Some lady coughed up wild stacks to have a new face transplanted on top of her mug.
DP does it for a whole lot less…
Archive for the ‘Talking Shit’ Category
The Slaughterhouse Studio Sessions…
Monday, December 22nd, 2008
I’m glad that the Slaughterhouse collective of Royce da’ 5-9, Crooked I, Joe Budden and Joell Ortiz was not just a marketing gimmick. The works that these four artists might create collaboratively could be the best shit we have heard in a long time and I have heard some great shit all year long. I loved 808’s and the Renaissance. Rising Down was my shit as well as the Mixtape About Nothing. D.I.R.T. was, in a word, grimey. There is so much good music all around me when it comes to listening to rap, yet still and all, I want to hear that Slaughterhouse shit.
This is why I made my way to the studio in a blizzarded out NYC. I was offered food and drink by the host, but the real draw was to sit in a session with Joell Ortiz and Joe Budden. When artists are serious with their shit and dedicated to their craft it is a privilege to watch them work. It helps you focus as well. I know Joe Budden is dead serious because he got to the studio early. In the blizzard. A host of other folks came through as well. Statik Selektah dropped off some beats on his way to see the Rakim set at Knitting Factory. There was also a reporter there from some German smut mag posing as a Hip-Hop periodical. Some shit called HHNOISE.
You can’t tell me that German mag isn’t pr0n. Germans are the dudes who created the whole world of 2girls-1cup. Like everything else they do Germans get all serious about their shit.
Do you know how many wack beats that rappers have to listen to? Millions. Possibly billions. Maybe even trillions. Damn, I don’t know how these dudes maintain the motivations to rap after reviewing the soulless bullshit from a thousand wanna-be producers. The best still find a way to deliver that good shit. Joell Ortiz and Joe Budden are two of the best around. They are only half of Slaughterhouse collective but they are twice as good as any other two rappers holding the microphone right now. The track they laced that night has the title ‘Move On’.
It was an interesting night as I watched these dudes take a blank canvas and paint their very own portraits of their lives. I have a newfound respect for rappers now too. Anyone that can come to the studio and focus themselves to compose lyrics while everyone around them is staring at the pen and pad in their hand is not only a genius but hardbody as well. These are the types of dudes that want the ball in their hands for the forth quarter or the overtime session.
[ll] to any man wanting the ball in his hands.
Here are a few videos from the session…
Deconstructing The Myth…
Tuesday, December 16th, 2008
Thuggin’ bubbles makes the kids go crazy…
I was all ready to go in deep to deconstruct the myth of Tupac being in the Top 10 list of rappers of all time and I just realized that he may not even make the Top 50 list. Calling Tupac the G.O.A.T. is like calling Lil’ Wayne the “best rapper alive”. The only way either of these scenarios is possible is if you remove every other rapper from existence.
I originally was going to compare Tupac’s lyrics against these other rapper’s best songs…
Rakim
NaS
Jay-Z
Ice Cube
B.I.G.
LL
Kool G Rap
Common
Big Pun
Andre 3K
Big L
KRS-1
Then I realized that I had left off so many other rappers who deserve to get placed in that control group.
Redman
Scarface
Ghostface
Raekwon
E-40
Treach
Black Thought
GZA
Method Man
Mos Def
Talib Kweli
And then I realized that there are these rappers who will come to surpass Tupac in lyrical quality like…
Joell Ortiz
Joe Buddens
Royce da’ 5-9
Crooked I
Game
Saigon
Fabolous
And then I thought about how eazy it was to make a list…
Young Jeezy
Kanyeezy
Lil’ Weezy
Lil’ Eazy
Febreze
Okay, maybe I’m wrong on that one. Tupac might could rap better than Febreze.
Attack Of The Money Changers…
Monday, December 15th, 2008
First off, this dude pictured above has a last name pronounced ‘made off’. Of course he was gonna do some shenanigans with the money you gave him. It was only a matter of time.
Madoff ‘Tragedy’ Said to Have Escaped Scrutiny by SEC
This story is so ill to me for so many reasons…
1) How the hell did he get this far without someone sniffing out his bullshit, especially with the volatility of the stock market for the last ten years since the Dot Com crash?
2) How did he manage to recruit more clients when he was reportedly not even paying the ones he already had invested into his firm?
3) How was he able to manage all of that money? I only know white to keep the best books on their assets as if their ass depended on it.
4) How do you make $50billion dollars disappear into the ethers? MADOFF definitely had some friends in high places to help him disguise his money movements.
*Enters the money changers*
The surest way for me to get merc’ked is to talk shit about the money changers. Those are the cats that freaked the whole game from way back. Peep this shit I thought of when I was tripping off LSD twenty years ago…
This man finds a gold rock and he picks it up. He likes the gold rocks because they remind him of the sun. Everybody loves the sun because it brings warmth and makes the plants grow and so on so forth. The man brings the gold rock back to the village where he trades the gold rock to the man who runs the biggest farm. Back then, farms were the shit. Think of the farm as the mall. The farm owner gives the man a few animals and blankets for the gold rock so that the man can go and do his own thing. The farm owner will give the man back the gold rock when he has returned the animals and produced some goods to barter with.
Pretty soon the farm owner is now the gold rock depository. But instead of giving the man more animals he gives the man a piece of paper that describes how much gold rock he has deposited. This paper will allow the man to secure goods from the townspeople that now produce them. The farmer is too busy counting gold rocks to continue farming which is hard work anyhoo. There is way more profit in charging people interest for the pieces of paper they borrow from him in order to go into the town square to buy their goods.
The farm owner freaked it by loaning people money based on the gold rocks he was holding that belonged to other people. Those wasn’t the farm owners gold rocks to begin with but as he amassed them he recognized their collective value. Plus the fact that no one was ever coming back for their gold rocks when carrying the slips of paper was so much more convenient. The game got even freakier when the former farm owner would adjust the rate of paper slips he issued to the amount of gold that was submitted.
The former farm owner could decide to issue less paper slips on the notion that he had enough gold rocks at the time and didn’t really need any more. What were you going to do as a peasant? Go to the next village with your gold rocks? Several months of traveling away from your family to possibly get the same news? What you would do is take all the paper slips that the former farm owner was going to give you and you would have to borrow some more paper slips to cover your additional costs. You would also be repaying the borrowed paper slips back at a rate of interest.
So by finagling with the amount of paper slips he issued for the gold rocks he received the former farm owner was really fucksing with the economy wasn’t he? Where is that jackass that claims that everything comes from Africa? This shit I am talking about definitely comes from Africa since that is where the first civilizations appeared. I bet them dudes in Africa, as futuristic as they may have been to build those pyramids didn’t realize that the paper slips would be converted into plastic squares. The plastic squares no longer reference how much gold rock that you have submitted to the former farm owners, but they still represent a credit on the work you will produce.
The more paper slips that your work generates the more credit is extended to you on the plastic squares. You heard a lot of people talk shit that America needed to switch back to a gold based economy in order to get their shit together again, but all the people that said that didn’t realize that we were in this fucked the fuck up condition from the time we WERE a gold based economy. No matter what currency we use we need to have an honest private sector that administers it and an incorruptible government that regulates it.
I know that shit all sounds retarded and the what not, but what do you expect from someone who was high on acid?
The Association @ ESPN Zone
Thursday, December 11th, 2008
A change is gonna come to how broke azz mofo’s like myself watch NBA basketball. I still don’t have cable service in my apartment so I have to go out to watch NAB games. This might mean watching NBA Ticket at my favorite bulletproof fried chicken Chinese restaurant or, when I have even less money I go to ESPN Zone.
I know what you are thinking right now. How the fuck can I go to ESPN Zone to watch a ballgame [ll] when I have even less money than is required to buy a five dollar try of chicken and fried rice? Firstly, I bring my own food and drinks. Secondly, I sit in one of the bathroom stalls at ESPN Zone that have their own personal screens telecasting the games.
I find this the most comfortable and efficient way to enjoy NBA basketball. Sheeeeeit, any sporting event for that matter. I get the quality programming of an ESPN broadcast, my own choice of refreshments and the ability to engage in one of my favorite pastimes – dropping a deuce. Puns are always intended here at DP Dot Com and this arrangement I use at ESPN Zone is a win-win for me no matter the outcome of the contests.