Archive for the ‘Social Upheaval’ Category

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things…

Sunday, August 6th, 2006

chunks

You kids know that I love doodee, but did you know how much I loved vomit?

It’s like my favorite thing to discuss after I’ve eaten a meal with friends, especially if we enjoyed something with a meat sauce or parmigiana. I love the sickeneing smell of throw up too. Throw up in the snow is cool because it comes out of your mouth all hot and what not. Enjoy some of my throw up pictures. I hope you’re just getting home from a night of heavy drinking and you decide to throw up. Do me a favor and grab your camera first.

chunks

chunks

chunks

This last picture is only for my hardbody viewers…

Don’t open this link if you can’t handle the truth.

Let’s Get Physical…

Saturday, August 5th, 2006

olivia

If I do another M.I.L.F. list you can be sure that OLIVIA NEWTOWN-JOHN will be getting my greasy manhood. However, this post isn’t about m.i.l.f.s or musicals, but it’s all about getting sweaty. Tomorrow night my cousin BONECRUSHER will debut on VH-1’s show that displays fatty angst called ‘Celebrity Fit Club’. Just like me, BONECRUSHER is a fat smelly bastard, but everybody else on the cast smells like shit too (except ANGIE STONE, she smells like ass and baby powder).

crusha

BONECRUSHER – smells like hot ass and barbeque rib sauce.

pussy VINCENT PASTORE – smells like Jimmy Hoffa’s ass and pussy.

family ties TINA YOTHERS – What would we do baby without us ba da ba daaaaaa. I smell Alex Keaton shoved up her ass.

isaac TED LANGE – Tatoo is definetly shoved inside this dude’s arse

carnie CARNIE WILSON – stomach staples are falling out her crusty ass.

nic the spic NIC TURTURRO – I didn’t know JOHN TURTURRO’s brother was a Mexican?!? You do know that all Mexicans keep a can of guacamole in their asshole?

d'angelo's meatbag ANGIE STONE – I smell doodee and neo-soul

baywatch beatbox ERICA ELENIAK – I saved her for last because I want to beat fire out of her ass just to spite HASSELHOFF.

VH-1: Where dead celebs go to have their caskets opened.

A Soldier’s Story…

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006

dad

I just came home from Cypress Hill Cemetary where my dad is finally resting from his long journey. Even though he was only on the planet for three score rotations around the sun, he had traveled to the ends of the planet and back again. He was hardbody and he had logged in a lot of mileage. I can remember him telling me how tired he was one evening as we sat on the deck in the back of his house. He was tired of the heavy lifting and the emotional baggage was dragging him down. In all of my life I had never heard my father sound so vulnerable. He was clairvoyant also because the following morning he heart failed him as he was leaving for work.

dad

If there are any U.S. servicemen overseas that can read my blog in their downtime I salute you men and women for your sacrifices. The ideal of America that you put your lives down for should represent you better than it has. Part of the problem is that we citizens don’t demand courage or compassion from our elected leaders. Instead we have rewarded complicit duplicitous cowardice. We are to blame for the senseless deaths of U.S. lives abroad as much as the greedy war mongering power brokers. As long as our lives are relatively easy and filled with leisure we will never demand justice for all of the people of this planet..

dad

After my father’s passing I discovered some of his old paperwork and keepsakes from his time in the U.S. Marines Corps. One of the most startling items was my dad’s draft induction letter. There was an NYC subway token taped to the top of the letter. The scotch tape was that industrial type from the 1960’s that could rip the hair off your arm. The imprint of the token was embedded in the tape’s glue, which was long dried solid. It startled me that the Armed Forces was so dead serious about draftees making this induction physical so much so that they were mailing you the carfare if you didn’t have the means. My dad was always bitter about being drafted since he was in college at the time and there were plenty of people standing on the street corners or hiding behind their parents’ wealth that could have used the discipline that the Army provided.

dad

My dad actually did two tours of duty in Vietnam. When he returned home after his first tour in 1968 he found out that America was deadlier on a Black man than Vietnam was. MARTIN LUTHER KING Jr. had been assassinated earlier that year and the subsequent civil unrest that followed removed much of the opportunity that he had seen as being progressive for Blacks in America. He returned to Vietnam where the color of your skin meant little or nothing to all of the grunts that were over there just trying to survive another day.

dad

An interesting sidenote is that one of the men in these pics with my dad would be one of our neighbors in Queens where I was raised. He and my dad never shared more than a word with one another. I have no idea what those two men experienced and my father never volunteered any stories to me about his time spent in the Marines. My dad did take me to see ‘Apocalypse Now’ during the opening weekend in 1979 and he told me that it was an actual account of what Vietnam was like. Suffice to say, I never completed my Selective Service registration. I sit here relieved of my duty because so many brave men and women have volunteered their freedom. Veterans and active servicemen deserve our unfailing support even if their captains and commanders are men with only the conviction for money and ill gained trappings. Without their sacrifice this blog would never have been possible.

Thanks dad.

dad

Dr. BILLY SUNDAY Explains That Crap Music Is For Retahds…

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006

your brain on snap

This is a picture of the brain of someone listening to popular rap music. As you can see the cerebellum is malformed and there is also a black arrow taped to the medulla oblongata. However, the clearest sign that popular rap music makes a person brainless is the fact that this brain is no longer on the inside of a skull…

When I said that rap music was making you dumber it seems to have touched a nerve among some of the readers at this site, to which an incredible amount of inane and ridiculous comments have followed up the original post. I won’t spend time refuting the naysayers individually because I realize that I may be talking too much. Instead I will be concise and succinct in my explaination so that anyone who chooses to comment will have clear examples to compare.

1) Popular crap music is no longer art, but disposable commercial bullshiite.

Art has a contextual relevance and a permenance as a cultural marker. Art will indicate the watermark that the culture that created it exists in. It reveals what you know about your universe and what you value inside of that knowledge. It tells other stories as well. Are you a heroic people, or simply brainless cowards? Do you seek challenges or simply the lowest common denominator, the status quo.

Art is on some deep shit like that and all of you neggars need to recognize. If your art is afraid to challenge you to think then by default it makes you a coward, and a dummy. I said that popular crap music was for retahds, but there are some retahds that are fucking hardbody. They might be as dumb as the hyphy song, but they ain’t taking shit from nobody. Those are the retahds that are too smart even to listen to ‘Snap’ music.

snap music

EXHIBIT 1 is a simple piece of art. We all get it. You pat the person that created it atop the head and you hang it on the ‘frige with a magnet until it gets yellow and hopefully the artist grows up and develops the cognitive motor skills to create more complex imagery. The only person keeping this crap would be the woman that birthed this retahd. Women are programmed to be like this and that is why so many enjoy the misogyny of popular crap music even though it leads to physical abuse and rapes.

underground hip-hop

EXHIBIT 2 is a more complex piece of art. It plays with color and texture brilliantly. Just like EXHIBIT 1, this sample describes something that we imagine to be real, but the abundance of carefully precise details makes that representation more factual and substantial. If you were walking down the street and you saw both EXHIBIT 1 and EXHIBIT 2 in framed glass and you could take one home with you which one would it be? Can we all agree right now that you would have to be retahded if you chose EXHIBIT 1?

What is happening right now in popular culture is that the streets are littered with EXHIBIT 1‘s and the people desire a piece of art to admire so badly they are picking them up. I blame the T.I.’s for what they are doing to all the LITTLE JOHNNYs of the world.

little johnny LITTLE JOHNNY had taken to listening to crap music by FIFTY CENT, YOUNG JEEZY and JAY-Z. Here he is pictured on his way to the Summer Booty Fest 2003 concert. The highlight of the show was when NELLY poured a gallon of warm carmelized candy apple syrup on the behind of anyone who wanted a free pair of his ‘Apple Bottom’ brand jeans. LITTLE JOHNNY has a pair.

little johnny

We remember when LITTLE JOHNNY listened to The Poor Righteous Teachers and KRS-One. The T.I.’s thought that he might develop into a Black Nationalist, or worse, a communist so that’s when they began to conspire to bring a less complex and diverse texture into the playlists of commercial radio stations.


little johnny Today LITTLE JOHNNY enjoys listening to our old cassettes of Air Supply and DAN FOGELBERG while he becomes a productive member of the community.

Note to readers: WILLIAM H. SUNDAY is a high school dropout and is not a licensed general medical practitioner in any state or county.

ISRAEL Gives Peas A Chance

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006

hezbo hummus

Because of all your bitching and moaning, Israel has decided to stop crushing all the the tender young Lebanese peas into Hezbollah hummus.

For now…

How in the world do you negotiate this impasse? The country of Israel is a state actor that was transplanted in that region to be a staging area for Western intervention. Yes, there were tons of Jews in Jerusalem prior to the installation of Israel. HELLO?!?! The name of the town is JEW-rusalem. There were always Jews in all areas of the Middle East prior to the artificial lines that were created in Geneva. As a matter of fact, there are tons of Jews everywhere on the Earth, but never were they established in an area by brute force until the state of Israel was created. I am called a self-hating Jew and an anti-Semite when I say that the country of Israel exists by an illegal mandate.

So how do you resolve this conflict peacefully? You cannot. Israeli forces must realize their manifest destiny and assume the position of the Crusaders and the Romans before them until the Arab population has been placed into submission.

It’s a European thing, you wouldn’t understand.