Archive for the ‘Weird Science’ Category

Eyes Without A Face…

Thursday, April 10th, 2008

average white bland

You can get with this, or you can get with that…

This is why I tell you to keep your eyes on the white, literally. When I was out drinking, or getting high, or whatever, white created a new science. That shit is called Koinophilia, and it is all about how humans select their sexual mates.

The study of Koinophilia does some silly shit where they place the images of similar genders on top of one another to create an “average” image. Like, who the fuck doesn’t know how to use Adobe Photoshop in 2008? These fake scientists are going to tell me that the reason I choose white women is because they are scientifically more beautiful?

No, I choose white women because I want my offspring to have an easier life in AmeriKKKa. The future prospects for a jig baby named TyQuan or StarrKeysha are fucked the fuck up. A mulatto kid named Chandler… Not so much. Still and all at the end of the day the Koinophiliacs missed the point if they think that natural selection has anything to do with nostril symmetry.

While white may have the advantage when beauty is promoted through the mainstream media, the real natural selection still favors Black girls. Until white naturally develops the official ba-donk-a-donk, the specimen pictured below will remain the ultimate representative of fertility. Peep the cottage cheese. Tasty.

tasty

BattleStar Is Back…

Saturday, April 5th, 2008

battlestar galactica

The best series on cable television for the past three years (fuck a Wire) is back for its FINAL season. ‘BattleStar Galactica‘ is like watching ‘Star Wars’ mashed up with ‘Melrose Place’ with a side order of ‘Law & Order’. Shit is that good. Plus, you don’t need premium cable to watch this joint.

The Sci-Fi Channel debuted the latest BattleStar episode last night and beforehand Spike TV was broadcasting ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace’. So you already know that my ass was in the house instead of running the streets chasing down some happy hour with the Bridge and Tunnel crowd.

The first episode of the new season picks up with the return of Starbuck to Galactica. Everybody doesn’t trust her since she was gone for two months. The remaining humans still have a distrust fear of the Cylons and rightfully so since the the Cylons are into merc’king humans. It turns out that some of the Cylons are actually high ranking officials in the human fleet. The indian chick that is the assistant to the president is a Cylon now. Cylons make sure that they bag up all the hot broads.

My favorite Cylon now is Boomer. I liked #6 at first, but now that Boomer is a Cylon I like her more. First off, you know how domestic asian women are with that whole foot-binding thing they do. Can you imagine then an asian robot woman? That’s like getting a geisha to the tenth power. GRACE PARK, whether you are human or Cylon, you are the reason I keep a bottle of Burt’s Bees lotion on my bathroom sink.

boomer

Incredible Hulk 2008 Theatrical Trailer

Monday, March 17th, 2008

hulk

Starring ED NORTON

Hulk vs. Abomination

Chuuuuurch!

Marvel stays winning. No wonder HEATH LEDGER had to die.

DEREK JETER Is Yanking My Chain [ll]

Wednesday, February 27th, 2008

jeter

I’m excited for this drop, but definitely not because of the above photo detailing the secret lives of two Yankee superstars. Truthfully, I always suspected the Yankee captain was a power bottom [ll].

I’m hyped because I am doing this shit from my Crackberry 8700. I usually have to run up in a library when I am at work. If this shit works out I might do more drops a day. Maybe even one an hour?!? Hell nahh. Who would do one blog drop every hour? That’s for people with too much to say about nothing, and no one to talk to about it.
*shots fired*

Nahh but seriously, let’s go in on DEREK JETER’s statement that MLB players should randomly submit blood tests to prove to fans that the game is legit. Halfrican please!?!

What fan of baseball really cares about that shit? No, seriously? Most people that read this site already know well enough not to fuck with me and come here sideways. I would love for some quote unquote baseball fan to tell me that he or she can’t watch the game anymore because these baseball niggas take HGH, or cocaine, or pine tar or whatever they put on their bats.

[ll]

Are you gonna stop these motherfuckers from taking an Advil when they have a migraine that arises from the concussion they received after getting hit in the head with a ball? Why not? That Advil becomes a performance enhancing drug since holmes couldn’t také the field that day without popping it. You can not clearly define what a performance enhancing substance is so why are we even giving a fuck?

How many U.S. kids are already dead in Iraq and Afghanistan and these congressional cowards are talking about steroids? Someone leave me a link in the comment thread hotammit!

Memo to JETER: If you really give a fuck about the fans then you and the MLBPA should keep your blood to yourself and tell the ownership to make some fucking ballgames affordable. I don’t give an eff who is sticking what in who’s ass. I want to see pitchers throwing fastballs over 100mph and sluggers hitting those pitches 600ft.

Fuck all that other Bud Selig bolshevik y’all niggas is talking.

Whitey On The Moon…

Friday, February 22nd, 2008

time mag

Reports have placed the U.S. spy satellite at approximately 150 miles above the Earth.

150 MILES?!?

That is like walking distance or some shit.

That doesn’t seem far enough above Earth in my mind. If I drive 150 miles from New York City that puts me in south Jersey or some place. If satellites fly overhead at a height of 150 miles above Earth I could prah’lee spot them on a clear day.

They sure as hell can spot me.

Do you think they will ever release the satellite images of NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON getting merc’ked? You do know there was a gang of killers that shived her ass along with her cokehead poolboy RON GOLDMAN?

Oh well, babies will still go hungry in the U.S. while whitey is on the Moon.


GIL SCOT-HERON – ‘Whitey On The Moon’