Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

Meet The Browns…

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

browns

Did you folks know that Lakers’ guard Shannon Brown just got married to R&B singer Monica? I didn’t know about this either because they had a super secret wedding, but then they leaked the news to the press via their public relations flack that they had a super secret wedding. What gives with all these public figures having private nuptials?

I’m still not convinced that Jay-Z and BeYonce are actually married either. I mean, has either one of them admitted to being married? Or in a committed monogamous relationship for that matter? Their music still reflects the lifestyles of single people not too far removed from their 21st birthday. And we all know that Jay-Z has been going on 21 for at least the past 21 years. Popular culture personalities have such a disconnect from the reality that most of us experience.

It’s probably not even my business to know the private relationships of these public figures anyhoo, but then why do these people tease their business out to me? Who Jay-Z marries is of no consequence as long as his album with Kanye West breathes fire. And if it doesn’t I will now blame BeYonce for making Jay-Z take out the garbage or some other domestic chore. I’m not sure when our society deemed it necessary to know all this information about celebrities but it has been effect for some time now so anyone desiring a level of fame has to accept this drawback.

For some reason I just feel more extra annoyed that Monica would want a secret wedding ceremony since she hasn’t had a hit record in my ears since 1999. Lord knows she could use some positive publicity right about now. I wonder how Shannon Brown and Monica ended up together. She’s almost ten years older than him in real life and she already has two kids from that rapper dude who looks like Fabolous. I thought basketball players on winning teams could do better than washed up R&B stars.

Maybe Amar’e Stoudemire and Toni Braxton could be an item? We prA’li won’t know until they get divorced.

Stiletto Fiends Unite!

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

ernie p

When Ernie Paniccioli isn’t writing a book or being the most Hip-Hop person on the planet Earth he is a stylist for wayward females.

ernie p
ernie p
ernie p
ernie p

All Praise Goes To The Booty…

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

bunda

Who in their right mind doesn’t love the booty?

It’s the place that holds the black hole and all of us science fiction geeks know the universe came out of a black hole.

I appreciate booty so much that I just joined this group on teh Facebooks called ‘The International Church of Bundaism‘. Read their mission statement and the whatnot…

The word Bundaism literally means “religion of the woman’s buttocks.” From the Portuguese word “bunda” (of the woman); beautiful shapely buttocks, and the Greek word “ism” meaning “a distinctive religion, practice or system of.”

Bundaism is a religion of spiritual sexuality which believes in attaining wealth, sexuality and communion with God through the worship of the sacred buttocks of Johanna Elohbunda. Bundaism teaches that pleasure and earthly prosperity are good basic fundamental truths and values of humanity which can be attained through the buttocks of callipygian (beautifully buttocked) women

Bunda be praised!

bunda

Kim Kardashian’s Discardable Whiteness…

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

kardashian

Kim Kardashian obviously has a little Black inside of her, and I’m not just talking about Ray J *rimshot*

I’m talking about the part of her that thinks you can cross colorlines in America. That worked for a while with Mariah Carey and even Tiger Woods, but it will come to nip Kim Kardashian in her ample tuchus before it’s all said and done.

Bo Derek could get away with her fetishism of Blackness and wearing prison plaits because she was basically ‘blonded’. I assume that we all know being blonded is the same as being bonded when it relates to ‘American’ privilege.

kardashian

Kim is hell’a swarthy tho’ so she better watch out before the Illuminati makes her play on the darker side permanently.

You can’t just play around with whiteness that way.

Whiteness is some serious shit.

Do you realize there are people being promoted to jobs they aren’t qualified for because they have whiteness?

Do you understand that there are opportunities being given to people simply because they have whiteness?

And Kim Kardashian has the nerve to act like she can move back and forth with her whiteness as much as changing a pair of her underdrawls? Which I’m sure are delicious, BTW.

Somebody with some whiteness (like Madonna) better inform Kim Kardashian that playing Black is all fun and games until they start making your $change$ strange.

And I still don’t see any Black faces on the U.S. dollar. Do you?

Jay-Z Is A Puppet…

Tuesday, December 14th, 2010

jigga muppet

via ETSY

For those of you who have been waiting to give the Jiggaman the finger [ll].