Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

Light A Ciggar For Jiggar My Niggar…

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

jigger cigger

By now you all know that the Roc-A-Wear brand clothing line was sold to a conglomerate for over two hundred million. Now I know in my mind of minds that JAY-Z never “owned” the brand, but I am sure that he caught some coin from that sale and stands to reap some more Benjy’s and benefits depending on how long the brand remains viable.

That shit always looked like clown shoes to me and the brand never had the depth of design that Phat Farm had. All they have are hoodies and sweatpants. At least Phat Farm and Sean John expanded their lines with adult items like sweaters and button-up shirts. Everything that I found in Roc-A-Wear that was my size made me feel retarded. Akademics and Ecko are smarter and better designed urban brands, but Roc-A-Wear has one thing none of them can have – the MICHAEL JORDAN of rap recording.

Roc on SHAWN CARTER, roc on…

fox

Did you hear that FOX BOOGIE has been banned from Junior’s Restaurant in Brooklyn?

Damn FOXY!? This chick needs an image consultant ASAP. She needs someone to take her azz down to the shelter on Nevins Street and have FOXY work a few days on the soup kitchen line, then take her azz to the free clinic on Flatbush Avenue and have FOXY pass out condoms or some shit. You know, give back to the community. If someone who has love for this chick doesn’t intervene the next thing you know will be “FOXY gets barred from KUM KAU”. That shit would be fucked the fuck up.

Too bad Pretty Boy can’t even sneak her a cheesecake.

obama

Your boy BARACK “No really, I’m Black” OBAMA is getting tons of press lately as he campaigns hard for the Democratic nod in 2008. He came to NYC and was feted by the niggerati glitterati from the music and entertainment business.

I’m not part of the bandwagon that cares about BARACK’s questionable Blackness. Any honest bi-racial person that has felt the sting of racism will tell you that when the rubber hits the road being Not White = Being Black. I’m a part of the minority that asks the most pertinent question… Who the fuck is BARACK OBAMA?!? This dude is like the cat that you never heard of before, but now he is gonna run for the president? What is his Senatorial record? Who are the main contributors to his campaign? He has to be put through the same hoops that we put a BOB DOLE, or a WALTER MONDALE, or a MICHAEL DUKAKIS into and when we see what comes out then we can decide if he is really the golden child.

Or the golden brown child, since he is a nigger.

AMERICA’s NEXT TOP H.A.M.

Friday, March 2nd, 2007

toni

I apologize to all of the loyal DP Dot Com fans that have been patiently waiting for that piffy pfft that the world’s most dangerous website is known for bringing. I’m trying to stay in the forefront of this blogosphere edutainment phenomenon and it feels like the world’s moves faster than my broadband connection sometimes. Anyhoo, with so many choices on these world wide webs I’m thankful that you spend your money here with me.

We gon’ jump off Women’s History Month with our annual Hot Ass Mess pageant. TONI BRAXTON’s twat must be on fire because for the past two years she has been airing her shit out in public. Go copp some cream for that itch TONI and I’ll still beat. Hell, even BeYONCE has hepatitis now. Or it that SASHA that was at the Sports Illustrated party?

As always, the H.A.M. movement owes a debt of recognition to Crunk and Disorderly, the mother of the this blog shit and her sister, the Concrete Loop.

AMERICA’s NEXT TOP H.A.M.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Sunday, February 25th, 2007

woody

Wood paneled patent leather Dunks to match the interior of the Mini Cooper.

Available for $39.95 at Paragon Sports in New York City.

You can hate me now.

woody

woody

woody

BIMBOS GONE BANANAS…

Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

brit

A capital lettered WTF?!? as well as a ‘HO SIT DOWN!’ has to be handed to both BRITNEY SPEARS and INGA ‘Foxy Brown’ MARCHAND. These two broads have both been simultaneously spiraling downward but last week seemed to be the veritable jump off the cliff for these troubled artists.

BRITNEY has been going hard at the Los Angeles party circuit since her separation from cRap music new jack K-FED. This wouldn’t really be too much news since the company she has kept like PARIS HILTON and LINDSAY LOHAN are fairly hardbody when it comes to the after hours scenes. The big difference that BRITNEY has with these chicks is not her pop music starom, but the fact that she has two seeds waiting for her at home. This behavior makes BRITNEY no different than most of the girls that you would meet in any inner city nightclub. Those broads leave their babies at home with their mother or their younger sister or they leave them home alone with a peanut butter sandwich. A book is in the works from her personal assistant and I expect an ABC-TV afterschool special in another year or so.

For BRITNEY it’s like whatever whatever, throw some D’s on that bitch.

foxy

FOXY BROWN has been spazzing hard for several years, but I think that her hearing problem has a lot to do with her issues. That shit makes you go crazy when you lose your hearing. And you think you are talking real words but it sounds only like ridiculous retahd yelling and no one can understand you. I feel for FOXY too even though I can’t stand her rapping. I feel for her because she has to support her baby brother PRETTY BOY (real talk is that he’s not too pretty either).

FOXY’s latest epsiode popped off in a beauty salon haircare supply store. I’m seeing a pattern here. If FOXY is kept out of nail salons and beauty salons she doesn’t get arrested. That needs to be part of her probation agreement from now on. She has to order all her beauty supplies online.

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Sunday, February 18th, 2007

The NIKE Design Studio is firing up a new Air Force 1 program in honor of the NBA’s 2007 All-Star Game. I visited the studio last weekend and I took a peek at some of the exclusive materials that were being offered.

big homey

big homey

The design studio does it bigger than everyone else by installing a sneaker alter right inside their building’s facade. All the new styles being offered are put on display so you can get a feel for the look of the shoe you might end up designing. The centerpiece of the new program is the Air Force 25. NIKE has taken their most ubiquitous shoe and redesigned it after 25 years of use by professional basketball players. There’s been a Juelz Santana/Just Blaze collabo that you must have seen already and there was a big superstar party (that amazingly, I wasn’t invited to) for the shoe’s launch.

After all the hype and hoopla this is the shoe that the NIKE designers are hoping will replace the original and well liked Air Force 1.

AF 25

AF 25

AF 25

The shoe has an interesting profile and NIKE is offering over two dozen exclusive premium leathers to cover the upper. This shoe is stylin’ on fools when you are ballin’ and with a price point of $225 dollars per pair you had better be a pro baller to afford these. It’s times like this that I wish I had a sneaker contract.

The design studio was immaculate as always and as soon as I had a chance I snapped a few pics of the jewels that are available to only those people that have NIKE MVP status… Air Force 1’s in some of the slickest, sickest premium leather available. If you collect Air Force 1’s then I would suggest that you register with the Nike Deign Studio through NIKE I.D. dot com as soon as you finish this post. Register for a chance to buy these collectable sneakers. I don’t have any Air Force 1’s in my collection, but these shoes made me think twice.

big homey

big homey

AF 1

AF 1

The Air Force 1 is a dope shoe but I have already cast my lot with the NIKE Dunk. There is no other shoe I would pick up within a heartbeat’s notice that has the Dunk’s style and comfort. Good thing for me that Dunks are also part of the new program and they are offering some of the craziest colors to ever be put on a sneaker. Don’t be surprised when I spaz out and show you some straight up Crayola Dunks that I designed.

dunks