Archive for the ‘Weird Science’ Category

Respect His Eminence…

Friday, May 15th, 2009

em

Are you ready for your Daily Mathematics?

For several years this weblog has existed I have tried to explain that the essence of rap could be described by using a mathematical formula. Rap is a hyper-evolved level of communication using music, melody and mnemonic devices. This is why it is loved all across the globe. The greatest achievement of the human species is our ability to communicate on the highest level with speech. If we only had body movements and yelling we would have never have invented Twitter.

I think that the highest level of rap artistry is contained in the artists that frequently use polysyllabic words. The complex compound words can contain several meaning all at once based on the root of the word and the context it is delivered. The artist commonly considered to be the best rapper of all time was the master of injecting his rhyme speech with polysyllabic words. These phrases bent and stretched his rhymes well past the verse they were spoken in and put them into the stratosphere as some of the most used quotes spoken in the Hip-Hop culture.

The most important word to an emcee is polysyllabic – microphone.

‘Nuff said.

Eminem’s latest album ‘Relapse’ is fantastic for it’s graphic gory content. This album is part of the great history of epic entertaining horror-core productions. This album is rap’s ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’. It is horrific, disgusting, profane, satirical and brilliant all at the same time. Lyrically, I consider this to be on a classic level. If the beats by Dr. Dre were swapped out for some of the dark production of DOOM, or more appropriately RZA, this album would be a certified classic. This drop though is to discuss the lyrical eminence of Eminem. A reader stated that this album was garbage. I don’t believe that reader listened to this album or if he did his ability to judge art is negligible.

This album is the VAN GOGH of rap music. The fact that Eminem even referred to himself as VAN G adds to his lyrical prowess. The heartbroken madman who has gleefully crossed the line into insanity is vividly painted in story format as well as open form rap braggadocio. I asked the reader to offer an album that contained better lyrics than ‘Relapse’. His offering was Lil’ Wayne’s ‘The Carter II’. That should already tip you off to the fact that this reader is a da-dunn da-dunt. Lil’ Wayne’s ‘The Carter II’ is actually Wayne’s best album. As I scanned over the album looking for a track to do a cross-reference comparison to I looked for songs that had similar lengths to the unusually long tracks posted on ‘Relapse’. I decided to use the track ghost-written by Juelz Santana called Tha’ Mobb.

As a repayment for Santana’s skills on this song I believe Wayne introduced Juelz to syrup.

wayne

Tha’ Mobb

Wayne uses 853 words in this song. Thirty(30) are polysyllabic. The longest being promethezine clocking in a strong twelve(12) letters. The key number in all of these stats though is the percentage of polysyllabic words to the entire composition. Wayne’s final numbers were 3.5169/1000. That is the percantage of polysyllabic words his verses would contain per 1000 words. Big Daddy Kane averages about the same. Kane is loved and feared, but no one, not even Kane himself, calls him the greatest rapper alive. Hyperbole lives and his name is Lil’ Wayne.

em

3am

The Eminem song I used is the comically violent 3am. This song had the same run time as Lil’ Wayne’s Tha’ Mobb (5mins 21sec). Eminem uses only 769 total words but forty-eight(48) of them are the 3+ syllable variety. The longest polysyllabic word in this murderous rap rampage was the thirteen(13) letter hallucinogens. Eminem was obviously on something extra to have the mind to craft this masterpiece. The average percentage of polysyllabic words per 1000 for Eminem is 6.2418 and approaching twice that of Lil’ Wayne. My point in all of this is to illustrate that the Relapse album is far from garbage no matter how you look at rap music. It merits your highest consideration for the lyrical content contained therein. And at the end of the day, instead of flow and swagger, shouldn’t lyrics matter most in RAP music?

BTW, Rakim Allah’s percentage on ‘Microphone Fiend’ was 7.272 and this is why we call him the G.O.A.T.

Additional background reading for those of you just tuning in to Dallas Penn…

Crap Music Is Making You Stupiderer…

G.O.A.T. Classic Rap Jam Cage Match…

All Day I Dream About Syllables…

More mathematics shenanigans @ DP…

Ghetto Celebrity Math Is For The Children…

DP IS A DIGITAL DARKIE…

Monday, May 11th, 2009

rafi gif

RAFI KAM told me the story of how he created an avatar of me for his Nintendo Wii gaming system because his son is a big fan of mine.

*Thanks EDDIE*

RAFI KAM is singlehandedly doing what NONE of the programmers in the gaming industrial complex are capable of or care to do for that matter. RAFI is giving people of color heroic possibilities within the gaming culture.

If RAFI can do this why can’t the industry recognize and address the need to make the characters of their games, and by extension those playing them more inclusive? It isn’t just a color issue either but a gender issue as well. The representation of women in video games was proactive only as far as getting Lara Croft to be naked.

People like to play games, but people LOVE to play games where they can also relate to the avatar, gliph, first person shooter or whatever is represented on the screen. This is the message that CELESTINE ARNOLD delivers at a PSFK conference. Check it out…

Fanboy Massacre…

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

fanboy wolvie

We are starting to see that some of the studios think they can put syrup on dogshit and call it pancakes. I’m not gonna say that the Wolverine movie sucks asscheeks like that, but the truth is that is was overhyped for the end product being as lame as it was.

It sucks to be a fanboy sometimes because we have to sit and watch as the canon of our favorite characters is destroyed in order to make entertainment vehicles to satisfy an audience that wasn’t riding with us from the gate. I accept the fact that some changes have to be made to storylines or else they would never fit into a motion picture entertainment format (2hr), but don’t start making up shit.

Wolverine is the kind of movie that I imagine Disney would make if they were controlling Marvel studios. All the fake emotion with no passion. This isn’t Aladddin. This isn’t Hurby the Love Bug. This isn’t 101 fucking Dalmations. This is supposed to be Wolverine. Known for blacking out and going into a berserker rage and shredding bodies like sheets of paper.

I’m not mad at you Marvel. Y’all got the Hulk right on point the second time around. I hope you let someone with the knowledge and the love of these characters to control the production on part two. If I don’t see blood there will be blood (no DANIEL DAY LEWIS).

wolvie hellfire guard

Cash Flu’s Everything Around Me…

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

cream

Can you believe that your credit cards could be saving you from being part of the swine flu pandemic? As we tumble faster towards a cashless economy the biggest endorsement comes from the supremacist daily a/k/a the New York Times on why cash is huge transporter for flu germs and other microbiotic pathogens.

Catching Flu From Money

This is the Smart Money article that the NYTimes story uses as its lead in. In truth, its really only us poor people that handle cash. Middle class folks and the rich are already firmly embedded with the mark of the beast. My Washington Mutual debit card even has a 666 sequence in the 12 digit card number. I would embrace the mark of the beast my damn self if it could make my debts disappear.

The problem with cash is that it isn’t a totally efficient system for tracking the economy in real time. This is why we will have to move away from it. The masters of our fates will want to know shit like where we are and what we are spending our money on. GPS tracking devices in our cell phones and our debit cards will triangulate our movements the same way radio transmitters tell oceanographers where the dolphins are.

If you think you can get off the grid you are sorely mistaken. Embrace your fates party people and the good news is that you may very well hasten the Rapture.

Moctezuma’s Revenge…

Friday, May 1st, 2009

moctezuma

In this advanced age of hyper-cyber-communication the paranoia of a pandemic spreads faster than the actual virus. And this H1N1 shit moves pretty fast. This is a perfect storm for the forces of EEEEEEEEE-vil. The reactionary media network wants to use this instance to fingerprint people and collect DNA samples. The racism that is being fomented is even deadlier than the virus itself.

But who is to blame for this untreatable influenza strain? Is it the Mexicans? What about the Chinese? Or is it the big corporations that process meats and produce on such a large scale that when a source becomes tainted it has already been distributed to half the global population? The proper popular name for the H1N1 virus should prA’li be the ‘ConAgra Virus’ but their D.C. lobby is way too slick to let that go down.

I remember the dysintery I acquired during a vacation in Mexico was nothing to fuck with. It had me sweating profusely, curled up under my covers like a scared child. I had to go out to Long Island to stay at my parents house so they could take care of me. Moctezuma wasn’t no joke. He was pissed off at being double-crossed by CORTES and the conquistadors. Maybe the best name for the swine flu is simply karma?