Archive for the ‘Fashion Faux Pas’ Category

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Saturday, January 21st, 2006

A.M.360

Just when I think that NIKE has finished pushing the design technology envelope, the good folks from Oregon find another level.

NIKE’s flagship technical running shoe had a celebrity bar mitzvah at NIKETOWN. There was free food and refreshments all around the store. I love when NIKETOWN does these special invite only events because I really get to appreciate the building as one of the great temples to sneaker culture along with hundreds of other true believers. The Negro Network’s very own video jig TIG hosted the party to launch the AIR MAX 360.

tig the jig

The real celebrity last nite though was the AIR MAX brand. The AIR MAX shoe has been a favorite item for everyone from the die-hard 6am morning jogger to the kids in the ‘LO sweaters and SteepTech jackets. Fans of the brand had gathered at NIKETOWN in some of their crispiest kicks. I debuted a pair of my AIR MAX TL’s from 2004.

A.M. '04

NIKE even offered special limited edition AIR MAX I.T.’s to commemorate the event. I had to copp these ‘sick to death’ AIR 180 BRS editions. I will call them my ‘Fruity Pebbles’. (no brokeback, of course)

so much fruit (no homo)
fruity pebbles

My next acquisition will be a pair of the AIR MAX 360 in the pearl/red colorway. I tried these joints on and I was almost tempted to sprint out of the store. I feel like its generic of me to tell you how comfortable they feel, but if you can imagine wearing bubble wrap on your feet then you have an idea of how smooth these kicks are. My favorite part of the shoe is that the foot pad is a little wider than what I am used to from the AIR MAX brand. My one complaint was the lacing eyelet design. I would guess that NIKE moved away from intergrating a polycarbon lace retainer system to assist the shoes in being so lightweight, but I just didn’t care for the design they ended up with (peep the A.M. ’05 lace retainer system – straight dope).

straight laced

Anyhoo, it was cool to be in a nerd ‘fest without TRIUMPH the Insult Comic Dog busting your balls (no brokeback). I was also pleasantly surprised with the amount of shorties that came to the event. In the early days these sneaker cons used to be like cargo pants swordfighting (extra no brokeback).

the fellas

SNEAKER FIENDS UNITE!

Thursday, January 19th, 2006

Air Max 04

STAPLECROP$.COM looks out for the peoples with this hot link!

NIKE celebrates three decades of cushioning with the release of the new AIR MAX 360
Friday, January 20. 2006 – 8.30 to 10.30 pm
Niketown New York – 6 East 57th Street

Air Max 360

The event will consist of contests, prize drawings, shoe try-ons, limited edition kicks, music, food & refreshments and much more.

RSVP to newyorkrsvp@nike.com or call 212.891.6453

For the main event, people will be able to purchase NIKE’s revolutionary Air Max 360 (retail $160 USD). The colorway for men is red and grey and the womens colorway consists of violet and grey. There will also be a NikeTown exclusive color which is engine/ white anthrax and flint grey which will only be available in NTC, NTB, NTA, NTNY, NYLA, NTSF, NTM, NTH and NTLV.

Air Max 05
Air Max 05

The public will also be able to purchase limited kicks from the Power Wall which consists of six rows of different Air Max sneakers (Air Max One, Air Max 90, Air Max 180, Air Max ’93, Air Max ’95, Air Max ’97, Air Max ’03 and of course, Air Max 360).

There will be 48 different shoes in 6 rows. The first row will be the ‘Originals’ which are the original colorways of all the Air Max sneakers. It will have a sockliner with the sneaker’s history. The second row will be all ‘white’. The third row is called ‘Warm’ which consists of the color pallete of red. The fourth row is titled ‘BRS’ which is a salute to the ’70s. The fifth row is titled ‘Growth’ which consists of the color palette of green. The sixth and last row is titled ‘Back in Black’ which features the color black with details like laser printing, embossed graphics (texturized) and patterns.

There will also be another row which will not be sold in NTNY which is called the Tier Row which is exclusive to sneaker boutiques.

TURQUOISE Is For FAGS

Wednesday, January 18th, 2006

steve smith = teh ghey

In a perfect world we will never have to deal with a faggy team that wears teal turquoise as the World Champions.

Do you see the way their wide receiver likes to hug the pole?!? (double extra N.H.)

NBA TIGHT PANTS ALL-STAR GAME

Saturday, January 14th, 2006

big george

I can remember begging my dad to let me stay awake late so that I could watch the NBA Tight Pants All Star Game. Back in those days the NBA was broadcast at 2am E.S.T. because network executives didn’t think that they had a brand that was family friendly for primetime television. There was something ‘NahRight‘ about a whole bunch of Black Men running around in extremely tight pants, shooting, slamming, dunking and banging with each other. Please say three No Homos to yourself after that last sentence.

Since I was just a kid I didn’t see anything wrong with all of that and I enjoyed the competition and gamesmanship. I remember the All-Star Game that was played back in 1965 featured so many Hall of Fame caliber players. The games were fast paced and there was always a lot of scoring (did I say No Homo earlier?). I can remember the game almost as if it were yesterday…

john stockton
JOHN STOCKTON dribbled the ball up the court…

coop
passing off for a layup to Tight Pants All Star and Long Socks Legend MICHAEL COOPER

clyde
The New York Knicks Tight Pants contingent got into the game when WALT ‘CLYDE‘ FRAZIER inbounded the ball to…

black jesus
BLACK JESUS from Philadelphia a/k/a EARL ‘The PEARL’ MONROE whose nifty ball-handling(n.h.) broke down the defense and then he passed to…

A.T.M.
BERNARD ‘AUTOMATIC MONEY’ KING who never missed an open 16 footer in his life.

ice, ice baby
GEORGE ‘ICEMAN’ GERVIN was as ice cold a competitor as anybody when he was heating up the scoreboard

rick barry
RICK BARRY didn’t have a cool on-court nickname like the jig players did, but he does have two or three sons carrying on his legacy playing ball in the current longshortsmen league.

moses
MOSES MALONE banged with MAGIC JOHNSON(extra N.H.) and KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR,

whos got the magic stick?
and you know that LARRY BIRD and MAGIC banged hard with each other.

the worm
While fellow Detroit Piston teammate DENNIS RODMAN grabbed a ton of broads boards…

a.d.
ADRIAN ‘A.D.’ DANTLEY took long socks and tight pants scoring to the next level.

'nique
Forget about those Atlanta child murders because it was DOMINQUE WILKINS who was killing shit with his sick repertoire of high flying dunks.

AIR
I don’t even have to say his name because you know who the man was in the tight pants that we were all jocking(extra super JIM JONES N.H.).

Those were the good ol’ days in the NBA. When the price of a courtside ticket could get you a show from tremendously gifted athletes and possibly a package with salty chocolate balls.

CALVIN KLEIN apparently likes salty chocolate balls.
(nullus to this entire post)

calvin klein aint no friend of mine

All Day I Dream About Sneakers…

Saturday, January 14th, 2006

eye fulls

I told you before that I went to Paris with C.S. in search of the Holy Grail of sneakers. It was probably due more to my imagination that I thought that there would be kicks that were impossible to find stateside than any actual proof I had been given. Europe is like this mythical place where they filmed the O.G. ‘Star Wars’ movies and my favorite film of all time, ‘Flash Gordon’. The one with that kick azz soundtrack by Queen (no homo). When I used to travel around the U.S. (east coast drug pipeline) I would always find stuff in North Carolina that had a powder blue colorway so I assumed that Europe would be the same way.

x-country choco swayde

What I did find in Paris is that motherfuckers have small azz feet. It was a righteous struggle to come up on some exclusive kicks that were a size U.S. 12. I thought Japan would be the place where all the size 9’s lived. C.S. and I traversed the suburb ghettos on a mission. Strange enough is that Europe shoves all the poor people into the suburbs and forces them to commute to work while the inner city is where all the money resides. Going out to the suburbs was cool because it finally gave us a chance to co-mingle with some colored folks. On the outside looking in Black neighborhoods in Europe appear to be similiar to Black neighborhoods in the states. The staple format for retail establishments is still as follows; leather jacket store – liquor store – baby clothes store – fast food joint – storefront church – sneaker store. Rinse and repeat this floor plan wherever you go.

where is the holy grail?

C.S. and I continued my crusade for the holy grail in a neighborhood called Cligancourt. On the weekends the central hub of the neighborhood becomes a wild open air flea market arena. The energy is turbo-charged and you can see that everyone is out and about in the mix. The key to these O.G. shopping malls is how you interact with the sellers. They give you a price full well expecting you to haggle with them to lower it. The back and forth is enjoyable for a little while. The way you close a deal in these situations is using the ‘show and go’ technique. You make your final offer while simultaneously taking out your cash. If the offer is rejected you place your cash in your pocket and begin to walk out of the store. Walk slowly because the store owner will not be able to control his urge to get your cash. More than likely he will call you right before you exit his store. This is how I came up on these kicks pictured below. Retro vintage ADIDAS Trimm Trabs in a sample size 9.

trimm trab

trimmtrab label

The Trimm Trab is a sick shoe. These joints were made popular by IVAN LENDL back in the early eighties. The silhouette is sleek like a track and field sneaker. Sueded nubuck is the minimum requirement for streetside styling. Peep the plastic molded lace eyelets integrated into the upper. I was happy to score them in a sick New York state blue/orange colorway.

Too bad for me that CHOCOLATE SNOWFLAKE wants me to start getting rid of my excess kicks so that we can make way for her LLADRO collection. If anybody out here is a sneaker fiend and they can fit a U.S. size 9(mens, of course) holler at your boy so we can make a deal.