Archive for the ‘Weird Science’ Category

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BlackBerry >>> iPhone

Wednesday, May 21st, 2008

blackkbeezy

The debate rages on as to which is a better device. The fake computer telephone or the fake telephone computer.

I personally fucks with Research In Motion’s BlackBerry. My cellphone service provider doesn’t offer iPhones anyhoo. As a matter of fact, my cellphone service provider, T-Mobile, refused to fix my BlackBerry device even though it was still under its first year warranty. The call center claims that the phone has been water damaged. That my friends, is a bullshit scam. The only moisture on my phone has been the perspiration from placing the phone on my face to talk into it. I should start a class action lawsuit against RIM and T-Mobile for the face cancer I will develop.

Anyhoo…

My BlackBerry screen is cracked diagonally yet I still post drops to this blog and even over at XXL. Try that shit with an iPhone. Its not possible since you have all this functionality embedded on the touch screen. Can the iPhone survive the real life mobile telecommunication device travails? I doubt it. But everyone wants the iPhone because it is sooooo sexy. Also because Apple Computers are markers of an affluent lifestyle. You somehow appear to be environmentally conscious even though their devices prA’li use more Coltan than the average. Your Apple Computers telephone is singlehandedly funding civil war in Africa.

At the end of the day there really isn’t any difference between the RIM BlackBerrys or the Apple iPhones. What matters is which device enables you to be your most productive. If you are concerned about which device makes the best looking accessory then you aren’t really into getting too much work done.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Weird Science, Wig Owners | 33 Comments »

TAKING ONE LAST TRIP…

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

trip sheet

Dr. ALBERT HOFMANN was the man who discovered the psychotropic properties of the chemical compound he created called lysergic acid diethylamide. For all of us layman that’s simply LSD. I salute this man who lived for over one hundred years, but finally crossed over to the other side on April 29th. I have had some incredible moments when I was high on acid.

For those times I thank the good doctor. And my connect in East Harlem on Lex.

The checkered history of LSD is a great study in how the pharmaceutical industrial complex controls our government along with Big Oil, Big Labor (prison industrial complex), and Big Guns (weapons industrial complex). LSD, when properly administered was an effective treatment for several mental medical conditions. It has been revealed that the CIA performed clandestine experiments with LSD throughout the 1950’s up into the 1970’s. The problem with LSD was that unlike heroin and later crack cocaine, the addicts became less prone to violence against others.

The CIA prefers the car-window smashing depravity of the crackhead I suppose.

LSD and acid are firmly entrenched in our collective psyches as the narcotics for hippies and other 1960’s counter-culture platitudes, but the real benefit of the drug is that it was used as a cure for alcoholism. Its greatest achievement doomed its success here in America where we create thousands of alcoholics on a daily basis. Any drug that stops you from spending your money is not viewed as a good (read: profitable) drug.

I think I may have to go in for a hit one last time.

PrA’li before I peep the new Batman movie.

Dr. HOFMANN would have done it.

trip sheet

* UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE *

The founder of Baskin-Robbins is now on a road less rocky.

R.I.P.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Harpers Weekly Review, Social Upheaval, Weird Science, Wig Owners | 13 Comments »

DOTS ALL FOLKS…

Thursday, April 24th, 2008

dot

Computers will eventually inherit the Earth. The question is whether they will wait for us to gift it to them from our stupidity or if they will forcibly take control of the planet. The reason computers will stay winning is because they are allowed to use all of their brain power. Humans… Not so much. Even though many doctors, scientists and researchers use brain performance enhancing drugs (no Superhead Roger Clemens) to boost the power of their grey matter we are still not getting much more than ten percent out from our cranium.

Considering the war in Iraq, the fact that America has established a worldwide brand of racism, the state of the African continent and the television program ‘Miss Rap Supreme’ I think that GOD designed us this way to protect ourselves, from OURSELVES.

khia

Now the news has leaked that scientists have cloned humans. What took these fools so damn long. This should be a boon to my biotech mutual funds. Scientific discoveries usually predate their press releases by several years considering all the confidential military applications that must be vetted prior to making these stories public. Maybe all these cloned humans can help alleviate some of the legacy model human beings still fighting in the desert.

Why aren’t more poor people being sent to Iraq? Not all of the poor people, just more. Honestly speaking, we can’t afford to lose all of them. Poor people are an important motivational component here in America. They keep the middle and working classes noses to the grindstone, for fear of slipping backwards out of their respective castes and becoming one.

What is problematic about science and medicine is that they exist now as for-profit endeavors. Doctors will only be interested in cloning people that have access (read: money) for this procedure when it is actually poor people we should be cloning. Wrap your brain around this… Our society kicks poor people in their arses at every turn. From failed economics and mis-education to institutionalized torture and bad nutrition. Yet after all of that, poor people are still here. A superhuman lives somewhere in the ghettos of Haiti and is eating a mud sandwich right now.

This is why GOD and computers stay winning. They don’t have to eat dirt to live. They eat dots. Or as my computer homeboys call them – pixels. Not GOD though. GOD eats black holes. Did you realize that the entire universe as we know it AND imagine it can be contained in a black speck smaller than the size of a pinpoint?

Just like GOD, I eat black holes too. Well, not just like GOD. None of us have any idea where we will go after we leave this planet, but we all know where we come from. A black hole. And every time I go there it feels like heaven.

JOHN WHEELER, a renowned physicist, is the man who placed the term ‘black hole’ into the scientific lexicon to describe the effect that results when a star dies and collapses onto itself. Dr. WHEELER died this week. I doubt that he wanted to go to heaven. I hope that he at least got to go to a black hole.

wheeler

* UPDATE * UPDATE * UPDATE *


‘Theme From the Black Hole’

Posted in Black Bullshit, H.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, Social Upheaval, Weird Science | 10 Comments »

Gattaca And The U.S. Government…

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

dna

If you haven’t seen the movie ‘Gattaca’ I suggest you do so if only to peep UMA THURMAN when she was undoubtedly the sexiest chick on this here planet Earth. ‘Gattaca’ was so futuristic I decided to invest heavily in biotech engineering stocks. I was so fucking sure we would have cloned humans by now. That was 10 years ago and those stocks plummeted when G Dubbz first took office. I do use the word “took” in the literal pejorative sense of course.

Just a little over two years ago Congress passed a law allowing law enforcement agencies to collect DNA samples for ANYONE that was detained. I agreed with DNA collection from convicted felons, but this shit is a bit excessive now. The problem with all of these centralized databases is that they are established and monitored by private firms who share their information with not just the government, but anyone asking for it. Not if I asked for it, or of you asked for it, but let’s say Blue Cross asked for it because they were reviewing my application to be a client of their insurance plan.

BAM!

My DNA speaks of my predisposition to diabetes, heart disease and whatever shit these fucks don’t want to pay health insurance for. You better believe that Blue Cross or whomever is going to use this information for that purpose since they stand to save billions in expenses. I was asleep at the fucking wheel when this passed through Congress, or actually, I was at my day job concerned with paying my mortgage and keeping my lights on. These fucktards from Congress are steadily mailing our asses to the highest bidder like this shit is fucking eBay.

Speaking of eBay…

Just got my copy of ‘Ninja Scroll‘ on DVD. Snail mail list be on the lookout for your DVD.

Posted in Black Bullshit, Harpers Weekly Review, Politricks, Social Upheaval, Weird Science | 9 Comments »

Bhopal Bollywood Batman Baby…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

bhopal

All that alliteration to say Indian infant Two-Face…

Most of you humps are too young to remember the Bhopal chemical disaster in India twenty five years ago. That was some shit that was fucked the fuck up. Union Carbide, an American company that produces industrial chemicals had some kind of crazy gas leak that merc’ked a gotdamned city in their sleep. Peep this description of the early morning hours right after the explosion of the tanks holding the toxic chemicals…

“Security staff were the first ones to be killed – even before they could react to the sound of the explosion. Those who fell were not picked up by anybody, they just kept falling, and were trampled on by other people. People climbed and scrambled over each other to save their lives – even cows were running and trying to save their lives and crushing people as they ran.”

“In those apocalyptic moments no one knew what was happening. People simply started dying in the most hideous ways. Some vomited uncontrollably, went into convulsions and fell dead. Others choked to death, drowning in their own body fluids. Many died in the stampedes through narrow gullies(small roads) where street lamps burned a dim brown through clouds of gas.”

“The force of the human torrent wrenched children’s hands from their parents’ grasp. Families were whirled apart,”

That sounds crazy like how that tsunami jumped off, except this disaster was even worse because the effects still linger in the DNA of those who survived. How else are you going to have a two-faced baby and kids with twenty plus toes and fingers?

I know I pitch a bitch along with El Gringo Colombiano about outsourcing and trade deficits and blah-blah-blah, but if I have to have a Chernobyl brewing in my backyard with generations of mutant(no X-Men) babies just in order to have a few hundred factory jobs I say no thank you. Let those Hindurabic motherfuckers get ALL of that work.

My fat ass will sit behind a desk and play Soduko Solitaire.

Posted in Black Bullshit, C.R.E.A.M., Harpers Weekly Review, Social Upheaval, Weird Science, When I Reminisce... | 7 Comments »

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