Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

This Quiet Storm Will Mos Def Be Touching Down In Canton…

Wednesday, August 1st, 2007

martin

“Currrrrrrtissssss” – (c) Cam’Ron

The 2007-2008 N.F.L. season will begin without one of the game’s most consistent, yet most underrated superstars suiting up in pads for his twelfth professional year. The New York Jets all-time leading rusher CURTIS MARTIN has hung up his cleats.

CURTIS MARTIN was quietly one of the best rushers in the American Football Conference over the last decade and this conference has featured running backs like EDGERRIN JAMES, JAMAAL LEWIS, SHAUN ALEXANDER and the Black Superman, LaDANIAN TOMLINSON. All of them have to take a back seat to MARTIN’s career stats and his ability to produce wherever he played.

martin

CURTIS MARTIN rushed both the New England Patriots and the New York Jets to an AFC Championship game, but not at the same time because that would be breaking more than records. It would break the time-space continuum or some shit and dinosaurs would come back and spaceships would be landing and I don’t know what else. But if a UFO landed here in New York City it would definitely be coming for CURTIS. He was after all, our “favorite Martian.” (c)CHRIS BERMAN, ESPN

Jets Fans Stand Up!!!
First person to give me CURTIS MARTIN’s playoff rushing yards total gets a FREE officially licensed CURTIS MARTIN football jersey. It’s new with tags (NWT) and it’s a men’s size medium. Like the one pictured here below, except a lot smaller.

martin

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Monday, July 30th, 2007

am90s

If the abominable Assquatch owned these Air Maxes you wouldn’t even catch a glimpse of him.

Just do it.

manimal

‘YE TUDDA Says “WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE!?!”

Friday, July 27th, 2007

kanghey

To wrap up our week with guest editor, rapper KANYAYZE WEST, we thought we’d ask him one of the most important questions concerning Hip-Hop right now. It’s not about politics, or sales figures, or even who has the sickest rhyme flow of all time. The question is so much realer than that. In the words of DP Dot Com sponsor and award winning blogger ZILLZ from Zilla Says, the ultimate questions is “What Does It Smell Like!?!”(click on icon)

zillz

WDISL!?! gets to the core of the human condition. If we are nothing more than animals walking upright (most times) then why don’t we give the proper credit to that sense which conveys our emotional state? Smell is as, if not more important than sight, and WDISL!?! proves this without a doubt. Let’s take a look at some images along with ‘YE TUDDA and find out what his nose knows…

serena

SERENA WILLIAMS a/k/a CHOCOLATE SHE-HULK

serena

‘YE TUDDA says, “Serena boonkey is thick, but the streets say that she smell like a wrestler on Andro. Plus I imagine that she has played with her share of dirty, sweaty tennis balls. I wouldn’t trust it until I see a picture from the front side. Serena might could be one of those chicks who got a ‘surprise’ for you.”

nahh mayne

deelishus

DEELISHUS

deelishus

‘YE TUDDA says, “Now I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger… Flav gave her that little taste of Hollywood, but deep inside she is still a hoodrat that you drink 40’s and smoke blunts with. Wasn’t she the Flav chick that shitted on herself?”

nahh mayne

buffie

BUFFIE The BODY

buffie

‘YE TUDDA says, “First off, homegirl’s booty is wild retarded. Shit is just stupid big. I know she can’t wipe her ass right so you best believe there is still some doodee caked up in the crack. And I smell burning latex from all the niggas that done smashed that. Play at your own risk homey.”

hell nahh

longwhoria

EVA LONGWHORIA

longwhoria

‘YE TUDDA says, “I smell mangos, stinky ass French cheese and used gym socks. Every Mexican chick I ever fucked with loved mangos, and because of her man you know she already got that crazy French people b.o. from the shit they eat. I might would still hit it though.”

meh

myspace shawty

SEXY YOUNG MYSPACE HONEY

myspace shawty

‘YE TUDDA says, “Ba’ygirl smell like potpourri, paby bowder and a hot, sweet cinnamon roll. She was only seventeen, but she was sexy. I love when these young girls get onto MySpace and act like this was the first time that they did a striptease. Chick please stop frontin’!”

ye says yay

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Thursday, July 26th, 2007

kanghey

We all agree that KANYE WEST is the freshest rapper in the game right now. Between him and LIL’ WANG there aren’t any artists whose styles are as thoroughly discussed and disseminated on the streets (read: internets). My peeps over at Flawless Hustle e-mailed me some of the Air Max designs for upcoming Fall ’07 release. Since KANGHEY is pitching in this week as the guest editor I thought I’d find out what he thinks of these joints.

These Air Max 90 are part of a package called HUFquake. HUF is a designer that NIKE collabs with much in the same way I do when I visit the NIKE I.D. studio, except HUF is allowed an even sicker array of leathers and colorways to choose from, and HUF gets about fifty free pairs to give away to his friends. I have to pay for my shit.

Still and all I can’t help but to style on these fools. These pieces are crispy enough to be church shoes. Peep the elephant skin print on these I.T.’s. These joints look B.A.N.A.N.A.S.

hufquake

meh ‘YE TUDDA says “Hell yeah!”
My Japanese connects already sent me four pairs of them Airs.

Since y’all are cool with me, print out this 30% Off Discount Coupon to Foot Locker and do your thing. Tell ’em ‘YE TUDDA sent you.


You Need The Blade Runner DVD In Your Life…

Wednesday, July 25th, 2007

movie poster

True story is that as I sat down this weekend to watch ‘Blade Runner’ for the fifty-eleventh time the VCR tape that was shoved in the case was ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It?’ I laughed at myself for leaving my ‘Blade Runner’ flick in the range of my kid brother who prah’lee fell asleep during the movie and left it over someone’s crib. No problems, I will just pull out plan B, ‘The Empire Strikes Back’. Foiled again. The DVD case is empty. This is what I get for leaving my video stash at ma duke’s house. It looks like I will be hitting up Target in the near future for a little more than I bargained for.

Replacing the O.G ‘Star Wars’ trilogy is mandatory, you already know that, but if you have only one science fiction dystopian days of future past DVD in your collection you need to have ‘Blade Runner’. B.R. hits you on so many levels simultaneously. It’s a hard boiled detective thriller with hardbody action scenes*pause*. Nah, but fools do get their wigs peeled proper like. Wild shootouts go down in a meta-urban downtown dive bar. Everyone in the cast was still pretty green in terms of mainstream success, but they all were sublime in their roles.

deckard

EDWARD JAMES OLMOS has put in work for his career from ‘Miami Vice’ to ‘Battlestar Galactica’. His role as a seedy, origami-obsessed detective in ‘Blade Runner’ was boss money shit. RUTGER HAUER came through and did that psychotic sociopathic shit his ugly ass does so well. Did anyone see ‘The Hitcher’ with HAUER and C. THOMAS HOWELL? That shit was ill too. Getting back to ‘Blade Runner’ though… HARRISON FORD set himself up for life with this role even more than his work in ‘Star Wars’.

He plays the detective that is conscripted to track down a group of killer androids. These replicants, as they are called, look like humans in every way. They have even been programmed with a set of memories that they use to draw upon. Once they find out that their computer brains have a four year shelf life a rogue group of replicants returns to Earth in order to see if they can reverse the outcome. Who knew that these androids would start to enjoy their lives? Not so much as enjoy, but they form a desire to continue living and learning and… Loving!?!

flyer

In the climatic fight scene between RUTGER HAUER’s replicant character and FORD’s detective we come to find that the replicants have acheived a level of humanity that no one ever expected. HAUER basically pwns FORD’s character like a rag doll, but then when he has the opportunity to kill HARRISON FORD he elects not to. Instead he lets his brain just shut down effectively terminating his replicant software programming. The androids recognized that the greatest facet of humanity is the regard for life in all of it’s forms. ‘Blade Runner’ has wild action and it gets deep like that.

One of the things I internalized the most about ‘Blade Runner’ was the architecture of the future dystopia. On the ground level it was like Hong Kong or possibly Times Square, but the skyscrapers were all seven hundred stories tall. I think this might have been the film that inspired me to pursue architecture in school and beyond.

tyrell bldg

tyrell bldg

hell nahh ‘YE TUDDA says “Copp this shit!”
Yo dawg, ‘Blade Runner’ had some dope, futuristic costumes. Remember homeboy that made the eyeballs for the androids? And that crazy bitch that ran through glass windows with nothing but her see through jelly rain jacket on?!? Yeah, that shit was ill.