Archive for the ‘white’ Category

StuffWhitePeopleLike…

Friday, February 26th, 2010

orca

Just so that I’m clear on this…

These animals are called KILLER whales right?

Tragic as it may seem I will have to file this under “This is a white thing, you wouldn’t understand“.

Olympic HockGhey’s Big Hit…

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

hockghey

Among the big four professional sports in the United States hockey might be the gheyest hence the people from Canada and Europe are always the best at it. Because fighting is legal Blacks are mostly excluded from the sport. You could just imagine the village that gets set aflame after some jig pummels a dude into a bloody pulp. Europeans haven’t rampaged with pitchforks and torches since Frankenstein so you know they are due.

Anyhoo, when hockey is just doing what it do people are smacking the shit out of one another. Peep superstar Russian player ALEXANDER OVECHKIN give the kiss of death to former teammate and veteran superstar JAROMIR JAGR. Boom!

*Automatic [ll] to this drop (natch)

Fux With The Super-G…

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

super G

The Olympics are teh ghey, but the alpine skiing contest called ‘Super-G’ is dope because the sport’s name sounds madd Hip-Hop.

CRISPUS ATTUCKS WEEK: CRYSTAL GAIL MANGUM…

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

crystal gail mangum

Editor’s note: I’m gonna bring this theme back from last year where Combat Jack and I had some fun saluting the people who have kept alive the legacy of CRISPUS ATTUCKS.

Many of you may not know this but CRISPUS ATTUCKS was the first person killed in the Revolutionary War. ATTUCKS was also a Black man. That he is generally the only name most people remember when queried about the so-called ‘Boston Massacre‘ says that ATTUCKS was surely a pioneer, but a pioneer of what you might ask? CRISPUS ATTUCKS has pioneered a long line of Africans in America who have gotten their shit fucked the fuck up because they were fucking around with the white.

To lead off this years CRIPUS ATTUCKS memoriam we will look at the controversial story of CRYSTAL GAIL MANGUM.

MANGUM is the woman, who in 2006, accused several Duke University lacrosse players of raping her. MANGUM had been in the company of the lacrosse team after she was contracted to perform erotically at a private party in the residence of the players. The story ignited a firestorm of racial tensions across the nation. The history of America and the relationships of whites and Blacks is well-documented for those that seek the information. Those that prefer rumor and sensationalism are unfortunately the majority however and the facts of this case were obscured and blurred from the start.

MANGUM was a stripper. MANGUM was hired to strip. At some point in the evening MANGUM was approached for services other than dancing and the removal of her clothing. MANGUM refused those advances. What has never been publicized is that MANGUM was issued a benzodiazepine from the players in order to make her pliant to their sexual advances. MANGUM had been drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana prior and all of these substances ultimately made for a convoluted toxicology report.

While MANGUM had no DNA evidence from the lacrosse players within her vagina she did show evidence of vaginal and anal intercourse. Basically, MANGUM was given a date rape drug by the players and she was fucked in her pussy and in her ass with something other than a penis. This is why CRYSTAL GAIL MANGUM deserves the CRISPUS ATTUCKS salutation. If she had simply kept her ass in the Black Durham strip clubs this would have never happened. She went after the what she thought would be the easy paper from the white college kids without realizing that these kids were depraved from years of privileged programming.

Date rape drugs (benzodiazepines) are drugs normally used to treat anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, and several other conditions. Some benzodiazepines used to treat insomnia possess a powerful motor-impairing sedative, with strong amnestic properties. This is the reason that she can’t remember exactly what happened, but it all boils down to her decision to fux around with the white. Sure the Black money is slow money and may not always help you pay the rent on time. but the Blacks don’t even know how to pronounce Benzodiazepine much less how to administer it.

Unfortunately, CRYSTAL GAIL MANGUM had to learn the hard way (puns always intended) that hanging around with the white is the quickest way to getting your shit fucked the fuck up. Luckily for her she didn’t suffer the same fate as CRISPUS ATTUCKS, but then again, it’s still very possible that a musket was shoved up inside of her. We’ll never know.

R.I.P. CRISPUS ATTUCKS.

crispus

Olympics = Zenith Of Ghey Sports…

Saturday, February 13th, 2010

luge

If they play your sport at the Olympics I will lay odds to rods [ll] that sport is ghey as fux. Some sports are inherently gheyer than most because they involve the competitors actually nestling within the genitals of their mates [ll].

Look at the double luge. Is luge some kind of Germanic word for having sex with another man’s ass? That is surely what that shit looks like. One guy steers the sled while the other guy tries to put his dick in the first guy’s butt [ll].

If the real meaning of luge isn’t that you are fuxed then the United States Olympic Committee, or whoever it is that gives away those gold medals needs to change the name to appropriately describe what you are when you come unglued from your sled while traveling at 100mph.

I think you are fuxed, but that’s just me.

I’m not all mathy-math boy, but I have a damn good imagination and I can imagine what the centrifgual force was as this dude’s sled whipped around each subsequent corner. You just hope your skin holds together somewhat and your skull isn’t cracked open like a cantaloupe splattering all of your sanguine brain meat.

Doing what amounts to cardio shit while wearing spandex, singlets, tightpants or even shorts is ghey. Doing that shit for NO money except for possibly a medal is super ghey. Dying during a practice run for your amateur sport makes you the patron saint of homosexuals. Practice?!? This would have never happened to Allen Iverson.

God please rest NODAR KUMARITASHVILI’s soul in ghey sports heaven.

luge