Archive for the ‘Weird Science’ Category

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BATTLESTAR GALACTICA FINALE = PU~

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

bsg

For several years Chocolate Snowflake and I have been riveted to the television set over the BattleStar Galactica series. I can count on one hand the programs that she and I watch with devotional religion, better known as DVR, and BSG is one of those shows (FYI – The Office, 30 Rock, SNL and Anthony Bourdain FTW). I was a little melancholy that this was thre final season of BSG. The show has been more than a little entertaining and exciting considering the premise is simply just a soap opera on a space submarine.

There have been real life themes addressed on this program that transcend the overall plotlines and make you forget that you are watching a science fiction program. I’ve discussed the movie BladeRunner here on this site often. BSG picks up on that theme of what exactly constitutes humanity. We are confronted with characters that are machines in theory, but they respond to situations with emotion that is raw and palpable to that of any “human”. Racism was laid bare and dissected when the viewer had to consider the differences between the human and Cylon perspectives.

“Why can’t we all just get along?”
– RODNEY KING

The BSG finale was going to the answer to this question. The answer was going to lie inside of the mind of a child. Isn’t that where the universe is always the most majestic. Children don’t understand shit like racism or recessions. I thought the writers would bring us to this conclusion but instead they gave us a wild and meaningless shootout and a final thirty minutes of misplaced sentimentality. WTF?!? I have not spent the last four years of my life following this show to be let down like this.

BattleStar Galactica should be ashamed with itself for treating its viewers to such a lazy and morose finale. If I had know they would finish their production in this manner I would have never invested a minute in tuning in this season. It was like getting 24 hours of constant intense foreplay only to find out that the lady spooning your sachs had her vagina removed. At least the Cylons Boomer and Number 6 had operable vaginas.

bsg

Posted in 5000, Fanboy Ish, Hollyweird, Lust = Love, Social Upheaval, The Addict, Weird Science | 9 Comments »

THICK CHICKS FOR THE WIN!

Monday, March 16th, 2009

jessica

Remember last month when I told you that chunky JESSICA SIMPSON was one of the baddest bitches on two wheels? Some of y”all dudes str8 up slept on her talking about how the ‘Dukes of Hazzard’ JESSICA was better. Chea ya’ right! It looks like the reason I was sweating the thick chick JESSICA is because in times of economic uncertainty the same neural receptors that favor accumulating resources also favor full figured women.

It’s like there’s something in a man’s brain that tells us that lean times are in front of us and then that everlasting biological survival mode kicks in and we start to eyefuck all the ladies with the big drawls. I feel like I have been ahead of the game for some time. From the gate I only fuxed with fat OPRAH. The slim OPRAH was like an evil robot. Most chicks don’t look right either when they downsize from thick to thin. You just knew ANNA NICOLE SMITH was about to crash and burn when she slimmed down.

Watch how many thick chicks become pop starlet superstars the longer our economy stays fucked the fuck up. JENNIFER HUDSON. KELLY CLARKSON. MADEA?!? We are about to find out how much our collective conscious can handle the idea of being impoverished. I wonder if this is how shit was during the time of PAUL RUBENS (no Pee Wee Herman)? Thick chicks were the cats pajamas back then too. If the stock market tumbles just a little further I may have to eBay myself the Queen Latifah swimsuit calendar.

latifah

Posted in BeYONCE Factor, BeYONCE's Hair, C.R.E.A.M., Crappers, Ghetto Celebs, H.A.M., Lust = Love, Social Upheaval, Weird Science, Wig Owners | 9 Comments »

BBBG’s Back On Top…

Thursday, February 26th, 2009

saarjtie

Don’t let it ever be said that I don’t have love for the sisters. Just like y’all haven’t upgraded me yet I will still ride out for y’all.

*oh sweet Hollywood Jesus please don’t send me no white girl with a booty*

Nahh, but seriously, I came across this group in Facebook and I thought about what a nice way to segue from Black History month into Women’s History month it would be for me to highlight their collective. Plus I have love for anyone who embraces the legacy of the Hottentot Venus and uses it to empower Black women as opposed to exploiting them. If you are unfamiliar with the backstory of SAARJTIE BAARTMAN please do the knowledge via Wikipedia.

For the last several years BeYONCE KNOWLES has existed as the reincarnation of the BAARTMAN bootylicious sideshow.

The SAARJTIE Project™ is a growing collective of artists and activists using original performance art to explore the continued fascination with the black female form, create dialogue and promote healing across communities. The SAARJTIE Project™ is based in Washington D.C. and what better town to be in to celebrate the ascendency and reclamation of the Black booty than the place where the First Lady is a little bit of a SAARTJIE?

I wish these ladies well in their movement but I just wish they would hookup with a few dudes to help their art production get tighter. Women categorically have difficulties with spacial recognition. The logo above is off center and it annoys me. Draw a straight line upwards from the endlines of the text on both sides. Why does that line cut off one of the arms of the silhouettes? That needs to be reworked so that the text and silhouettes form a nice rectangle.

I will like the logo even more at that point and it will make for a cleaner business card bitches.

BONUS INFO!!! Did you folks know that April is now Sexual Assault Awareness month? No seriously, most college spring breaks are in April and that month has the highest number of reported sexual assaults annually. Thanks for the info SAARJTIE Project™.

saarjtie

Posted in H.A.M., Lust = Love, Weird Science, When I Reminisce..., Wig Owners | 2 Comments »

Swimming With The Adults…

Wednesday, February 25th, 2009

athf

RAFI KAM knew just what I needed to pick up my spirits when I was in Atlanta. He patched me in to a friend of the iNternets Celebrities named JESSE THORN. MaximumFun.org is where JESSE puts it down via podcast. Peep his archives.

JESSE THORN was moderating a forum discussing online branding. One of the speakers was a guy named MERLIN MANN, who JESSE called the actual internet celebrity. *zing*. There was also a dude from AdultSwim.com which is like the only reason I would ever watch a television. After the forum I rode shotgun with JESSE and got a free lunch out of iTunes. After lunch there was more politicking to do with the folks that organized the whole event.

JESSE is huge on the radio. From National Public Radio to satellite broadcasts JESSE’s a pro and he is on the frontline of podcasting. This is something I need to get into like right now. If the iC’s start podcasting I think that will bridge the gaps between our video releases. The idea is to expand our brand through other forms of media. I met a lot of people that can help me do just that but what they all need is to see more content. The story of my life.

The afternoon took off when we made a trip to the Adult Swim offices. I almost creamed my jeans when we met one of the editors from ‘Squidbillies’. The offices were surprisingly tame and quiet from what I would have imagined them to look like. Sure, there was a compliment of action figures all around as well as Jolly Ranchers at the front desk, but where were all the people swinging from the rafters shooting Nerf guns at each other?

At the end of the day the Williams Street offices of Adult Swim are all about production and law and order. And whoever gets out of line will have to deal with Assy McGee.


DP x ASSY McGEE from dallas penn on Vimeo.

Posted in Fanboy Ish, Hollyweird, No Boutros Boutros... Ghali, Talking Shit, Weird Science, When I Reminisce... | 8 Comments »

Anti-American Graffiti And Post Apocalyptic Armageddon…

Saturday, February 7th, 2009

dilla rip

The assignment was simple in its design. BRANDON SODERBERG asked if people would like to create a drop or several commemorating a track from Jay Dee’s album ‘Donuts’. I already knew which song I wanted to discuss. I love the track called ‘Anti-American Graffiti’. I also knew I wanted to make a video that used the song as its soundtrack. I hope I did a good job of transferring my thoughts on the track with the images that I clipped and pasted together.

The song is almost like a marching anthem in the way that the drum kicks keep their time. I see an army stretching across the horizon goose-stepping in time. It isn’t a human army though. Well, not all human. They are cyborgs. Stepping on human skulls strewn about the landscape. Even though the human life has been muted there is still something lively about these man-machines and their march. This is the sad future of this planet.

In the last few weeks my thoughts have been on the war that the U.S. is still embedded in across the Middle East. From Afghanistan to Iraq and the tacit support and endorsement in Gaza there is so much blood on our hands as American citizens. I understand that everything that I enjoy as an American comes from the real sacrifice that is made by the U.S. military personnel. All the while their rate of suicide skyrockets to unimagined heights. Can the president wrest a control of this precedent?

When Jay Dee passed away in 2006 the country was almost three years deep in the tumult of Iraq and only six months removed from the disaster that was Hurricane Katrina. Jay Dee saw a world that was folding in on itself as if it had eaten a cosmic Black hole. Maybe we deserve this fate? At some point someone will have to take the weight and bear the burden for all of our complicit sin. With each generation the penalties and interest increase. Will our grandchildren even know what sunlight looks like?

Rest in peace James J.Dilla Yancey. Donuts forever.

J Dilla – Anti-American Graffiti from dallas penn on Vimeo.

dilla rip

Posted in 5 Elements, Crappers, Fanboy Ish, Ghetto Celebs, iNternets Celebrities, Social Upheaval, Straight Laced, The Guest Room, Weird Science, When I Reminisce... | 8 Comments »

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