my hesitation windup, my no windup. I also use my step-n-pitch-it, my submariner, my sidearmer, and my bat dodger. Man’s got to do what he’s got to do.” – (c) Satchel Paige

satch

Premium butter soft indigo and wheat leather with detailed stitching of the player’s name on the tongue. Just the kind of flavor and quality that SATCH would have preferred.

satch

satch

satch

DP Dot Com Super Heroine Series: THE DIRTY PAIR

Thursday, November 1st, 2007

dirty pair

Now this is what I’m talking about. Hot Asiatic poon with laser guided assault rifles. Kei and Yuri are futuristic bounty hunters for the inter-galactic government. They were called the Lovely Angels when they first came out, but their code name had to be switched over to the Dirty Pair because of all the destruction and mayhem they cause when they are on assignment.

They basically run around in these aluminum bikinis shooting up shit for no money down and taking names.

You already know how I get down for redheads.

dirty pair

Kei(redhead) and Yuri(brunette) are both genetically engineered chicks who lucked up on their gigs as super-powered agents of catastrophe. They thought they were filling out job applications to be travel agents. Kei is the one who loves effing with the guns while Yuri is more or less on that futuristic ninja ish.

In the manga world there’s no one else is as hardbody as these chicks. Even robots have to lean back to their overall gullyness. Because they are essentially clones they don’t care what they have to do to get their assignment done. If it means that they have to kill themselves they will do it. Yuri’s already died once before and she’ll do it again. Kei is the one that does all the hands on work like having sex with criminals to get information on terrorists.

dirty pair

In the wacky world of Cosplay the Dirty Pair is always a fan favorite.

It would be totally teh ghey of me to dress up like Kei, but it isn’t so ghey of me to have a pair of Dunks with Kei and Yuri’s images on them. I took a crispy pair of Dunks and made them into the ‘Dirty Pair’.

Yeah, you can hate me now.

dirty pair

LITTLE BLONDE BLACK GIRLS…

Thursday, November 1st, 2007

cold as ice

KEYSHIA COLE covers Vibe magazine next month, and HARRIET TUBMAN weeps in heaven. Naked and blonde. There are all kinds of metaphors that float around my head as I look at this cover. The first one is WTF!?! I thought this magazine was helmed by a Black chick? If my memory serves me correctly I think DANYEL SMITH is also a bleached out blonde chick right now so maybe this is a movement.

I make all kinds of jokes about the fact that BeYONCE is the best of both worlds because she is a blonde Black girl with a big booty, but those were actually jokes. You know, sarcasm and shit. I don’t want to see any more Black girls with blonde tresses and I don’t want to see any more white chicks with badonk-a-donks. Not until we have totally dismantled supremacy. Otherwise I want all of this racial misappropriation to cease. If RIHANNA goes blonde our economy will collapse.

My real problem with the Vibe cover isn’t so much that Mrs. COLE is aping MARILYN MONROE, but that she is doing it nekkid. Who co-signs this shit other then white men? I’m tired of Black women being openly marketed as sexual objects. No, really. I don’t want to see a spread of MARY J BLIGE in Playboy. You can best believe that my dream in life would be to see MJB totally nude, but I don’t want anyone other than myself, DIDDY, K-Ci and KENDU to have access to that view.

The biggest issue is that by going blonde KEYSHIA COLE is no longer a Hood Rat Queen, but an American Beauty. There’s some not so subtle propaganda popping off with this cover. Note to all my little blonde Black Girls… Don’t believe the hype.

DP Dot Com Crime Scene Investigation

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

my name is earl

My name is Earl.

Nothing excites me more than the things that come from inside the human body. In this CSI episode we will try to figure out what caused the expulsion of so much nutritional proteins.

my name is earl

Closer inspection determines that this was probably a meal with chicken or turkey as the base and what appears to be some kind of red vegetable, possibly a habanero pepper or a tomato skin.

my name is earl

This event seems to have been caused by the victim’s choice of reading material.

my name is earl

‘Dirty Money’ by author ASHLEY JaQUAVIS. A jig lit classic along the lines of even the greatest CHESTER HIMES novels.

my name is earl

‘Scarface’ themed sneakers indicate that this victim lived the faux gansgter lifestyle head to toe.

my name is earl

This crime scene lends credence to the discussion that ‘Scarface’ is only favored by those without the good taste to appreciate quality PACINO films like ‘Dog Day Afternoon’.

my name is earl