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I can’t believe that GIULIANI is still relevant at this point in the 2008 presidential campaign. I felt so assured that he would have been self-ethered when documents were leaked that he and MICHAEL VICK trained dogs together. GIULIANI’s pitbulls however are people. From CHRISTYNE LATEGANO to BERNARD KERIK (who incidentally had to be summarily put down), the former Mayor is a snarling dog owner who takes no greater pleasure than watching his attack dogs as they dismember someone. I don’t have to wonder where GIULIANI stands when it comes to MICHAEL VICK either. It’s weird that so many people are concerned about the ethical treatment of animals, but the ethical treatment of other people, especially the poor… Not so much.

GIULIANI never struck me as a man that was into sports for the plays or the players. GIULIANI loves the spectacle. He is that Roman senator that catches wood when people are thrown to the lions. To that extent he will be a sought after prosecutor, but never a president. He’s still going to shoot the shot anyhoo. And why not? He’s got tons of cash and the threat of McCAIN pushing past him is starting to fade. GIULIANI is like a horse breaking away on the turn at the Kentucky Derby. Let’s see if he has the legs to carry himself all the way. I wonder where all these dog lovers come in on horse racing. It was pointed out to me that everything that is bad with sports is contained in horse racing, from animal abuse to rampant steroids use.

Doesn’t GEORGE STEINBRENNER, the owner of the Yankees. also own several stables of racing horses? Why aren’t the Feds swooping down on him for cruelty to animals? That answer is so simple that it doesn’t need to be said, but I will put it up anyhoo.

Peep GEORGE STEINBRENNER’s political contributions…

That list tells me that RUDOLPH GIULIANI was in GEORGE STEINBRENNER’s wallet from way back. There was a senator named ALPHONSE D’AMATO who ran New York as if it were his personal fiefdom. RUDOLPH GIULIANI carried weed for ALPHONSE. I don’t say that euphemistically either. In 1986, GIULIANI and D’AMATO dressed up in Hell’s Angels outfits and went up to Washington Heights to buy crack and weed together as a publicity stunt. What I didn’t realize back then was that GIULIANI and D’AMATO were into playing dress up as leathermen. Come to think of it, GIULIANI is into that drag lifestyle something fierce, huh?!?

Well if GIULIANI insists on dressing in drag and wearing his fancy baubles to the White House then he had better stay in the money. Whoever said that the CLINTON’s were the only politicians that have access to Hollywood connections obviously hasn’t met RUDY. It looks to me like GIULIANI isn’t doing too bad at all with the jetset elite from the left coast.

ADAM SANDLER chipped in…

And even my former favorite first baseman, KEITH HERNANDEZ…

RUDOLPH GIULIANI might be short on charisma, but he certainly won’t be looking for a loan with these friends. I am going to leave this drop alone now. I have to put my ‘Sopranos’ and ‘Fraser’ DVD box sets along with my throwback Broncos jersey and ‘Waterboy’ t-shirt in the incinerator.