Archive for the ‘BeYONCE’s Hair’ Category

Dead Rappers Get Better Promotion…

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

jigger

What has Michael Jackson’s death taught you? It should be that the music industry is reliant now upon the deaths of icons to sell its backstock of CD’s and other merch. This is fine too since I can think of a plethora of aging rockers that could all remove their carbon footprints from the planet whilst also creating a boon to the flagging music business model.

Bob Dylan, David Bowie, Paul McCartney, Ozzy Osbourne, Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Robert Plant, Eric Clapton, etc. All of these artists have ridiculous catalogs and rabid fans worldwide that would buy their shit again if re-packaged into some kind of collector’s box set. The real way to come up though would be if you were Mick Jagger and you faked your death. Couldn’t you see Mick Jagger retiring to some Brazilian hideaway where sexy slim D-cup shemales fed him grapes all day? That is real rockstar shit my friends.

Who in the rap game has the catalog to retire on and still has enough of a following to make faking his demise profitable. The only dude is Jigga. Plus, who likes going to island resorts more than Jay-Z? I think 50 Cent has taken one vacation in all the years he has been rapping. You never see Eminem on vacation. Jay-Z is that anomaly who goes off on holiday and retires from rap simultaneously. Some people rap to go out on tour. Jay-Z raps to put points in his 401K.

I remember there was a latino dude that rapped like Jay-Z a few years back. I forget dude’s name and really I didn’t even bother to learn it because it was obvious he was smitten with Jay-Z so much that he would never get a break in the business. Now what if we pulled that dude away from his FedEx gig and told him to make some songs in the Jay-Z voice like that dude made all those songs using the 2Pac voice. Jay-Z could be holed up in Tobago with his roommate Larry Johnson and still caking off new albums that were supposedly recorded before his demise.

None of us here are that delusional to think that 2Pac recorded 5+ albums worth of material in 6 weeks? We all know that some dude that rapped with 2Pac’s voice was used to keep that dude’s legacy popping while 2Pac vacations in Cuba. Jay-Z could do the same thing. There is now way a Jay-Z album is going platinum under its own power. When I say platinum I am referring to 1999 platinum status(1M units) as opposed to 2009 plat(300K units). This is my best idea evar. Jay-Z can finally retire like he’s always talked about and he will become the best selling rap artist of all time.

This is at least until Eminem fakes his death and has Asher Roth rapping for him posthumously.

Master Plan >>> Blueprint

Monday, July 6th, 2009

library

Maybe you want to know a little bit of my background before I proceed with this drop? I dropped out of architectural school in my first upperclassmen year. It wasn’t just the difficulty of the classwork in as much as it was about the prospects for enrichening employment after I had graduated in another several years of study. Plus, I didn’t like practicing architecture as much as I enjoyed writing about it (and other things). My parents were disappointed that I wasn’t going to finish my degree in an engineering field. They considered writers to be ‘dime-a-dozen’ and even more underpaid than Black architects.

My dad was right as usual and writers are a ‘dime-a-dozen’, but I haven’t left the architecture engineering trade altogether. I spend my days working with architects and construction managers as we construct buildings all around New York City. I have an old Jew to thank for my career that pays me, as well as the one that gives me my passion. The old Jew was a scholar and a humanitarian. He taught me how to create master plans and the process for reproducing them into blueprints.

You all understand that a blueprint is a copy right? The master plan is too valuable to be placed into the wrong hands that might not be able to protect it so instead a reproduction is made and the draftsman, be it the engineer or the architect presides over the blueprint to explain the information contained therein. There are details contained on the master plan that don’t necessarily always transfer to the blueprint so if the architect that drafted the plans isn’t available some of the crucial construction information will be lost.

imperial 65

So when I hear that your favorite rapper is working on his third blueprint I think to myself that maybe his master plan is what needs the retrofit. Jay-Z has been the most successful rapper of all time (even more than Eminem) just from the sheer volume of press that all his his non-rapping endeavors generate. Jay-Z spent more time on vacation since 9-11 than President Bush spent on that ranch in Texas. The master plan can’t be about not working though. This is another lesson from the old Jew who was a rabbi, a teacher. The old Jew was all about teaching people how to become fishermen as opposed to giving people free fish.

What have you learned from Jay-Z? What has Jay-Z rhymed about that has motivated you to investigate after the song was over? The master plan contains keys to sections, details and elevations. Without all of this comprehensive information how will you complete your construction? I’m not saying that Jay-Z can’t become a rabbi himself like the old Jew was to me but I don’t see it at this point. You see, when the old Jew was young he was still a rabbi. This is the type of man he was. You don’t become a leader and teacher of men overnight. Leaders and teachers wish for their followers and students to succeed them, not to be held back with jealousy and contempt.

This drop isn’t to disparage Jay-Z in as much as I would like for those that hold him above themselves to wonder why they too aren’t leading and teaching the youth that are coming up in the game? As opposed to holding people back from reaching their potential like their favorite rapper does.

corona little league

Randomosity…

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

otw

Afros >>>

DP strolls thru Brooklyn and NYC for your entertainment.

R.I.P. MICHAEL JACKSON

Brand Nubian Queens…

Sunday, June 21st, 2009

eritrea

I’m having fun with maps today. As I perused a map of the so-called Middle East I noticed that my favorite country for exotic women things, Eritrea, was actually chopped away to make for a country called Djibouti.

eritrea

Shit like this happens when you need to have a staging area to regulate the traffic from the Red Sea and the Gulf of Aden.

But then I wondered to myself what the women from this privileged province might look like. The Eritreans always looked like well fed Ethiopians. So maybe the Djiboutis would look like Somalis, but not as crazy-eyed or down for piracy.

djibouti

The Djiboutis looked better than I expected. I should have known better though. They do have the word ‘booty’ in their namesake. From Berbera to Brooklyn, it’s all about Djibouti chicks for the win this summer.

djibouti
Hottentot Venus FTW!
djibouti

Casting My Pod…

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

dp

I’m still working out the kinks to this whole podcasting aspect of DP.com so bear with me as I try to find some folks to help me push this shit up another level.

Podcast number 2 is in the books. I’m already looking forward to number 3 which will be from Philadelphia co-starring the lovely Chocolate Snowflake (if she so chooses, ol’ girl enjoys her relative anonymity in the course of my DP madness).

I am shipping off to Philly as you read this drop. Someone holler at me and let me know where the Yeezy’s are gonna be.