Archive for the ‘Hollyweird’ Category

Panem Et Circenses…

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

vma

“Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the people have abdicated our duties; for the people who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses.” -Juvenal, Roman poet circa 200 A.D.

I want my MTV!” -Sting, rock musician circa 1985


Dire Straits – ‘Money For Nothing’

Nearly thirty years ago, in 1981 to be exact, the Music Television channel changed the soundscape of American music by broadcasting music videos. These videos weren’t simply montaged clips of artists holding their instruments while ain a studio recording session, they were shortform musical narratives. Back then some of the videos had million dollar budgets capable of bankrupting today’s independent music labels (Koch Records, er, E-1 Entertainment). This was because music videos became the primary promotional tool for records. That’s a dangerous game to play though when you use something visual to convince your ears it is worth your time and engagement. The racket worked for Music Television up until recently.

If videos killed the radio star then the internets killed the music channel. For Music Television to retain the attention of the vaunted 14-24yr old demographic (i.e.: people living in their parent’s homes spending all of their income on material shit) they are going to have to get more modern, not cooler, but hipper. The old people that sit in the offices of Music Television still think that choreographed stunts will keep them as the apple in the eye of the youth. Don’t you ever think for a minute that when Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s horrifying breastring at the same exact moment his ‘Rock Your Body’ verse stated “cause I gotta have you naked by the end of this song” that moment wasn’t choreographed? This is the shit they do now. Madonna tongue kissing Britney and Cristina is also their design. Sasha Baron Bruno’s ballsachs on Eminem’s chin is on their resume also.

As the music industry has been transformed by the internets so has Music Television. Viral video clips have replaced programming so instead of producing a themed show the producers at MTV are busy trying to craft a viral video moment. If ou think the exec that liberated Janet’s tittay wasn’t promoted when the smoke cleared you don’t understand the entertainment industry. MTV wants your eyeballs so bad they would do anything. In the high stakes game of dwindling advertising monies I won’t put them above staging anything. Their offices are on BROADWAY for crissakes!

The desire for Music Television is for the spectacle that has responsible people discussing these moments long after their value. One of the main reasons I don’t have cable television (aside from the fact that I can’t afford it) is that I don’t want to hypnotized by Music Television’s vacuous programming. This includes all the MTV substations like MTV2, Vh-1 and B.E.T. Sometimes I have to laugh that Black Entertainment Television is kept in the Viacom’s virtual slave quarters. They receive only the slave portions of programming. Pig’s feet amd chitterlings. B.E.T. recently fired their online editor Andreas Hale. I wonder if it was because he failed to be the company man that Viacom demands, especially of their Black employees.

Look at the Black people that work at MTV as an example. Other than generating lists that relate to rap as well as a Vibe list might they at least have the good sense to forego any individual acclaim. They are called the ‘Brain Trust’ which is certainly an oxymoron in itself, but recently they have renamed themselves the ‘1515 Boyz’. This is hilarious to me since I know that 1515 Broadway is the address of MTV’s headquarters. Since 1515 is the building’s house number aren’t these MTV employees actually referring to themselves as ‘house boys’? Let the internets SMH in unison. There is nothing good that will come from Music Television. Nothing but a choreographed circus.

Hip-Hop isn’t dead, but MTV is.

I Wasn’t ‘Bored To Death’…

Thursday, September 17th, 2009

btd wine

Before I talk about the new show that HBO is debuting this weekend I have to tell you my situation. I’m a few days in front of my next paycheck and I’m crawling to the finish line. The only thing saving me in these times are the marketing companies that have listening events or preview parties with free food and drinks. My meal for this day would consist of pizza, along with beef, pork, chicken and fish tacos (ugh, why did I do the fish?). The Hof Brau Dunkel dark lager was deee-effin’-lish. Plus, it had the word Dunk in it’s name. Free food for the motherfuckin’ win everytime. Now that I have taken the edge off I’m ready to watch some television.

HBO has yet to recreate a comedic series as monumentally genius as ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm’, but bless their hearts for continually trying. I wasn’t into the ‘Eastbound & Down‘ premiere as much. Don’t get it twisted, I fux with DANNY McBRIDE hardbody, but the writing for that show was visibly cliche to my senses. I was waiting for the rubber chicken to get pulled out. The new series ‘Bored To Death’ is way more watchable and should be a decent post-Curb treat.

The writing for ‘Bored To Death’ isn’t as under the radar smart as ‘Flight Of The Conchords’ (tragically slept on hilarity), but the punchlines and sight gags still snap and pop regularly. The creator and lead writer JONATHAN AMES lives in the urban fiction writer culture of white wine, sex and weed (stuffwhitepeoplelike) so he effortlessly describes it in the show. JASON SCHWARTZMAN plays the lead character who shares the same name as the show’s creator, along with his best buddy played by ZACH GALIFIANAKIS and his boss, for whom the classic TED DANSON has been cast, we have a nice little ensemble ready for the shenanigans to commence.

btd weed

ZACH’s character is a sex obsessed comic book artist, while DANSON is a pot-obsessed magazine editor. The deal with SCHWARTZMAN’s character is he is into the reisling a little too much. How can you be too much into reisling? I don’t know either but I will play along for the sake of laughs that should come from wino humor. Which is something AMES should add to the series now that I think about it. If the lead character is so heavy into his wines that his lady is forced to leave him he should also dabble in the bumwines a bit. That would give a nice little urban edge to this series.

DANSON and GALIFIANAKIS are scene stealers and the situations the lead character puts himself in will bring out the LOLs. I like the idea that the lead is an open minded recreational drug user. So much that he even considers smoking crystal meth. It’s funny to me because the character is supposed to be 30yrs old and not 21 (which is the ONLY age to be a legal recreational drug user). He’s too old to still be this irresponsible, but that is the story of so many other 30yr olds nowadays. JONATHAN AMES did it all so that hopefully you won’t have to make the same mistakes as him. Wine, weed and sex. It’s a wonderful lifestyle if you can live it.

btd sex

How Ecstatic Are You?

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

mos def

If you fux any kind of way with DallasPenn.com then you already know I love to give away free stuff. Spreading love is the Brooklyn way. Today I have a pair of tickets for the NYC leg of the Mos Def ‘The Ecstatic’ tour (featuring Jay Electronica) to give to the person who can tell me the names of these Mos Def tracks and which albums they were recorded for.

Put your answer on the thread. First correct commenter in gets it how they live.

*This is a standing room show; there will be room along the beach to spread a blanket and a few picnic benches. Expect to be on your feet for the show. The performance starts promptly; I recommend arriving no less than thirty minutes prior to scheduled start time. Please bear in mind that if there is an opener on the bill, the opener will begin at the scheduled start time, not the lead act.*

mos def

NYC Will Be Ecstatic…

Sunday, September 6th, 2009

ecstatic

Mos Def along with Jay Electronica will be making a stop at NYC’s newest outdoor concert venue – The Beach @ Governor’s Island.

Governor’s Island was a former Coast Guard station as recently as the early 1990’s and is slowly being retrofitted to become a sort of Coney Island type amusement park within New York harbor. I’ve visited the island previously and it is an excellent place to spend an afternoon away from the hustle and bustle of the big city. I imagine that concerts on the island also take on that laid back feel.

Mos Def will be performing songs from his latest album ‘The Ecstatic’ along with some of his other classic joints. Opening for Mos is Jay Electronica. Mighty Healthy spokesmodel 40 Diesel tells me that at this juncture in rap music Jay Electronic >>> Jay-Z. I’m gonna have to put that statement on the line and check out this show. You can follow this link to come up on tickets. The setting is right for some special guests to appear as well.

To Kill A Mouse…

Thursday, September 3rd, 2009

punisher

I can’t front when I tell you how sad I was that Marvel Entertainment was being acquired by the Disney Corporation. I felt like Marvel had just turned a corner with their motion pictures production company and I was very hopeful that I would see more media that lent itself to the renegade storytelling capacity which their comicbooks had possessed for decades.

The Iron Man movie and the latest Hulk feature film were the proof positive as well as Marvel’s animation department which turned out some great features earlier this year. That Hugh Jagoff Wolverine P.O.S. (piece-o-shit) wasn’t totally Marvel’s fault because their studio didn’t have final say. Actually, Wolverine was the kind of film I could imagine coming from the Disney camp.

The final details for the acquisition stil haven’t been made public but the language that has been bandied about so far is foreboding of what you can think a multinational corporation does when they takeover a property. The deals that Marvel has made with other movie studios can’t be altered. Yet. But don’t think that Disney’s lawyers won’t be hands-on for everything.

balactus

You can rest assured that Balactus will never see the light of day again. Disney lawyers are infamously venomous in protecting the iconography they own. They have no reservations about taking candy from babies or slapping women on a Sunday. With almost 4 billion dollars on the line they are going to be extra aggressive in making sure they get their money’s worth.

Maybe I’m just a horrible cynic though? Maybe this was the deal that STAN LEE always wanted in the first place? To have his body cryogenically frozen in the same icebox as racist ass WALT DISNEY. Too bad that JACK KIRBY went to the blue side of the moon several years ago. This pic of STAN LEE makes me think of HUGH HEFNER [ll]. Now I wonder when Disney will purchase Playboy?

playboy