Archive for the ‘Weird Science’ Category

Damn Yankees…

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

ghey rod

It’s hard for me to shit on guys like JETER, RIVERA, POSADA and PETTITE who are products of the Yankee farm system under Gene ‘Stick’ Michael and not simply overpaid free agent freeloaders like Ghey-Rod. I was upset that Ghey-Rod was getting a ring because I felt like he didn’t deserve one since he is such a hump in the postseason.

RAFI ‘StatMan’ KAM pointed me to the Sabermetric value called the OPS+ which all the roto-fantasy GM’s are gaga over. The addition of slugging percentage combined with on base percentage adjusted to the fields a player visits gives you the OPS+. It’s a nifty little stat when you want to generate a value for players like Ghey-Rod. Barry Bonds pwns this statistic along with Babe Ruth and Ted Williams.

ghey rod

Ghey-Rod’s 2009 postseason has been the first one where he hasn’t sucked major ass but he still isn’t the star that some of the other less heralded Yankees were. Players like Jeter, Johnny Damon and Hideki Matsui are way cooler under pressure. When I reviewed the Ghey-Rod player card I was surprised to see that his BA (batting average) was over .350 for the playoffs.

Ghey-Rod is finally a World Series champion and I can’t take that away from him. He’ll enjoy the parade up Broadway this year and possibly several more before his career is finished. One of these days I may even come to appreciate his Sabermetric statistics (I doubt that). Meanwhile, the rich keep getting richer. Damn Yankees.

ghey rod

Done With The Dew…

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

the juice

I thought I had been going hardbody for the Mountain Dew, especially the blue, but I wasn’t going in hardbody enough. Peep Caron Butler’s pajamas…

The Knicks season tips off today and for at least one brief moment my favorite team is undefeated for the season. The Knicks visit D-Wade and the Heat for their opener tonight. Nerditry stand up. The Knicks need to see about getting DWAYNE WADE to join us during free agency. Him and LeBreezy together would be Ridiculon-3000. In the meantime and in between time I’ll be wearing an AL HARRINGTON headband.

Washington Wizards forward CARON BUTLER has a blog on NBA.com where he confesses to being a former Mountain Dew addict. Too bad that Butler isn’t doing the Dew any longer. If what the critics say is true that Mountain Dew shrinks your balls then maybe Caron might be able to finally make some baskets instead of rimming out [ll]. Oooooh, my bad on that one.

I’m sticking with the Dew until they jux me for the these Green Label Art prizes. I entered the sweepstakes to win a couple of prizes and I have been drinking all the Dew I need to gather game codes. Hopefully I come up on either the G-Shock or the ClawMoney designed New Era snapback cap.

new era
new era

If I don’t win I promised Chocolate Snowflake I wouldn’t fux with the Dew any longer, but if I did win then I would feel a kind of way by not continuing my support.

Here’s to the New York Knicks and their bid to be champs for the Association’s 2009-10 season.

Dew the do my dudes.

MARVELFEST 2009!

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

doom

MarvelFest 2009 is so official.

Should I be thanking the Mouse for this awesomeness?

It all goes down tonight on the former Virgin Megastore’s facade.

That was always one of my favorite backdrops in the city up until the day they closed. I’m glad the Mouse agrees with me.

doom
ironman

Thinking Outside Of The Bun…

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

taco bell

Supremacy is good for shits and giggles when its done properly. Amos and Andy? Heeeelarious. The breaking of Kunta Kinte? Not so much. Making fun of people with different customs is the best when someone from that particular group is the one doing the jokes. RUSH LIMBAUGH talking shit about Mexicans isn’t as awesome as a Speedy Gonzalez cartoon.

BOB GRIESE had a touch of the Limbaugh vocal diarrhea when he made the televised comment that JUAN PABLO MONTOYA was “out having a taco”, in reference to MONTOYA’s standing on the NASCAR leaderboard. Because MONTOYA is a Colombian the GRIESE comment has been posited as a slight. I don’t see it that way though. If GRIESE had said that MONTOYA was eating a bandeja paisa or sniffing an ounce of fisscale that might could be considered a slight.

dumb bell

White on white crime?

Racism makes no fuckin’ sense. How is this white dude gonna be a racist to this other white dude? Just cause a guy speaks spanish are you telling me that he can’t be a white dude anymore? I wish someone would explain to me who the fux is really white and who is just passing for teh white. This means that El Gringo Colombiano is no longer a white dude. Now he’s just a Mexican like Tony’s Kansas City. Tony what up?

And what is so wrong with getting a taco? Who doesn’t enjoy the crunchy meat filled flavor of a taco? I goes apeshit for Chipotle tacos. The only way people could get upset over a taco is if they were a racist and you gave them one of those new Taco Bell black tacos, but even a virulent racist would have to admit that for $.89cents a black taco was a good deal. Racism is still fucked the fuck up, but a supremacist’s gastrointestinal system recognizes great taste and his wallet respects a great price.

Somebody get the execs from Disney and PepsiCo on the horn so we can shoot a Taco Bell black taco commercial with GRIESE and MONTOYA.

DP.com Supremacy Corporate Synergy FTW.

Let us be your subversive advert agency.

taco bell

Tastemakers And Influenzas…

Sunday, October 25th, 2009

le flu

The White House is going to need to do its best marketing job evar to convince me to take a shot of the flu. And if receiving small doses of the flu keeps you from getting really sick then I want a ‘poverty’ vaccination so that I never end up really destitute.

Obama declares swine flu national emergency

There’s very little humor in that headline. By declaring flu a national emergency you are subsequently labeling anyone with the sniffles as a potential terrorist threat. In the new culture of big brother overseers it isn’t a stretch that co-workers will be anxious to report the person who sneezes or coughs tooo much for their liking.

I just watched a video which describes the methods that people in America will be quarantined in the event that martial law is declared in an infected area. It wasn’t that scary either. Provided they airlift food to the infected folks regularly the zombies were mostly held in check. Controlling the zombies is an everlasting key to survival.

So how does the president convince people to receive this ‘flu’ shot when they don’t want it? I’ve seen articles and interviews from doctors that have volunteered their own children to be inoculated with an experimental vaccine. You would imagine that if a doctor would put his own child through this it would be safe but what if his kids were all adopted?

I’ve got friends in various healthcare related fields that have had the flu shot mandated by their employers. Thats the part of universal healthcare that sucks. I don’t want to have any medicine forced down my throat. All of this recalls the buildup around the supposed swine flu epidemic of the 1970’s where the vaccine drug’s harmful side effects gave some people neurological damage.

At least we got some cool PSA commercials out of the deal that we can roll out today via YouTube.