Archive for the ‘Social Upheaval’ Category

POLITRICKS 2008: Pay Now, AND Pay Later…

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

iraq money

One point six trillion. Just say that to yourself. Trillion doesn’t even sound like a real word. That sounds like some made up shit that crunk rappers might use. “Chillaxin in the trap with a trillion hos keep it trill.”

Supposedly, trillion is the designation for numbers exceeding billion. How the fuck do you go higher than a billion? I remember when a million was a fantasy numeral. Now you can buy a hguman skull embedded with diamonds for over a million dollars. Was I high or something when we leapfrogged over the years where a billion was that mystery number? It seems like we just went from the ‘Six Million Dollar Man’ in the one point six trillion dollar debt.

Report: Iraq, Afghan wars cost U.S. $1.6 trillion so far

Here’s why I’m so confused…

The Six Million Dollar Man could do all kinds of super powered shit. We could have sent a hundred of them into Iraq and Afghanistan and that wouldn’t have cost us more than say… $800 million. Do you know how many Six Million Dollar Men we can buy for one point six trillion? Over two hundred and sixty thousand, or twice the number of U.S. troops in Iraq right now.

Since we all know that the government hasn’t been spending even a million dollars on each of our soldiers sent into the desert the question becomes where has ALL of this money has gone? In simple mathematical numbers without the addition of fantasy termsa like trillion or even billion it is plain to see how fucked in the ass our economy will be. Paying off this war will mean that China will pwn our asses until my grandkids’ grandkids reach maturity.

Which presidential candidate will be hardbody enough to say the truth?

BENAZIR BHUTTO’s Gangster Bitch Chronicles by MAXINE

Tuesday, November 13th, 2007

benazir bhutto

Editor’s note: MAXINE is one of the new voices that will come through and bless us with some drops. Peep homegirl’s game and how she goes in right out of the gate.

What do Benazir Bhutto and Irv Gotti have in common? Money laundering charges. What don’t they have in common? $1.5 Billion and a reality show, can you guess who has what?

Benazir Bhutto is a Pakistani politician and the first elected woman to do a whole bunch of shit you won’t remember by the end of this drop. The “Supreme B,” as I like to call her, has been running shit by way of her associates for a long time, beginning with her father Zulfikar Ali Bhutto, a former premier of Pakistan and founder of the Pakistan People’s Party (PPP), the largest and most influential political party in the whole country.

B’s father was dismissed as Prime Minister in 1975 on charges of corruption and conspiracy to merc’k the father of a political opponent, because of this, he was sentenced to death (by then President Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq) and subsequently hanged Saddam style in 1979. In the aftermath of Papa Bhutto’s execution, B went on to become a leader in exile of the PPP, acting as the direct opposition to anything anti-democracy and thus building trust amongst dipshits, I mean, diplomats in the western world, aka, American diplomats.

In 1988, the PPP (B’s front for power) won the largest bloc of seats in the National Assembly, Bhutto thereby becoming the Prime Minister of Muslim Pakistan (So this really means she didn’t win the election so much as she had her people thug-style their way in, kinda like what Jim Jones and Juelz attempted to do at Chris Brown’s party).

Still looking for those Gotti comparisons? In 1990, B was dismissed on conspiracy and corruption charges and was re-elected in 1993, only to be dismissed again on, you guessed it, conspiracy and corruption charges. This is only the beginning of a career plagued by controversy, corruption, house arrest and other shady shit. I don’t have time to fill in all the blanks for you, and besides, Pakistan could be fucking pine needles and farm animal straw by the time you’re done reading this, but what I’ve come up with is this, Benazir Bhutto has more in common with your favorite rapper/mogul than you may realize. Here are a few common denominators I’ve come up with to start us off…

  • Appointment to a position that some may deem “controversial”
  • An appearance of being “for the people” while really fucking the people
  • A direct incestuous connect to the game, via, some family member, preferably father figure
  • Accusations of corruption and money laundering to further finance some other shitty side project
  • Her friends/weed carriers keep getting killed
  • You with me? Now, who fits the criteria? Let’s start off with some of the usual suspects…

    irving Irv Gotti
    In 2005, Gotti and his brother were accused of laundering drug money through Murder Inc to Kenneth ‘Supreme’ McGriff. There’s speculation that said dollars went to protecting Murder Inc (didn’t Ja get his ass whipped in Queens like 2 summers ago?) and for Supreme’s crew to act as enforcers for Gotti and Co. I actually like the more accepted theory about using that money to kill Curtis ’50Cent’ Jackson but hey, who am I? Both brothers were acquitted of all money laundering charges but suffered blows to both financial stability and street credibility.

    jay Jay-Z
    In 2004 or somewhere around there, Jay accepted the position as President of Def Jam Records, looking to lead the struggling company back to the top. As a part of the deal with Jay, Universal Music Group (read: the motherfuckers who are really running this rap shit) also acquired Roc-a-fella Records and all other ventures under said name, kinda like Bhutto did with the PPP. So alright, I’m not that upset about this particular Carter Administration. I couldn’t really give a fuck about those starving artists over there (I’m a writer okay?), nor do I care about him promoting shitty music over GOOD music (I’ve never owned a Rhianna album and don’t plan on it). What I DO care about is the Brooklyn Nets arena project which could force tons of cats that have been living in Brooklyn for ages out of their homes. Mostly due to gentrification as a result of the luxury motherfucking condo’s coming into the borough. Fuck you Bruce Ratner, I don’t believe you, you need more people, you asshole.

    clifford T.I. (the rapper, not the racists)
    Bhutto hadn’t even been in the fucking country for 24 hours when 2 explosions occurred after she landed at the airport in Karachi, those Jihadist motherfuckers were not playing when they said stay out of their hood. She told the government this would happen, they didn’t give a fuck. You may remember T.I. and Co. got chased out of Cincy a while back, ending in his best friend’s death. He still can’t fuck with the ‘Supreme B’ though, 136 dead (with most being bodyguards or political allies of Bhutto’s) and 450 injured. Clifford, not even your little closet arsenal can fucks with Benazir.

    diddy Sean Combs
    I know, I know, he’s really NOT a rapper, even though he thinks he is, BUT he qualifies because his dad was reportedly a gangster. Can anyone verify the cause of death for Melvin?

    lil wang Lil Wayne
    Stuntin’ like my daddy. Need I say more? I could but it’d be too easy.

    Word on the streets of Islamabad is that The ‘Supreme B’ has about $1.5 Billion chillin in some offshore account and is about ready to wreck some shit. She’s been sneaking in a few punches here and there, kinda like Saigon and Prodigy, but different. Watch out Musharraf, you don’t wanna rumble with this queen B do ya?

    By the way, they call me Maxine, nice to meet ya.

    A SAPPHIC SLAVEDRIVER…

    Sunday, November 11th, 2007

    ellen

    One of the biggest perceptions that most people have for some reason is that a lesbian is a kind, gentle, understanding, compassionate person. You would be wrong though. A lesbian is more often than not the most evil, calculating, ruthless persona in our society. At least in the case of ELLEN DeGENERES, we can find more of a Machiavellian attitude than a matronly spirit.

    People assume lesbians to have the highest regards for human rights, civil rights, workers rights, et al. Well not so much. Most lesbians have a greater concern for animals rights than they do for the needs of fellow humans. ELLEN DeGENERES is so callous she doesn’t even give a shit about a dog, and you all know how much white goes in for dogs? If ELLEN were the president of the United States she would order a nuclear strike on Hawaii just because the weather was too nice.

    ELLEN’s latest attempt at ruining the livelihoods of other people has been her unwillingness to honor the labor strike initiated by television and film writers. ELLEN has crossed the picket lines repeatedly in order to continue the taping schedule of her talk show. Her promise to her writing staff was that she would wear the same pair of tennis shoes for every day until the strike has been settled, or until she feels like changing her sneakers.

    Whether it is the workers of New York City’s public transportation system, or the television and screen writers guild, we here at DP Dot Com unwaveringly support labor unions and the work they do to maintain the quality of life for the American worker. I respectfully ask you good folks to turn off your televisions while this writers strike is still in effect.

    Besides, the internets has way better content.

    SEARCHING FOR MY SUSAN…

    Saturday, November 10th, 2007

    sue simmons

    Double entendre abounds at DP Dot Com…

    Would you like to become an iNTERNETS CELEBRITY?

    DP Dot Com is looking for a female writer to post her thoughts here on the site. The pay is horrible, but you will have monthly access to speaking to over 40,000 individual IP addresses and the eyeballs contained therein.

    Just look at the success of previous DP Dot Com interns…

    JACQUI HERNANDEZ has her own blog – Persuede

    GENEVA JONES is engaged to be married to longtime Jets’ fan ‘The John’,

    and JOJO McQUEEN is pregnant with Jay-Z’s lovechild.

    All this means that we have a dearth of female voices here at the website and I would like for someone to come on board that wants to be heard and responded to. You can discuss anything and everything that comes to your mind. Your work won’t be edited according to themes or
    content because we just don’t give a eff here at DP Dot Com. Let your first drop be something like “why DP is a fat bastard.” Let your first drop be about whatever you want.

    If you are ready to have your voice and your opinions broadcast to the world then you are ready to take over the correspondent slot opening here at DP Dot Com.

    All Day I Dream About Syllables…

    Friday, November 9th, 2007

    jmj adidas

    R.I.P. JMJ

    Over twenty years ago RUN-DMC blazed the trail for corporate America’s use of rap music to identify and brand products purposefully. Name dropping luxury items has always been a staple of rap music’s canon, but never before had a corporation made the direct connection to openly recognize the influence. More often than not corporations design their lust for disenfranchised peoples dollars by saying that disenfranchised people aren’t allowed to own their products. This usually brings waves of poor people’s money towards that brand since poor folks want nothing more than to appear NOT poor (see DP’s sneaker collection).

    Give Adidas all the credit for hiring Hustle Simmons’ amazing threesome to craft an homage to their footwear that has lasted the test of time. If only a crispy pair of leather Rod Lavers could stay this fresh for this long. What allows the RUN-DMC tribute to remain viable after all of these years is the song’s simple yet sturdy construction. This is where we decide to employ DP Dot Com’s patented rap-ology technology. Let’s study a few of the songs created as homages to different sneaker brands and see if we can determine if someone’s intelligence is directly connected to the footwear they consume.

    Rap music is an artform that employs language to describe life in such a way that it resembles a painting, or better yet photography. It’s been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Let’s use that benchmark to grade these songs. If all of the compositions were a thousand words long which one would be written by the college level student and which one would come from the da-dunn da-dunt?


    RUN-DMC – ‘My Adidas’
    My Adidas remains the gold standard for corporate-sponsored Christmas gift wrap. Succinct and to the point. You know exactly what these dudes are talking about and they don’t waste any words on bullshit. Yes, the brand name is repeated several times and it is a polysyllabic word in itself, but tell me the last time someone used the word “university” in a rap song?!?

    TOTAL WORD COUNT – 420
    TOTAL POLYSYLLABIC – 27


    NELLY featuring the St. Lunatics – ‘Air Force 1’s’
    NELLY and his crew of colorful weedcarriers craft a song that more than doubles up the length of the Def Jam classic, but even at over a thousand words their love for Air Force Ones is mostly at the level of elementary school poetry written in Crayola crayons.

    TOTAL WORD COUNT – 1060
    TOTAL POLYSYLLABIC – 13


    SOULJA BOY – ‘(I Got Me Some) Bapes’
    After 875 words and not one single polysyllabic word you can discern fairly easily that only retahds are wearing BAPE sneakers. Weep for the future.

    TOTAL WORD COUNT – 875
    TOTAL POLYSYLLABIC – 0

    poly graph